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Posted: 5/30/2001 5:12:17 PM EDT

Can anyone hook me up with girl advice. I never get any girls and I don't really look ugly I just need some tips.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:20:25 PM EDT

[#1]

Rule #1: Don't try too hard. Just be available and open to opportunities. If you make it too easy for them they won't care. But, at the same time don't do the friend rout. Automatic loser. You have enough friends, let em know that.

Do stuff. You will actually meet a lot of women when you get out and do stuff.

Be a normal human being. I have a lot of friends that can't get a date because they just turn into goofs around women. They must know that you don't care about them, though you might be interested. People go after the things that retreat from them. I think that is from the Tao of Steve movie.

Actually rent that. Should help.

Good luck.

BTW, looks don't matter. Lots of hot chicks with ugly dudes.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:23:28 PM EDT

[#2]

Be honest, and be yourself, a good chick will come along...

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:24:27 PM EDT

[#3]

Sensitivity. Chicks dig sensitive guys. Oh, and guys with porsches.

I have neither.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:25:45 PM EDT

[#4]

A few wine coolers couldn't hurt....

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:28:29 PM EDT

[#5]

I have found that a good technique is to strike up a short coversation (say you go to the the bar next to where she is sitting to get a drink) then when it gets interesting say something like "well, maybe I will see you around" or something non-commital to break off the conversation. So many women are used to being the ones who break off converstions in those situations that she will fell you are a challenge to get and come after you in a few minutes.

If you are just looking for a booty call, here are the signs of an easy woman:

Tattos
Smoking
Driving a flashy car
Drinking brown liquor (JD, Crown, etc)
Piercings other than the ears

The easiest women are those with low self-esteem... they will jump in bed in a hurry and do anything you want em too.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:28:52 PM EDT

[#6]

Excellent lets keep the advice coming guys!

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:29:23 PM EDT

[#7]

No!

Rule #1:

[size=5]TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, AND...

DON'T TELL GIRLS THAT YOU HANG OUT ON AN INTERNET GUN SITE, ASKING MIDDLE AGED MEN FOR LOVE ADVICE!

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:30:17 PM EDT

[#8]

Oh, and go out with a bunch of female friends..men with women look more attractive to other women.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:33:23 PM EDT

[#9]

They're like a bus...............
Another one will be by in ten minutes.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:34:58 PM EDT

[#10]

ALCOHOL ALCOHOL ALCOHOL

If that doesn't work tell em your gay.They will be on you like stink on sh$%

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:36:11 PM EDT

[#11]

Good advice from Garand Shooter!!

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:09 PM EDT

[#12]

Lie. Lie your ass off.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:28 PM EDT

[#13]

You should talk to Imbrog|io, he is wise in the ways of women :)

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:36 PM EDT

[#14]

The "Three B's" work for me.

1. Be funny. Women like to laugh.
2. Be Interested. Women like to be noticed.
3. Be gone. Women, like cats, love the chase.

Follow these and a female is in your future.
Act desperate and you'll never get any.

Sad but true.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:37:47 PM EDT

[#15]

Just post your credit report (if it's any good) with your phone # on it at the Grocery store. HAHAHAHAHA

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:40:00 PM EDT

[#16]

I like the 3 b's idea!

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:43:51 PM EDT

[#17]

Ask Imbroglio!!! [;)]

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:47:31 PM EDT

[#18]

3 B's is too funny, and too true!

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:49:33 PM EDT

[#19]

What is Imbroglio's email?

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:50:33 PM EDT

[#20]

ALL good advice! Major Murphy, how you say it...you keel me!

JBR, chicks dig dorky looking guys who read alot and ignore the "----" out of them! [:D] not kidding!

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:53:22 PM EDT

[#21]

1) Rent them by the hour, they are cheaper that way.
2) Find the ugliest girl in the bar and tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world. This works because women appreciate honesty.

