With the college year starting up I think it would be good for ARFCOMERS to share some college horror stories, these could include crazy liberals or crazy drunks or crazy anything...

errrrr, never did anything crazy, I needed to keep my 4.0 GPA

My story happened last semester and has to do with my Community Advisor who happened to be a closet communist. We had just played a rousing game of volleyball and i mentioned that volleyball was a commie sport in jest. He got all mad at me for using 'discriminatory' language and started to give me a tutorial on how i was a racist, homophobic bigot. He continued bashing me without giving me a chance to defend myself during the entire walk back to the dorms. When I opened my door he saw the Liberty or Death flag on my wall and asked me "You arent one of those militia types are you?" i replied "I am not part of a militia but i do have an extensive collection of guns." needless to say i never had another problem with this psuedo marxist.

I slipped on a wet floor and landed flat on my stomach with my book bag on my head in front of an awful lot of people my freshmen year. It wouldn't have been that bad, but the custodian came running to my aid yelling, "are you alright?" He yelled it over and over again. I finally responded with, "I'm fine, thanks."

I got accused of being a libertarian in my polysci class last thursday,  because I actually knew the correct definition of the term 'federalism'.

I have a feeling its going to be a long semester...

Quoted: I got accused of being a libertarian in my polysci class last thursday,  because I actually knew the correct definition of the term 'federalism'. I have a feeling its going to be a long semester...

just shows how educated people in college are (whats wrong with being liberatarian)

I was a photographer for the Daily Commie at UCBerkeley. On duty when BAMN (By Any Means Necessary) was holding it's "rally" in support of Affirmative Action. Turns out they bused in a bunch of Oakland high schoolers to bolster their numbers. Well, Oaklanders will be Oaklanders and the little scumbags start rioting, then breaking store windows and looting. I got great photos of all of them in the act.

I should have gone straight to the cops, but I mistakenly took the film back to the office to get them developed. The editor looks at the photos, says "we can't publish these. They make BAMN look bad." Then I asked for them so I could at least take them to the cops. She promptly shredded the negs.

Sophmore year.  Architecture undergrad.  Ate nothing all day but taco bell and a 5 lb bag of smarties.  Went to a party that night, got way hammered, woke up the next day in the back of a Ryder truck, in the ghetto, while it was raining, with puke on my pants and my glasses nowhere to be found.  Had to walk home in the rain through the ghetto on Sunday morning while people were all out driving to church.  Fortunately for me I couldn't really see them anyway.

Only time I have ever in my life puked from drinking.

keg party, one of the taps was leaking so it would get stored in a bucket that was filling up with beer, late in the evening some jackass wants to do a second story beer bong. by this time the bucket is filled with nasty beer, cig butts and spit, as the kegs were long empty. a buddy grabs the bucket andruns upstairs and fills the funnel with it. the guy finished most of it.

another party..complete chaos. one friend of mine is bored so he opens the window to the bathroom and removes the screen, he sets himself down in a lawn chair with the garden hose and spray nozzle. everytime the light goes on(mostly girls) he proceeds to shoot water into open window, soaking down whoever is in the bathroom, screams abound.

same party, lots of destruction, aluminum awning ripped clear of house, small items thrown up into and subsequently catapulted by ceiling fan, peaking with a large 2 topping dominoes pizza. push lawnmower started and then thrown into above ground swimming pool, then swimming pool breached causing several thousand gallons of water spilling throughout the party. and 1 dead cockatiel.


another friend decorated his room, well filled it with artifical christmas trees, in a mock pine forest, in the clearing, he created a mock fire ring of stones, and pitched a large tent in which he slept. an indoor campsite.....it was sweet.

Quoted: "I am not part of a militia but i do have an extensive collection of guns." .

Yes you are part of the militia. What is it 18-60?

