User Panel
Posted: 10/13/2004 2:53:29 PM EDT
They made it out of the car but barely? It happened to me and it was pretty shitty
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I predict this thread will last as long as my fart thread. 5+ pages
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This happened a few weeks ago and I did not even get into the house ! Dropped 'em right next to the garage wall and POW ! Messy real messy. Smelled nasty .....
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I've got the worst story in the world (or close) regarding this .....
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"Prairie Doggin it" |
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No, but for some reason whenever, after just coming home, I sit in my computer chair, I have to take a dump really bad. Also, when I walk in the door, I have to whiz something awful.
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It's psychological. You get home and your body knows it can let loose in privacy and comfort. |
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Yeah he does!!! |
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yeah thats weird huh, I remember shitting one time a day when I was in boot, probably 1 time every 2 days in the field. |
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Try drinking some river water outa GA river on a camptrip. 2 weeks later, you have exactly 10seconds to make it to the shitter. I kid you not. I made it 100% of the time, but barely.
I dont mean , get up , walk to bathroom, turn on lights, shut door, drop pants , lift lid or put lid down and get comfy. Im talking shuffle your ass to the bathroom as fast as you can while pullin down your britches along the way. Hopefully you have prepared and the THrone is already to go.Those precious seconds can cost you dearly. If your spouse jus happens to be in there, yell along the way." GET the F*ck out!!!" You wanna get a woman outa the bathroom in a hurry? thatll do it. . |
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Oh crap. Was it the Chatahoochee south of Atlanta? That thing is god-awful. I remember camping out on West Point Lake with my parents and cooking fish over the campfire when I was a little kid. Not anymore. I wouldn't eat anything that had ever touched that lake now. |
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I was trying to keep a Pace Count on a Land Nav course on night, crossing a big golf course in Baumholder. My story doesnt end as nicely as you guys' does. I tried to run, but it was too late.
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If it was the Chata-toilet then I don't doubt it one bit!! That river has more tampons and condoms floating down it than the playtex and trojan factories. |
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It was the river that has SouthCarolina and GA as its border , the same river Deliverance was filmed on. lol |
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The river that borders SC and GA is the Savannah River, but I think Deliverance was filmed on the Chattooga and maybe also the Tallulah. Not sure though.
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I work with a guy who cannot, for the life of him, hold his bowels. If he's gotta go, he's going.
He has regaled us with stories of shitting on the side of the road everywhere between work and home. He even once crapped on the back steps here at the plant. What, you couldn't make it another 30 feet to the bathroom? The guy is messed up. Seriously messed up. He doesn't think anything of stopping on the side of the road, grabbing the bed of his truck, and letting it go right there. Me, I can regularly go 2-3 days between dumps. More if I work at it. |
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Dude. That's what Depends are for. I hope he's at least seen a doctor about it? |
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Yesterday morning I had to drop off a real grogan. A full ass load for sure. The kind where you
flush before even thinking about reaching for the paper because the load itself MIGHT be too much for the toilet. Then later in the day, I came home for lunch and damn if I didn't have to drop off ANOTHER splendid example of a grogan, every bit as big as the first! I can't remember dumping two full loads in one day before. I figure I lost eight pounds yesterday from just these two movements. I heed the warnings. When the situation reaches critical ass, I'm NEVER caught with my pants UP! CJ |
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We've told him to go see a doctor about it, but he says there is nothing out of the ordinary about it. |
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I can't believe this thread is on page 2. You guys are sick...and, should definitely read this www.tuckermax.com/austinroadtrip.html
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Thats the first thing that popped into my mind! Great movie! |
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I had to crap so bad driving home today, my butthole wrote an SOS message in brown crayon in my BVDs.
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The occasional turtle head is no big deal provided it's a well formed turd. What you want to avoid is the demonic event known as "Sharting"
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If you're under stress, you may not crap for days. I was on an open ocean voyage (sailboat) once and didn't go for a week. There was a doctor on the trip and he said I was nowhere near the record for no going. Try crapping while strapped to a bucking bronco. That was what going to the can on this boat was like. Needed seatbelts for the head. |
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Of course who hasn't? But, have you ever done the "ballerina walk"? You know where you walk stiff legged on tippy toes with butt clinched to hold things in.
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as the airborne guys like to say, "I have a jumper in the door."
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Thanks for the link. There are some damn good stories on that site. |
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No....I don't think anything can top the guy where who did quite a number on an airplane (I *think* it was 1gunrunner?) |
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My psycho fiancee hasn't pooped in 7 days. And she won't let me stick in her pooper and post pics.
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+1 |
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Hey I live near that river.... |
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That thread was the BEST! And to add to the original post, there have been tiems when I've crawled to the bathroom because my bladder was about to explode. |
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Well I can't top that...........on a plane? |
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surely someone has the 1GR airport food post saved, right? 'twas more than 3 months ago, so I can't find it with search
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Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Anyone else see Tom Hanks' remake of "The Ladykillers", where one of the bank robbers keeps having to stop working to take a dump? |
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Yesterday I ripped on of the loudest farts I have ever done. I was in the stall, and someone just left the bathroom. I waited for him to leave because I knew there was no way I was not going to laugh my head off. I farted, and laughed myself to tears.
It was good. |
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