Posted: 5/30/2001 5:53:33 PM EDT

[#22]

Dress well. Smile. Learn the art of conversation. Fine activities that get you involved with females.

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:05:11 PM EDT

[#23]

Take a massage (sp?) therapy class! There should be plenty of "study partners", if you dont hook up in the class, them skills will be of extreme value.

If you get good at it, and give them a little tease of a good quick rub to lure them in. Then the low scented candle light, soothing, relaxing music, pleasing smells of the lotions will be a nice catalyst to a fun night. You gotta get the right scent for the girl though. I spent a half an hour trying to choose a proper scent for my girl at Bath & Body Works tonight!

"Can I help you?", "yeah, could you take your shirt off, lay down, and let me rub ya down to see if this any good?" All she did was giggle.

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:21:12 PM EDT

[#24]

Look a girl straight in the eye when you talk to them.
Dress sharp.
Learn how to give a sincere compliment. Do so. Occasionally. Make it count.
When you find an interested girl, learn [b]her[/b] interests.
When you have her on a date, do some planning, invest some effort. Make her feel special.
When you touch her, DO NOT grab for the crotch. Caress her [b]neck[/b], arm, shoulder, ect. Keep it non-threatening. If she is interested, it will progress. Make a note, the neck never fails!
If you can't be good, be carefull!

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:41:14 PM EDT

[#25]

Women want SUCCESSFUL men. They aren't so interested in WHAT you do, just that you're very good at it. Successful people have a confident (but NOT arrogant) attitude that is VERY attractive to women.

Women also want men who make an effort with the way they look, dress, and keep their car/home. It isn't necessary to obsess about any of these things, but make sure you are on the neat side. Wear clothing one notch above what is average for wherever you are. Shave well, brush your teeth, and have a fresh haircut (even if your hair is long, it can be neat).

You have to GET OUT of the house, and go somewhere, ANYWHERE, that girls will be if you hope to meet any. But do NOT expect to meet someone you can have a serious relationship with at a bar or dance club. Most chicks who hang out at these places are head-cases. You might get laid (or not), but the rest of the time won't be much fun. The BEST place to meet someone is when you're doing something you are interested in anyway. This could be someone you meet in the course of your work (but NOT a direct coworker), your hobby, or whatever.

Act a bit more mature than you usually do. You can still be funny, but avoid being crude or obnoxious. Look and act as if you have your S together.

All of this stuff requires some work, and may be things you don't really like to do. But these are the things that consistantly work in finding QUALITY relationships.

If you're just looking to "hook up", find a head-case, boink her, and be on your way, fast.

-Troy

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:41:25 PM EDT

[#26]

Major Murphy is on the right track, he only forgot to include the porno sites we all go to after going to the gun sites. They go hand in hand.

Totally agree with taking a class in something interesting. I am in grad school and there are a lot of successful women (code for $$) there who complain about dating. Don't take a self help class, there is a reasaon they are there!!

Good Luck and just be yourself.

[;D]

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:44:38 PM EDT

[#27]

Women are turned on in exactly opposite ways than a man.
A man is turned on by 3 things
1. what he sees
2. what he touches
3. what he hears
A woman is turned on by the same 3 things in opposite order
1.what she hears
2.what she touches
3.What she sees
Keep this in mind. Also don't do all the talking. Let her talk about herself.
If you catch a woman using my advise I disclaim any liability for your future misery.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:52:15 PM EDT

[#28]

JBR - What exactly is your goal? Girlfriend, wife, score, threesomes???

If you goal is to score, you must lie, lie, lie. Lie like a used car salesman. (and don't use your real name - use a nickname). Lay on the BS thick like maple syrup, and tell them how super great they are. You must be goal oriented, and everything you say or do must be to obtain the objective. Never fall for them and keep your eyes on the prize. (It also helps to have a really cool car.)

If you want a girlfriend, ignore my above advice and be yourself. Do some activities that involve women, and have a good time. If you are having a good time, they will like you. When a gal lets you know she's interested, be open to it. Just don't try to close the deal to fast. Patients my son.