Passed out in a large class once (over 150 people). For some reason I wasnt feeling well.. had a cold sweat and the next thing I know a student who is also an EMT was asking me if I was ok. College security took me to the doctors office on campus were they took my BP & Blood sugar. BP was very low, which may have caused my passout. On the plus side I had a really cute nurse holding my hand while she took my BP telling me I'd be alright.

Quoted: Quoted: "I am not part of a militia but i do have an extensive collection of guns." . Yes you are part of the militia. What is it 18-60?

Able bodied males age 17-45, as per the Militia Act of 1792. One of our first laws. It was later codified into the U.S. Code, but I forget  the number.

This is from 2 weeks ago (I go to school early because of my job).

A frat got the boot due to to many infractions and their frat house is now a dorm.  (Has like 35 rooms)

The entire house is considered a dorm in all respects except for the basement.  There were some serious "Private property" and "Do not enter" signs on the basement entrances.

Needless to say, my 2 friends and I HAD to get into that damn basement... simply because we could.

After killing a bottle of JD and Grey Goose (Yeah, the $40 stuff) we popped the bolts out of the hinges of one door and used a crowbar to get it open.  We did some damage but only to the side that faced the inside of the basement, so no biggie.  

With the door off, we explored with flashlights (blown out bulbs) for about half an hour.

We came across their lil ceremony stage thing and several back rooms... everything littered with paintings of skulls and stuff.  The entire space was infested with bats and spiders and it was brutally hot.   We found a blowup doll, torn in multiple places, and a BOX of vaseline (Both in separate rooms, get your mind out of the gutter)

Well... I guess you woulda had to been there... it was a good time, trust me.   Breaking and entering when you are supposed to be an authority figure is always good.  My boss managed to find out what happened and I was damn close to getting fired.

- BG

The one I remember best  .... $28,000 in student loans

One time, when I was in college, I asked this girl out, but she said no.

They made me take three quarters of foreign language (Italian) to finish my degree.  THE HORROR...  

Hanging out in my buddies dorm at ASU.  He is on the third or fourth story (this was close to 8 years ago)  My buddies bike on the balcony falls over, and we think that's wierd because there is absoultly no wind.  We open the balcony window and look around, don't see anything out of place.  We look down and there is a guy passed out on the grass below us.  We figure he was drunk and decided to lay down on the grass.  My buddies roommate comes out on the balcony with us and we start yelling down at the guy, and then the roommate grabs empty soda cans out of the wastebasket and we throw them over the balcony trying to nail the drunk dude.  Well, while we were doing that some guy comes out and walks over to the dude, looks at him and yells up at us that he thinks the guy is dead.  911 is called, they come out with an ambulance and load the guy up.  Cop comes up and talks to us.  The guy was a jumper, left a suicide note and jumped out of his room two or three stories above us.  He apparntly struck my buddies balcony on the way down, knocked over the bike.  That cop made us feel like absoulte shit for throwing shit at an almost dead guy (guy died a couple of hours later at the hospital)

Make matters worse, my ex-girlfriend calls me a few days later, she is really sad because her boyfriend had committed suicide by jumping off the balcony of his dorm.  In his note, he wrote that he was beginning to hear voices and couldn't stand the thought of going insane.  I didn't tell her about the miniscule role I played in the whole fiasco.

I was forced to take a woman's study class from a professor named [drumroll] DREAMA MOON [/drumroll].  No shi*.

Quoted: The one I remember best  .... $28,000 in student loans

I have $85,000.  Shut your pie hole.

Quoted: One time, when I was in college, I asked this girl out, but she said no.

You gotta wait for them to ask you.

I'm still waiting

Quoted: Quoted: The one I remember best  .... $28,000 in student loans I have $85,000.  Shut your pie hole.

Damn ....... Sucks to be you

Never went, no stories, no debt.  I sometimes regert it.

My freshman year at Duke started off rather badly - we had two incidents in a two-week period that fall.  A girl in my freshman dorm was killed after she lost her balance while standing at the top of the steps in the middle of one of the university buses.  She fell against the doors, and they popped open just enough for her to fall through, and she was pulled under the rear wheels.

