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Posted: 5/30/2001 5:12:17 PM EDT
Can anyone hook me up with girl advice.  I never get any girls and I don't really look ugly I just need some tips.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:20:25 PM EDT
[#1]
Rule #1: Don't try too hard.  Just be available and open to opportunities.  If you make it too easy for them they won't care.  But, at the same time don't do the friend rout.  Automatic loser.  You have enough friends, let em know that.

Do stuff.  You will actually meet a lot of women when you get out and do stuff.

Be a normal human being.  I have a lot of friends that can't get a date because they just turn into goofs around women.  They must know that you don't care about them, though you might be interested.  People go after the things that retreat from them.  I think that is from the Tao of Steve movie.

Actually rent that. Should help.

Good luck.

BTW, looks don't matter.  Lots of hot chicks with ugly dudes.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:23:28 PM EDT
[#2]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:24:27 PM EDT
[#3]
Sensitivity. Chicks dig sensitive guys. Oh, and guys with porsches.

I have neither.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:25:45 PM EDT
[#4]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:28:29 PM EDT
[#5]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:28:52 PM EDT
[#6]
Excellent lets keep the advice coming guys!
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:29:23 PM EDT
[#7]
No!

Rule #1:

[size=5]TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, AND...

DON'T TELL GIRLS THAT YOU HANG OUT ON AN INTERNET GUN SITE, ASKING MIDDLE AGED MEN FOR LOVE ADVICE!

Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:30:17 PM EDT
[#8]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:33:23 PM EDT
[#9]
They're like a bus...............
Another one will be by in ten minutes.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:34:58 PM EDT
[#10]
ALCOHOL ALCOHOL ALCOHOL


If that doesn't work tell em your gay.They will be on you like stink on sh$%
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:36:11 PM EDT
[#11]
Good advice from Garand Shooter!!
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:09 PM EDT
[#12]
Lie.  Lie your ass off.  
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:28 PM EDT
[#13]
You should talk to Imbrog|io, he is wise in the ways of women :)
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:36 PM EDT
[#14]
The "Three B's" work for me.

1. Be funny. Women like to laugh.
2. Be Interested. Women like to be noticed.
3. Be gone. Women, like cats, love the chase.


Follow these and a female is in your future.
Act desperate and you'll never get any.

Sad but true.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:47 PM EDT
[#15]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:40:00 PM EDT
[#16]
I like the 3 b's idea!
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:43:51 PM EDT
[#17]
Ask Imbroglio!!! [;)]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:47:31 PM EDT
[#18]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:49:33 PM EDT
[#19]
What is Imbroglio's email?
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:50:33 PM EDT
[#20]
ALL good advice! Major Murphy, how you say it...you keel me!

JBR, chicks dig dorky looking guys who read alot and ignore the "----" out of them!  [:D]  not kidding!
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:53:22 PM EDT
[#21]
1) Rent them by the hour, they are cheaper that way.
2) Find the ugliest girl in the bar and tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world. This works because women appreciate honesty.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 5:53:33 PM EDT
[#22]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:05:11 PM EDT
[#23]
Take a massage (sp?) therapy class! There should be plenty of "study partners", if you dont hook up in the class, them skills will be of extreme value.

If you get good at it, and give them a little tease of a good quick rub to lure them in. Then the low scented candle light, soothing, relaxing music, pleasing smells of the lotions will be a nice catalyst to a fun night. You gotta get the right scent for the girl though. I spent a half an hour trying to choose a proper scent for my girl at Bath & Body Works tonight!

"Can I help you?", "yeah, could you take your shirt off, lay down, and let me rub ya down to see if this any good?" All she did was giggle.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:21:12 PM EDT
[#24]
Look a girl straight in the eye when you talk to them.
Dress sharp.
Learn how to give a sincere compliment.  Do so. Occasionally.  Make it count.
When you find an interested girl, learn [b]her[/b] interests.
When you have her on a date, do some planning, invest some effort.  Make her feel special.
When you touch her, DO NOT grab for the crotch.  Caress her [b]neck[/b], arm, shoulder, ect.  Keep it non-threatening.  If she is interested, it will progress.  Make a note, the neck never fails!
If you can't be good, be carefull!
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:41:14 PM EDT
[#25]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:41:25 PM EDT
[#26]
Major Murphy is on the right track, he only forgot to include the porno sites we all go to after going to the gun sites.  They go hand in hand.  