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:53:23 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Rule #1: Don't try too hard. Just be available and open to opportunities. If you make it too easy for them they won't care. But, at the same time don't do the friend rout. Automatic loser. You have enough friends, let em know that.

Do stuff. You will actually meet a lot of women when you get out and do stuff.

Be a normal human being. I have a lot of friends that can't get a date because they just turn into goofs around women. They must know that you don't care about them, though you might be interested. People go after the things that retreat from them. I think that is from the Tao of Steve movie.

Actually rent that. Should help.

Good luck.

BTW, looks don't matter. Lots of hot chicks with ugly dudes.

View Quote

The Tao of Steve is a great flick! Lots of good tips about "women" in that movie. That guy Donal Logue in it was not the best lookin guy in his neighborhood but he definatly had the lines, and had pu$$y coming out the ying- yang. [:)>]

Posted: 5/30/2001 6:55:14 PM EDT

[#30]

Remember this; A woman can sense a lack of confidence. Be very confident and sure of your self. Ask as many women out as you can. If you get rejected, just shrug it off and ask again.
Ask them questions about themselves, women love to talk about themselves, be ready for the "my last boyfriend" bit. Just keep your eye on the poonany and nod and agree. Once you get in, make it count for her. If she likes it she will tell her friends and you just went way up in the cocksman dept.

Posted: 5/30/2001 7:00:35 PM EDT

[#31]

Looking like Treetop won't hurt your chances any...[}:D]

ch

edited cuz i can't do them smileys so good...

Posted: 5/30/2001 7:06:40 PM EDT

[#32]

I read somewhere that NY has the highest ratio of single (and eligable) women than any other state in the union. I've been there and can attest that they are plentiful and friendly. Heed as much of the advice here as you can. Most of it is very good and keep trying. [):)]

Posted: 5/30/2001 10:29:12 PM EDT

[#33]

Yes, self-confident but not arrogant.

Also, lower your standards.

Posted: 5/30/2001 10:38:17 PM EDT

[#34]

Ya, but how in the hell do I overcome the genetically encoded hatred women have for me?

Posted: 5/30/2001 10:44:46 PM EDT

[#35]

Originally Posted By Imbrog|io:
Ya, but how in the hell do I overcome the genetically encoded hatred women have for me?

View Quote

Marajuana, mmmkay? Drugs are bad, mmmkay.

Posted: 5/30/2001 10:47:10 PM EDT

[#36]

Here's the real secret:

PRETEND TO BE GAY!

Of course it means you'll have to dress well, be meticulate about your appearance, be fit and slim, be sensitive, etc. Remember, you're just pretending - so don't have anal sex with men. That's pretending too hard. [:D]

Seriously. A straight friend of mine is cursed to have people think he is gay because he has so many of the above behaviors. I have never known a guy to have so many and so attractive female friends who want to spend time with him. When I visited him a couple of days ago three women called who wanted to go with him to a yoga class he signed up for (the only reason he signed up was to meet the really hot instructor).

Once you find a nice one out af all the hordes of hot women that want to hang with you, then let her know that you are becoming unsure about your sexuality and that you think you may not really be gay. Maybe she could be THE ONE who could "bring you back" - surely a woman can't resist that kind of challenge.

Posted: 5/30/2001 10:52:25 PM EDT

[#37]

Here's another diabolical plan that's easier and quicker than pretending to be gay.

Borrow a cute dog from a friend. Got to a dog park and it can be pretty easy to meet young women. You'll have something in common, you can strike up conversations about the dogs, etc. After "running into each other" a couple of times, you can invite her over to your place.

When she notices the dog is not there (because you don't really own one) then you tell her it just died the day before!! (Hint: yank out a nosehair if you can't fake manly tears)

Even if you don't get a relationship out of this diabolical plan, you'll probably get a pity-"sleep-over" from her.