Shortly after that (I think, maybe it happened first), a hospital employee with a pistol took several people hostage in the medical center.  The whole campus was locked down and a SWAT team brought in.  A sniper ended up shooting the man through a window, and he died shortly thereafter from the wound.

Not a good way to start off the year - needless to say, our parents were all a little freaked out.

Dave

Man, I'm getting old.  In 1978 I was attending Northern Michigan Univ off the shores of Lake Superior.  Aviation major with electronics minor.  The day of my first cross country flight was in February. I was on the ramp doing the pre-flight check on a Cessna 152.  The temperature was -35 degrees below zero with a light breeze, chill factor was -54 below zero.  Mind you that was an air cooled plane so heat anytime temps got down to 10 degrees above was none existant.

I went to Texas A&M.  In the 5.5 years I was there getting my BA and MAgr I don't think I even met a liberal.  A&M was and remains very conservative.  The girls wore dresses to class and even to the football games.  We sang not only the National Anthem but also Texas, Our Texas, before big events.  Many of my classmates were commissioned into the armed forces.

Oh yeah, I paid for it myself.

Honestly, my college years were outstanding.  They were part of the best years I have ever had.  This week marked the 30th anniversary of stepping onto the A&M campus and moving into a dorm.  I showed up very young and left with a wife, a son,  two degrees, close friends, and many great memories.  

As a member of a campus conservative group, I was confronted by a member of a black militant group while in the student union building.

We were toe-to-toe, and yelling at each other,calling out EVERY racial epithet in the book, and some not.

As I was a very muscular guy, he looked me over, told me to wait, left, and reappeared with two black football players. "Now what were you calling me?" he said with a smile.

Again I repeated ALL the epithets. They just looked at each other with disbelief.

I stood there, ready. They made some excuse that they had classes to go to, and left.

My white friends had done a michael moore on me and were long gone at the first onset of trouble.

I went out I found me some REAL friends.

I was a victim of identity theft in my junior year back in 1983.  Someone used my social security number and address (but a different name) to obtain a student loan. A couple of months into the semester I received a payment schedule book from Citibank, with payment coupons for something like $150/month for five years. It took 2 years to clear it up. I finally had to have my dad write nasty, threatening letters saying he would sue if they didn't stop harassing me (he was a lawyer).

Tagged.

Had an annoying neighbor who used to always leave the door to my roomate's & my own bathroom locked(one bathroom for every two rooms). Well that started with some heckling by a few other people that were hanging out.  They also gave us ideas for pranks. We put toothpaste on the doorknob back to his room, makes it real slippery and will make you fall if your not expecting it.

And I dunno if I was too drunk or what. But in the middle of the every one vs him fued. I went into the bathroom to take a piss. And somehow decided I'd rather leave a trap for him. -Pissed right in front of his door. Sometime shortly after, he answered a nighttime nature call..and I heard him mumble "Oh son of a bitch" or something similiar...the pounding on the door and swearing I was expecting next never happened. He never confronted anyone about it either.

I'm just a nerd.  I've never done anything crazy in college.  I've only missed two classes in six semesters, and those were accidental.  Drinking, playing jokes and staying up all night makes it difficult to study and stay awake for class.

Quoted: I was a photographer for the Daily Commie at UCBerkeley. On duty when BAMN (By Any Means Necessary) was holding it's "rally" in support of Affirmative Action. Turns out they bused in a bunch of Oakland high schoolers to bolster their numbers. Well, Oaklanders will be Oaklanders and the little scumbags start rioting, then breaking store windows and looting. I got great photos of all of them in the act. I should have gone straight to the cops, but I mistakenly took the film back to the office to get them developed. The editor looks at the photos, says "we can't publish these. They make BAMN look bad." Then I asked for them so I could at least take them to the cops. She promptly shredded the negs.