Totally agree with taking a class in something interesting.  I am in grad school and there are a lot of successful women (code for $$) there who complain about dating.  Don't take a self help class, there is a reasaon they are there!!

Good Luck and just be yourself.

[;D]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:44:38 PM EDT
[#27]
Women are turned on in exactly opposite ways than a man.
A man is turned on by 3 things
1. what he sees
2. what he touches
3. what he hears
A woman is turned on by the same 3 things in opposite order
1.what she hears
2.what she touches
3.What she sees
Keep this in mind. Also don't do all the talking. Let her talk about herself.
If you catch a woman using my advise I disclaim any liability for your future misery.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:52:15 PM EDT
[#28]
JBR - What exactly is your goal?  Girlfriend, wife, score, threesomes???

If you goal is to score, you must lie, lie, lie.  Lie like a used car salesman. (and don't use your real name - use a nickname).  Lay on the BS thick like maple syrup, and tell them how super great they are.  You must be goal oriented, and everything you say or do must be to obtain the objective.  Never fall for them and keep your eyes on the prize.  (It also helps to have a really cool car.)

If you want a girlfriend, ignore my above advice and be yourself.  Do some activities that involve women, and have a good time.  If you are having a good time, they will like you.  When a gal lets you know she's interested, be open to it.  Just don't try to close the deal to fast.  Patients my son.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:53:23 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
Rule #1: Don't try too hard.  Just be available and open to opportunities.  If you make it too easy for them they won't care.  But, at the same time don't do the friend rout.  Automatic loser.  You have enough friends, let em know that.

Do stuff.  You will actually meet a lot of women when you get out and do stuff.

Be a normal human being.  I have a lot of friends that can't get a date because they just turn into goofs around women.  They must know that you don't care about them, though you might be interested.  People go after the things that retreat from them.  I think that is from the Tao of Steve movie.

Actually rent that. Should help.

Good luck.

BTW, looks don't matter.  Lots of hot chicks with ugly dudes.
View Quote


The Tao of Steve is a great flick!  Lots of good tips about "women" in that movie.  That guy Donal Logue in it was not the best lookin guy in his neighborhood but he definatly had the lines, and had pu$$y coming out the ying- yang. [:)>]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 6:55:14 PM EDT
[#30]
Remember this; A woman can sense a lack of confidence. Be very confident and sure of your self. Ask as many women out as you can. If you get rejected, just shrug it off and ask again.
Ask them questions about themselves, women love to talk about themselves, be ready for the "my last boyfriend" bit. Just keep your eye on the poonany and nod and agree. Once you get in, make it count for her. If she likes it she will tell her friends and you just went way up in the cocksman dept.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 7:00:35 PM EDT
[#31]
Looking like Treetop won't hurt your chances any...[}:D]

ch

edited cuz i can't do them smileys so good...
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 7:06:40 PM EDT
[#32]
I read somewhere that NY has the highest ratio of single (and eligable) women than any other state in the union.  I've been there and can attest that they are plentiful and friendly.  Heed as much of the advice here as you can.  Most of it is very good and keep trying. [):)]  
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 10:29:12 PM EDT
[#33]
Yes, self-confident but not arrogant.

Also, lower your standards.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 10:38:17 PM EDT
[#34]
Ya, but how in the hell do I overcome the genetically encoded hatred women have for me?
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 10:44:46 PM EDT
[#35]
Originally Posted By Imbrog|io:
Ya, but how in the hell do I overcome the genetically encoded hatred women have for me?
View Quote


Marajuana, mmmkay?  Drugs are bad, mmmkay.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 10:47:10 PM EDT
[#36]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 10:52:25 PM EDT
[#37]
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 11:23:25 PM EDT
[#38]
My advice would be find a girl you get along with, become really great friends with her... then run the idea of a relationship by her... trust me, it might take a while, but you will have someone you love, not just someone that fulfills your desires (there is a difference)

