Geee....I can't wait to convert to Islam so I can slap the shit out of my wife!
I have discovered that my new religion of peace allows me to hit my wife, yep, yes sir... it says so right there under #17 (The patience and Mildness rules) I am so excited to use my new Allah given rights!
I am gonna' hop into my rig and gowa' down to dat them damn corner store and'ah pick up a half rack of Schmitt and a Qur’aner-thing-a-ma-jig and git to it!!!
Yeeeeehaaa...Hot damn...Allah Akbar!!!!!!
Read below for an enlightening snip from "How to make your wife happy" that can be found at http://www.jannah.org/sisters/wifehappy.html
(PLEASE DON'T HOT LINK) 17. Patience and Mildness
* Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
*
Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..* Forgive the mistakes she does to you (See item 18).
* How can you best correct her mistakes?
1- First, implicit and explicit advice several times.
2- Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings).
Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.
3- The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the husband should consider the following:- He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet
never beat a woman or a servant. (but since I am only human it is ok
!!!)
-
He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g.
refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not
praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time
without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been,
etc.. - It should not be done except after having turned from her (in)bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur'an .
- He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body. (how considerate of them
WTF
)
- He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe,etc.