Ha ha ha. Thats great.

Thats the bitch of journalism, the teach them young how to become supporters of commies, liberals and such.

I had many many a run in with my EIC over pics and what should and shouldn;t be run in the paper. That bitch got me in all sorts of trouble one day after the fire system in one of the dorms went nuts and flooded a bunch of rooms. I got permission from somone to use the pics they took, but was asked not use any of the pics with her or her roommate in them. I agreed. After I was done addig the pics to the layout(I should add I left after that as it was midnight and we were done with the pagination of that issue) early for a change so a bunch of us went to the bar) my bitch EIC decided that the pics with the girls in them would be better and changed the pics. That started a shit storm the next day. I got a couple of really pissed off phone calls from those two girls. Had a couple talks with our advisor and the dean about it, and almost lost my job(staff got paid)I actually showed them the hard copies of what was suposed to be on the page for the paper that day. and that was the only way I could get them to see I didn't lie to them.

Twords the end I got really dismayed at a lot of the shit that was going on and it just took over my whole attitude. Totaly turned me off to journalism, everything went down hill from there as i knew I didn't want to go into journalism but didn't know WTF I wanted to do after that.

Had some fun though in that time. Scooped the urinal sentinal on a couple good stories. Got to go to some NCAA tournies, got to witness some cool school history as far as sports goes. The biggest regret was not staying around for one more semester. If I would have I would have been able to cover all the stuff that happened in Milwaukee durring the presidential election, including an interview/pic session with GWB and Al Gore. But I didn't stick it out one more semester so it is only what could ahve been not what was. One of these days I'll figure out just what the fuck I want to do and take my ass back to college.

Mine would have to be getting arrested after the Georgia-Auburn game a few years back.  Spent the night in the Opelika County jail, which wasn't too bad except I had no idea where I had parked the day before.  The bail bondsman gave me a ride, but we spent thirty minutes riding around the Auburn campus before we found my truck.  Well, it was cheaper than staying in a hotel!  I have to say, the Auburn fans were pretty nice after we had beaten them.  They were even buying us drinks at one of the bars (which led to my arrest - Auburn LEO's don't like for you to be too drunk in public).  

My second freshman yearhooting. He looked like he took a crap in his pants.

Well, seeing as I still am in college, I don't have many, but here are a couple of good ones. . .

Last year I lived on the third floor.  Every Friday night the same guy would come and try to get into my room at 3 am drunk. (He lived on the 4th floor, same room just straight up)  Anyway, after 3 or 4 weeks of this, I stayed up with a maglite, and a squirt gun full of water.  Sure enough, at 3 am this guy shows up trying to unlock the door and cursing and hollering to his room mate to let him in.  I open the door, shine the light in his face and yelled "Freeze! Police!".  This made him get sober fast, and he took off running down the hall, tripping over every trashcan on the way.  I chased him with the squirt gun till he got to the stairwell.  Never had a problem with him after that.

Another time I went to the range with a couple of my buddies from the Rifle Pistol club.  I had 'borrowed' some spoons from the cafateria to use as targets, and after plinking at a bunch with a .308 I decided to try something bigger.  One of the other guys had brought an AR-50 and some ammo, and I decided to try and hit a dinner spoon with it at 225 yards.  Well, this is the result:

Anyway, over the next couple days I returned the spoons with the .308 holes to the cafeteria, and for the rest of the semester I was able to find 2 or 3 that were washed and put out for use.    

Quoted: My second freshman year I went shooting with my little brother and friends. We were living in the dorms and needed to clean our guns. As such we were going to take them up to our dorm room for cleaning. Storing guns in the dorms is a big no-no. 3 or 4 of us walked through the lobbby with hands full of firepower and got in the elevator. Instead of going up to the fourth floor the elevator detoured to the basement and my friend poked at the #4 button with the muzzle of our shotgun. Just as he was brining it up the doors opened and you shold have seen the face on some kid with an ice cream. He looked like he took a crap in his pants.