I have had the best of luck with this method, most girls worth a damn DO like nice guys... if they don't, they will be in the sack with one of your friends so fast, its not funny.... and your stuck with what amounts to an episode of jerry springer...

if you just want sex, go to Nevada and pay for it....

if you want a relationship... it takes work.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 11:30:25 PM EDT
[#39]
Imbro - To overcome the hatred you are getting from women, you must first defeat the enemy within.  To break a brick, you must first believe that you can.  Visualize your hand striking the brick, and the brick shattering.  Then, punch through the brick.  Visualize yourself asking the girl out on a date, and then her saying "yes".  It is not that complicated.  

Expect to have a bloody hand on the first few bricks, but don't just give up. And don't expect to get a date the first dozen tries. You don't expect to hit a 1000yd target on your first ever trip to the range.  To be successful at anything, you have to practice.  It is best to practice on supermodels, because you can't expect to get a date.  Once you are hitting paper, the 100yd target will seem easy.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 11:34:50 PM EDT
[#40]
One word:  "mickies"
She won't know what hit her.
Link Posted: 5/30/2001 11:47:30 PM EDT
[#41]
When you come home from work, take off your shirt that you wore but leave the same white t-shirt you wore under your clothes on.  That is what you will wear with a pair of plain Rustler jeans for the rest of the evening.  If you dress up, you will look pitifully desperate.  Eat your dinner in your white t-shirt and Rustler jeans.  If you spill a little, don't worry.  (I said a little, not the whole plate.)  Go to a bar and have a good time.  They will come to you.  Talk to them like a friend.  Don't rush things, but around bar closing time, offer to take her to an all night cafe.  Do not go home with her or take her home unless she insists.  Ask if she will meet you in the same place in the same bar the following evening.  At the close of the second evening, ask for her phone number.  If you try too hard, every woman within 50 miles will know and you won't even get to talk to one!  [:I]
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 12:54:24 AM EDT
[#42]
First you get the money,
then you get the power,
then you get the women.

Tony Montana, Scarface

It's all a money game, and the older women get the greater their interest in finance.  You see fat ugly dudes all the time with fine women, and the money is the reason.  Their ultimate goal is to find someone to pay the bills for the rest of their life while they do whatever they want to do and you do whatever they want you to do.  Never let them think you don't have 10 other women just waiting to do whatever you want, because then they have to compete.  Once they know there is no competition you've had it.  

My advice is to enjoy your life first, pursue your interests, as they can be around for a lifetime whereas a woman more than likely won't be.  Especially if they can get half your life's savings and future earnings without having to even deal with you.
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 2:22:06 AM EDT
[#43]
Women dig Babies.  If you have a close relative with a young pup, baby sit if you know how.  When my first was  born I took him everywhere with me, friggin women magnent, came from all directions, of course they were interested in the boy, but that gets their attention.
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 2:23:58 AM EDT
[#44]
Major Murphy, I LMAO at that post.
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 2:59:36 AM EDT
[#45]
Thanks guy you all hooked me up with good advice now all I have to do is put it to the test! [;)]
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 4:15:55 AM EDT
[#46]
I think the NRA needs to send out a survey to all the members asking them if they are as desperate as some of the people on here!!!!  I sure hope it's not because we like guns.

But threads like this are funny as hell.
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 5:33:12 AM EDT
[#47]
As a wise man once told me: "No matter how hot a woman is, some other guy is getting sick of putting up with her $hit."

Good luck, grasshopper.

FMCDH
Semper Fidelis
Jarhead out.

----------------
"If winning isn't everything then why do we keep score?"
--Vince Lombardi
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 6:06:01 AM EDT
[#48]
I've always found that doing pull ups helps.


I pull up in a Porsche or pull up in a Vette.
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 6:23:20 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
Yes, self-confident but not arrogant.

View Quote


Self confidence is EXTREMELY important, but what mattja said above cannot be emphasized enough.  Good luck!
Link Posted: 5/31/2001 6:30:12 AM EDT
[#50]
Tequila......the more the better!
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