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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:33:34 PM EDT
[#1]
Dude, not even women understand themselves.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:36:05 PM EDT
[#2]
I would say it all depends on the woman.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:38:24 PM EDT
[#3]
English, please. Ok, I'll give this a shot... *SOME* women think *normally*. Most of them post here. The other 3 live in Angola and are not happy about it. As for all other women......forget rational thought. They don't think. They feel. Yes, it is possible to 'feel' something is right, wrong, or a mere matter of the social injustice carried out by the Bush administration against those in specific socioeconomic classes. These 'feelers' are also gifted with the ability to say 'see spot run' using 437 words, most of which have 3 or more syllables, none of which are relevant to sight, spot, or canine locomotion. If you have any more questions, look for my upcoming book, "How I Cured Half of the World's Problems", subtitled "Why Won't Anyone Listen to Me?". |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:42:56 PM EDT
[#4]
Go to the Womens forum and find out.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:43:06 PM EDT
[#5]
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:43:48 PM EDT
[#6]
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:43:50 PM EDT
[#7]
Too scared to. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:44:05 PM EDT
[#8]
Erm...most of us there are a bit too rational to truly represent the average woman. ETA: I didn't say I was one of them. 
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:44:38 PM EDT
[#9]
Does that mean there are more ways women can be manipulated - because buttons and switches are there to be manipulated. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:45:49 PM EDT
[#10]
Through Mascara???
 MT |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:47:32 PM EDT
[#11]
Through running mascara if it's the right time of the month. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:47:45 PM EDT
[#12]
One would hope so, but I’ve found this to be untrue. Fundamentally, they are the same, but it's the details (which vary greatly) that make one better than another. What I mean to say is they’re all nuts, but some are worth it... I guess. As far as how they differ fundamentally, the most glaring example I can think of is a profound inability to separate rational ideas from the fog of emotion. This is not to say all men are rational and all women are totally irrational, but their chemistry seems to dictate that emotion trump logic. If anyone knows of a woman for whom this is not the case please e-mail me pics and a phone number. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:52:19 PM EDT
[#13]
Women are like onions, they have layers. Why they can't be like parfaits is beyond me. Everybody likes parfaits! |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:52:34 PM EDT
[#14]
Think of a man, then take away reason and accountability.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:52:56 PM EDT
[#15]
What's a parfait? |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:54:20 PM EDT
[#16]
I ask about this because I am really trying to understand women.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:55:14 PM EDT
[#17]
Best explaination I'v heard for a LLOOONNNNGGGG while. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:56:10 PM EDT
[#18]
Well, if you are what you eat, then I would be parfait, because that is what I had for breakfast 
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:56:43 PM EDT
[#19]
I applaud you for your effort, but I think that might be a waste of time. Like men, women are all different and therefore there is no understanding of us in the plural. A for effort, though.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:58:21 PM EDT
[#20]
It was a Shrek quote. Parfaits are a dessert. Usually lots of fruit and whipped cream, maybe some ice cream, in a glass. You eat it witha spoon. It's probably french. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 4:58:36 PM EDT
[#21]
That's very true. My wife gets as frustrated as I do with "normal" women. The rare and (very) special women, as typified by those on this site, are a gift from God. Bless the few of you who make life wonderful.  For most women, estrogen rots the brain. 
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:01:23 PM EDT
[#22]
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Haven't met many real life women, have you? Here, let me translate this one for you: Men's needs are simple. Women's need are complex. Girlie men have needs that are like women's. Butch girls have needs like men's, most of the time, except when they have women's needs. Religious girls have needs like matadors, but refuse to admit it. Pr0n queens have AIDS. Ah, fuggedaboutit. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:02:28 PM EDT
[#23]
'Splain please cause I meet a lot of religious girls. Matadors? |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:04:48 PM EDT
[#24]
Ever seen a bullfight? Imagine you're the bull... |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:05:52 PM EDT
[#25]
So you're saying they're all teases or something? |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:07:09 PM EDT
[#26]
Thank you for at least trying but no two women are the same, which therefore makes it virtually impossible to truly understand them. Some characteristics are similar however, but if you close off your mind and don't try to see beyond the generalities you will get nowhere. I suggest: Treat a woman with respect, and she will respect you. (unless she is a bitch) Treat a woman as an individual, and she will treat you the same. (unless she is a bitch) Treat a woman as your equal, knowing that in some ways, she will make up for what you lack, and you will make up for what she lacks. It is only then that you can be whole in a relationship. That's what they mean by becoming "one". My work is done here
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:09:18 PM EDT
[#27]
For pity's sakes let's all take up a collection to get this poor kid laid!
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:09:23 PM EDT
[#28]
^^^^^All of that, and LONG RED HAIR!!^^^^^^^ WOW!
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:09:53 PM EDT
[#29]
You are actually trying to figure out a womans thought process???