Posted: 5/30/2001 11:23:25 PM EDT

[#38]

My advice would be find a girl you get along with, become really great friends with her... then run the idea of a relationship by her... trust me, it might take a while, but you will have someone you love, not just someone that fulfills your desires (there is a difference)

I have had the best of luck with this method, most girls worth a damn DO like nice guys... if they don't, they will be in the sack with one of your friends so fast, its not funny.... and your stuck with what amounts to an episode of jerry springer...

if you just want sex, go to Nevada and pay for it....

if you want a relationship... it takes work.

Posted: 5/30/2001 11:30:25 PM EDT

[#39]

Imbro - To overcome the hatred you are getting from women, you must first defeat the enemy within. To break a brick, you must first believe that you can. Visualize your hand striking the brick, and the brick shattering. Then, punch through the brick. Visualize yourself asking the girl out on a date, and then her saying "yes". It is not that complicated.

Expect to have a bloody hand on the first few bricks, but don't just give up. And don't expect to get a date the first dozen tries. You don't expect to hit a 1000yd target on your first ever trip to the range. To be successful at anything, you have to practice. It is best to practice on supermodels, because you can't expect to get a date. Once you are hitting paper, the 100yd target will seem easy.

Posted: 5/30/2001 11:34:50 PM EDT

[#40]

One word: "mickies"
She won't know what hit her.

Posted: 5/30/2001 11:47:30 PM EDT

[#41]

When you come home from work, take off your shirt that you wore but leave the same white t-shirt you wore under your clothes on. That is what you will wear with a pair of plain Rustler jeans for the rest of the evening. If you dress up, you will look pitifully desperate. Eat your dinner in your white t-shirt and Rustler jeans. If you spill a little, don't worry. (I said a little, not the whole plate.) Go to a bar and have a good time. They will come to you. Talk to them like a friend. Don't rush things, but around bar closing time, offer to take her to an all night cafe. Do not go home with her or take her home unless she insists. Ask if she will meet you in the same place in the same bar the following evening. At the close of the second evening, ask for her phone number. If you try too hard, every woman within 50 miles will know and you won't even get to talk to one! [:I]

Posted: 5/31/2001 12:54:24 AM EDT

[#42]

First you get the money,
then you get the power,
then you get the women.

Tony Montana, Scarface

It's all a money game, and the older women get the greater their interest in finance. You see fat ugly dudes all the time with fine women, and the money is the reason. Their ultimate goal is to find someone to pay the bills for the rest of their life while they do whatever they want to do and you do whatever they want you to do. Never let them think you don't have 10 other women just waiting to do whatever you want, because then they have to compete. Once they know there is no competition you've had it.

My advice is to enjoy your life first, pursue your interests, as they can be around for a lifetime whereas a woman more than likely won't be. Especially if they can get half your life's savings and future earnings without having to even deal with you.

Posted: 5/31/2001 2:22:06 AM EDT

[#43]

Women dig Babies. If you have a close relative with a young pup, baby sit if you know how. When my first was born I took him everywhere with me, friggin women magnent, came from all directions, of course they were interested in the boy, but that gets their attention.

Posted: 5/31/2001 2:23:58 AM EDT

[#44]

Major Murphy, I LMAO at that post.

Posted: 5/31/2001 2:59:36 AM EDT

[#45]

Thanks guy you all hooked me up with good advice now all I have to do is put it to the test! [;)]

Posted: 5/31/2001 4:15:55 AM EDT

[#46]

I think the NRA needs to send out a survey to all the members asking them if they are as desperate as some of the people on here!!!! I sure hope it's not because we like guns.

But threads like this are funny as hell.

Posted: 5/31/2001 5:33:12 AM EDT

[#47]

As a wise man once told me: "No matter how hot a woman is, some other guy is getting sick of putting up with her $hit."

Good luck, grasshopper.

FMCDH
Semper Fidelis
Jarhead out.

----------------
"If winning isn't everything then why do we keep score?"
--Vince Lombardi