Now thats funny.

No more?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  

BTT

Hi all,
I have a horror story.  

My first year at University I was in a large, all male residence.  The first week was hell week, inititiaion that lasted until hell night.  The week was not too bad, lots of running around in underwear and doing degrading things and begin yelled at.

For hell night, we were all in our underwear on the floor in a large room.  They covered us in mustard, catsup, corn syrup, flour, sugar, and the some moron got out motor oil.  I had my hair really short and when he poured the motor oil on my head it came right down my forhead, through my eyebrows, and into my eyes.  We were covered in gunk and had to have our hands on the guys ass next too us, but pretty soon my eyes were really burning.   I am a pilot, so I was pretty concerned about my eyesight.

After a bit I just left the room and went to wash the oil off.  I showered and washed as best I could, when I looked in the mirror, there was no white left in my eyes, only blood read.  Pretty freakly looking, even if it was really blurry.  I ened up going to the hospital and getting an ointment and patches for my eyes for 2 days.  Not a great start to the school year.

One other stupid human trick on my part.  We had a phone booth/closet on each floor.  I wanted to use the phone and the guy in there had been on it for ages, so I start banging on the door.  On my third or fourth hit, dont I put my hand through the glass.  My hand is all cut to hell but the guy in the booth ends up with glass in his eye, dont I feel like a piece of shit.  We go to the hospital and I wont let them look at my hand until my buddy is looked after and ready to go.  He was ok, with only a small scrape on the eyeball, it did not effect his long term vision.  I ended up with a bunch of stitches.

Moral of the stories:  Think before you act.

Dez

Quoted: Quoted: The one I remember best  .... $28,000 in student loans I have $85,000.  Shut your pie hole.

Preach it brotha.  I wasn't going to say shit, but I took out more than the original poster just for this year.

One night in the dorms, I got terribly inebriated on Tequila mixed with sugar and lemon extract. Also was depressed/angry over a hot, yet psycho female I was formerly interested in.

Anyway I was walking down the hall bonking my head on the wall, when I got to an exit door with a window in it. When my head got stuck in the window, it was a good thing I was drunk or it might have hurt.

My room mate, who was sober enough to mix the drinks came and pried me out of the window and got me to the hospital, where I recieved stitches in two different locations on my head. I had not realized how much head wounds bleed until that night. I kepth the bloody towel that my roommate wrapped around my head to keep blood from getting everywhere. (Wife made me get rid of it a couple of years later).

Later, I got a bill for $0.77 for dorm damages, along with everybody in the dorm, it seems I had alot of friends who kept quiet about whose head went through the window.

Well, there was the Computer Ethics professor that claimed to be under surveillance by the RCMP Security Service....

No more?!?!?!?!

I got BJs from to chicks at the same time!!!  

Not really a horror story though.

I once had this asshole professor, who was Dutch or Danish or something (all those damn foreigners look the same to me) ...




... oh wait, that's me !  

I had a drunk sorority girl, dressed only in her nighty, accidentally open my door and climb into bed with me.  She was looking for the sorority boy next door, but she was too drunk to find her way.  I got her the fuck out of there ASAP.

Quoted: I was a photographer for the Daily Commie at UCBerkeley. On duty when BAMN (By Any Means Necessary) was holding it's "rally" in support of Affirmative Action. Turns out they bused in a bunch of Oakland high schoolers to bolster their numbers. Well, Oaklanders will be Oaklanders and the little scumbags start rioting, then breaking store windows and looting. I got great photos of all of them in the act. I should have gone straight to the cops, but I mistakenly took the film back to the office to get them developed. The editor looks at the photos, says "we can't publish these. They make BAMN look bad." Then I asked for them so I could at least take them to the cops. She promptly shredded the negs.

could have have took them in and had her arrested for destroying evidence as well as convictions for the people in the photos.