 
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:10:29 PM EDT
[#30]
FATHER: ...Clarence, women aren't the angels that you think they are. Well, now-first, let me explain this to you. You see, Clarence, we men have to run this world and it's not an easy job. It takes work, and it takes thinking. A man has to be sure of his facts and figures. He has to reason things out. Now you take a woman-a woman thinks-no I'm wrong right there-she doesn't think at all. She just get stirred up. And she gets stirred up about the damnedest things. ((Remembering his own troubles) Now, I love my wife just as much as any man, but that doesn't mean I should stand for a lot of folderol. By God, I won't stand for it.
CLARENCE: Stand for what, Father?.......... FATHER: Women, They get stirred up-and then they try to get you stirred up, too-but don't you let them Clarence. As long as you can keep reason and logic in the argument, -no matter what it's about, a man can hold his own, of course. But if they can switch you-pretty soon the argument's about whether you love them or not. I swear I don't know how they do it. Don't you let 'em Clarence, don't you let 'em. I just did this play (Life with Father) three weeks ago and these were my favorite lines from the script!!! Got quite a laugh from the audience every night also. Especially the men. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:10:30 PM EDT
[#31]
Okay, here's the thing. Today at work I talked to this really attractive young woman. She's a professional like me. The only things I talk about with her is work...she has less experience than me so I try to make sure she understands stuff. Not because she is a woman. Anyway, I ask her today as gently as I could if she understood what this meant, and she nodded very defensively. I think she took it in a bad way and felt I was talking to her like that because she is female and I'm male, when in actuality, I really was just trying to make sure she understood. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:13:12 PM EDT
[#32]
How do women view the WORLD? Easy, they don't view the world.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:18:13 PM EDT
[#33]
Do NOT dip your pen in the company ink! Even if that is not your intention, don't even date the company ink! Nothing good will ever or has ever come from it. (with very few exceptions that I have seen) I know that's not the topic at hand, but I figured you should For a lonely guy (that's me) it's tempting to try and date the very nice, very hot women in the sales department. It's also a very bad idea. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:19:32 PM EDT
[#34]
Not at all. They do have the ability to get you to keep coming at them, though, while they swerve and dance out of the way, all the while continuing to wave that red cape at you. Of course, the picadores will have been lancing you from well-padded horses. These are the girlfriends. Meanwhile, you continue to charge at the flashing red cloth. The closer you get, the better the show. But in the end, they're still gonna stick the sword in your neck. 
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:24:28 PM EDT
[#35]
Wow. You seem to have a lot of experience with religious girls. I would agree with what you said. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:24:58 PM EDT
[#36]
I agree. I don't date co-workers. BAD BAD juju. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:27:36 PM EDT
[#37]
<----seriously, honestly, completely interested in hearing you expound upon your experiencs, due to recent events in my own life that may be similar to yours..... |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:40:36 PM EDT
[#38]
Women only see the world that men have built for them, they never see the world we have built it from.
A womans great failure is when she fails to understand the difference between the two, and thusly fails to see the difference between the two... casting cold indifference to the works of men. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:41:04 PM EDT
[#39]
No Problem . Get a plastic bucket and drill a hole in the side , 4" from the top . Add 2oz of Mustard , 3/4 cup of white vinegar , 1/2 lb of sugar , a handful of used coffee grounds , a blue sock and a dash bee pollen . Turn off the light and cover the bucket with a piece of plywood painted Mauve then roll up a piece of paper and put it under the collar of a medium sized dog . When your done with that Go outside and wait for it to get dark . Once you can see stars , count exactly 28 stars from the horizon and throw a rock at it . Now Pull the pockets out of your pants and bend over backwards in an arch and walk back into the house like that , Once inside remember back to the 3rd grade to someone who made fun of you and cry about it till you feel better .. There ya go |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:41:15 PM EDT
[#40]
Verrry interesting. I like it. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:45:12 PM EDT
[#41]
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:56:18 PM EDT
[#42]
Don't fish off the company pier. It almost always has bad results.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:56:56 PM EDT
[#43]
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:58:03 PM EDT
[#44]
That makes no sense to me. |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:58:57 PM EDT
[#45]
Exactly. Get it? |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 5:58:59 PM EDT
[#46]
Through my wallet.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 6:01:28 PM EDT
[#47]
DOH! |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 6:07:27 PM EDT
[#48]
I gave up a few years ago. (Think I mentioned this earlier around here somewhere) I've decided to just go with it now. Whatever that means... |
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Posted: 10/26/2004 6:08:11 PM EDT
[#49]
Doc Love seems to have women figured out... or so it seems.
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Posted: 10/26/2004 6:20:47 PM EDT
[#50]
Who cares? No one is asking me how I view the world, how I feel about the state of the nation, what my problems are, etc.
Women are a touchy subject with me. I love them and have a great one, but they are so "I am your equal. But, Honey, could you please go to war and die for me but I shouldn't have to because I want to rely on your chilvalrious (sp?) nature!" |
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