HOW TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT
author unknown
1. You believe that AIDS is spread by a lack of government funding
2. You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding American Citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Allah
4. You have to believe that there was no art before government funding
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the Earth's climate, and more effected by Republicans in SUV's
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is normal
7. You have to be against capital punishment but in favor of unrestricted abortion on demand
8. You have to believe that business creates oppression and that government creates prosperity
9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it
10. You have to believe that the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution but that the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution
11. You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high
12. You have to believe that Gloria Steinem and Jessie Jackson are more important to American History than Thomas Jefferson or Thomas Edison
13. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist but racial quotas and set asides are not
14. You have to believe that the only reason that socialism has not worked anywhere that it has been tried is because the right people have not been in charge
15. You have to believe that minorities, especially blacks, are inferior and incapable of individual advancement without government intervention
16. You have to believe that preaching "alternative lifestyles" from the front of the class is good but the Pledge of Allegiance "Under God" is bad
17. You must believe that savage acts of terror are the moral equivalent of political discourse and/or approprate response to America's "crimes"; and that to defend America against an attacker is "aggression" because the attack is our fault.
18. You must believe in using the power of government to steal from the productive in order to give to the parasitical, and that there is no distinction between true need and greed.
19. You must believe that Consitutional Rights apply only when you consider their application appropriate and that in the end you know best what the great unwashed masses should think and do
20. You must despise Old Glory and the ideals and the nation for which it stands