OK, my buddy owns a limo company.

He still has to make runs but keeps the choice and VIP accounts for himself. Sometimes when I bored I run shotgun with him cause cruisng places like South Beach in a limo is kinda fun sometimes.

Anyway last night we pick up a guy, his wife and their mistress.

First the wife is bad ass as hell. Some serious Penthouse quality poon there (sorry no pics). And the guy has a live in mistress who is probably 10 years younger and one of the hottest latin chicks I've ever seen in my life. I'm not even going to talk about what they were wearing because it hurts to think about it.

I don't know what the hell this guy does for a living but I hate him, his hot ass 2 fucking women and his big ass house in Boca. I don't really hate the 2 hotass women, I just hate him for having them.

Anyway they were going out for their anniversary (guy and his wifes) and where do they go? Private Swing Club. Bastard. He's already fucking two of the hottest chicks in Florida and he's going out for more. I hope he gets a disease and his penis falls off. I'm not really jealous I just want in dead.

Even worse, both these chicks are NICE and flirty. Wife tells us a joke.

Here is the joke:

Wife and her husband are at a restraunt when a younger woman walks by and wispers in the husbands ear. Wife asks "Who was that?"

Husband says, "That was my mistress."

Wife gets upset and says "Maybe I need to think about a divorce."

Husband says "What you should think about is losing half of everything we have, the houses, cars, boats, vacations, money and jewelry."

Wife looks around and see's her husbands friend with a young woman she doesn't recognize and asks "Who's that with Bill?"

Husband replies "That's his mistress."

Wife says "Ours is prettier."

.
.
.
I'm about 99.999% sure I could have hooked up with the wife, just one problem, I'm also 99.999% certain my wife wouldn't approve.

As a consequence she flirts with me all night.

They get to the club and invite us in, we politely decline.

They are in there for about 3 hours and 4 different pretty hot chicks come out to the limo during that time and invite my buddy and myself into the club. I quitely curse myself for not doing this in my pre married years and we sit in the limo and talk about how completely robbed we both feel.

I generally am not the type to be envious of what other people have but GOD DAMN.

I'm sure this guy is nice as hell (and why the fuck shouldn't he be - what could he possibly have to complain about) but I still want him dead. I want in dead or at least in severe pain almost as much as I want to bang the hell out of his wife.

Quoted: Dood... If my limo driver brought a friend with him he would be SOOO fired!

I was technically in a "executive security" capacity.

Quoted: Wormer... he's a dead man Marmalard... dead! Neidermeyer... DEAD!

He's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right.

Quoted: I hope your wife does not read the boards.

I already told her.

Still working on Phase Two (Operation Get Wife To Private Swing Club).

I'm encountering some resistance.

Quoted: I was technically in a "executive security" capacity.

In Florida? What classes of license do you have?

Quoted: Quoted: I was technically in a "executive security" capacity. In Florida? What classes of license do you have?

Unlicensed. Basically riding shotgun.

Gettting EP licensing down here is absurd, my buddy looked into once.

Quoted: Dude don't hate me! I was just having a good time. I keep the mistress around to help out the old lady with cleaning my huge house on the water. I'm just looking out for her.

DIE GAS PUMPER!

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I hope your wife does not read the boards.   I already told her. Still working on Phase Two (Operation Get Wife To Private Swing Club). I'm encountering some resistance. That may be because she respects the marriage and remembers her vows. Swingers are losers. If you can't have sex with the woman you married for the rest of your life then a divorce is in order. Swinging is cheating no matter how they try to label it.

Yeah, this guy was a big loser.

Quoted: Mine was not a religous statement at all. More of a respect your spouse thing. I know all about swingers. Years ago I was a partner in a strip club/escort service/swinger club. Granted I was around the scum of the earth most of the time, I never understood these couples who have kids and send them to a sitter and then go swing. I mean they kiss their kids with that mouth that just sucked 4 different dicks. Or the hubby that says "ohh baby it turns me on to see you getting dp'd by those black guys" Wtf? You can leave religon out of this on my part, I see it more of a mental illness. Most swingers have to be stoned or drunk to do what they do. I know I saw it myself. If you have to get stoned to do something, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. E.T.A..........That guy is a loser, he is searching for something he doesn't have. He is unhappy and morally corrupt. Money and babes don't make a winner.

I've seen the type you describe but I've seen exactly the same kind of people in non swinging relationships. Some people are just losers.

And this guy and his girls definitely didn't fit your description.

As for me I could do the whole live in mistress thing (if my wife let me) but I couldn't let other guys be boning my stuff. That's mine dammit.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Mine was not a religous statement at all. More of a respect your spouse thing. I know all about swingers. Years ago I was a partner in a strip club/escort service/swinger club. Granted I was around the scum of the earth most of the time, I never understood these couples who have kids and send them to a sitter and then go swing. I mean they kiss their kids with that mouth that just sucked 4 different dicks. Or the hubby that says "ohh baby it turns me on to see you getting dp'd by those black guys" Wtf? You can leave religon out of this on my part, I see it more of a mental illness. Most swingers have to be stoned or drunk to do what they do. I know I saw it myself. If you have to get stoned to do something, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. E.T.A..........That guy is a loser, he is searching for something he doesn't have. He is unhappy and morally corrupt. Money and babes don't make a winner. I've seen the type you describe but I've seen exactly the same kind of people in non swinging relationships. Some people are just losers. And this guy and his girls definitely didn't fit your description. As for me I could do the whole live in mistress thing (if my wife let me) but I couldn't let other guys be boning my stuff. That's mine dammit. I'm not being holier than thou, I did all that shit before I was married. My comment is about after marriage. Ever think your wife is like you? You know your dick is hers and she don't want you sharing?

Guess you missed the "if my wife let me" part.

If she had a problem with it, it wouldn't happen.

Thought I made that pretty clear.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Mine was not a religous statement at all. More of a respect your spouse thing. I know all about swingers. Years ago I was a partner in a strip club/escort service/swinger club. Granted I was around the scum of the earth most of the time, I never understood these couples who have kids and send them to a sitter and then go swing. I mean they kiss their kids with that mouth that just sucked 4 different dicks. Or the hubby that says "ohh baby it turns me on to see you getting dp'd by those black guys" Wtf? You can leave religon out of this on my part, I see it more of a mental illness. Most swingers have to be stoned or drunk to do what they do. I know I saw it myself. If you have to get stoned to do something, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. E.T.A..........That guy is a loser, he is searching for something he doesn't have. He is unhappy and morally corrupt. Money and babes don't make a winner. I've seen the type you describe but I've seen exactly the same kind of people in non swinging relationships. Some people are just losers. And this guy and his girls definitely didn't fit your description. As for me I could do the whole live in mistress thing (if my wife let me) but I couldn't let other guys be boning my stuff. That's mine dammit. I'm not being holier than thou, I did all that shit before I was married. My comment is about after marriage. Ever think your wife is like you? You know your dick is hers and she don't want you sharing? Guess you missed the "if my wife let me" part. If she had a problem with it, it wouldn't happen. Thought I made that pretty clear. I got that part, but shame shame for wanting too

I "want" to do lots of stuff I'm not suppossed to do.

Don't feel shame for it though. Desire and actions are two different things.

And honestly the only way I'd do the swinging thing was if it was WITH my wife and she was actually into it and not just doing it for me. It would have to be "just for fun" and additional female only.

Quoted: You know, when you have been given stuff like good looks and money, you really don't appreciate what you have.

I appreciate my good looks.

You hate him that much?

Simple, you just kill him.
I'm only kidding!