I personaly would be policing with an assault rifle if there was any rioting or looting going on just because it'd be fun.

Quoted: I got accused of being a libertarian librarian in my polysci class last thursday,  because I actually knew the correct definition of the term 'federalism'. I have a feeling its going to be a long semester...

There, fixed it for ya

I broke three ribs when some chick opened her car door as I was biking by.  I ended up totaling her car because it would cost more to fix the door and frame than the car cost.  Police said it was her fault

drew

College.......
Brought home 900 5.56 blanks from a RTC exercise, my roommate and I had a running gunfight for about two hours with an AR and a Mini-third roomie piled all his furniture in front of his door and hid in his closet.
Used to torture the hiding roomie-put Nair in his shampoo, we would lower a guy from the roof to knock on his window and then quickly pull him up-this drove him nuts. Run the lawnmower at three A.M. outside his window.
We had a friend who used to come over, drink our beer, and fall asleep on our couch. One day my roommate ties a rope to this guys feet, runs it upsstairs and out the window, then tied it to the bumper of his 1973 SuperBeetle. Dragged the guy halfway up the stairs-he looked like the dog in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.....
We used to have fights with bamboo swords up on the roof, at all hours of the night. Luckily no one fell off, the battles would range over the whole roof area.

In another house we were cutting up the split rail fence with a couple of axes for a little back yard fire pit we dug. Neighbor comes home, quickly escorts wife and kiddy inside while giving us a funny look. Turns out it was his fence. Oops.

Had a roomate who was a "born again catholic". One day he came home, my rommate and I are praying like Moslems, with AKs at the end of our prayer rugs. He almost vapor locked.

The born again guy gave his skank girlfriend a key to our house, which pissed us off. Especially after they drank all of our beer one night. So in addition to pissing into the bottle of rum in his room, we reversed the lock set on his bedroom door-you know the kind that only locks on one side? We were sitting there watching tv when she walks in like she owns the place and goes into his room, firmly shutting the door. We turned up the volume so we could only just hear her screaming, pleading, and pounding on the door. She finally had to disassemble the lock to  get out.

Another roommate took off for two months, not paying his rent but leaving all of his stuff. We put it out on the lawn with a "Free stuff" sign. We gave away his car, too.

First day of history class Prof says "Just to let you know where I'm coming from, I am a Marxist."
I went out and bought every t-shirt with a cool saying i could find-kill a commie for Mommy, Nuke'em til they glow and shoot them in the dark, I'd rather be killing Communists, etc. and wore them to his class the rest of the semester, sitting front row center.
Running into him 8 years later i started taunting him about losing the Cold War. Stupid fuck was still a Marxist.

had a teacher telling the class who poor old Che guevera was hunted down and killed by Green Berets-you could hear her contempt as she said it. i jumped up and yelled "YEAH! One for the good guys!". She tried to have me ejected from her class, but failed.

The leftist group on campus (URI Students for Social Change-we caled them the socialists for Soviet Control) were having a "Divest from South Africa" rally. So we had a "Divest from the USSR" rally. Had the news there and everyhting, chained ourselves to the Admnin building...I had a quarter page pic of me playing tug of war with a dog using a Russkie flag I made.

My friend was being harassed by a Black South African Communist. During one confrontation (their last) the guy told my friend "You are a racist and a terrorist"-of which he is neither. My friend grabs the guy by the throat and says "No I am not. Now get your N----- Ass out of here or I'll kill your whole fuckin' family".

that's only a few....it's a wonder we survived.

There I was yesterday surrounded by girls in low hip hugger pants and tops.

I am still horrified.

Oh, how I wish it could get more horrific.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: The one I remember best  .... $28,000 in student loans I have $85,000.  Shut your pie hole. Preach it brotha.  I wasn't going to say shit, but I took out more than the original poster just for this year.

Yeah ...... but that $28K was back in 1979 and I had good scholarship !