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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:46:41 PM EDT
[#1]
Married almost 27 years.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:48:36 PM EDT
[#2]
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Married almost 27 years. Nope, I was always looking for a long term. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:49:23 PM EDT
[#3]
No thanks
I'm happily married and lonely old people make me sad. Relationships are like money, the better strategy is long term investment. Day trading is thrilling, but high risk. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:49:46 PM EDT
[#4]
I agree, and have reluctantly come to that conclusion finally @ 56 having chased that dream for many decades.
Never married. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:50:44 PM EDT
[#5]
That shit is for the animals.
There can be only ONE! She has been there through the tough times and the good. Stuck it out when others would run. Said hell yea, where others would have said hell no. ONE - just one good one is all I will ever need and I am grateful to have found her. Thank you God. 33 awesome years. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:51:20 PM EDT
[#6]
much happier in a long term marriage than short term fling.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:56:00 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Married almost 27 years. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:57:06 PM EDT
[#8]
I think that younger (beginning) relationships should not be considered serious in nature, say 12-20.
As we get older we should have an idea of what we want out of our ideal partner for a lasting relationship. Seriousness of relationship should also increase to the point you may have found your spouse. The level of intimacy should also increase in this age. Sex too young is truly harmful to humans. Ages 20-30 Everything after this point = potential for a serious relationship as our clocks are literally ticking. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:57:50 PM EDT
[#9]
Why not have both?
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:58:18 PM EDT
[#10]
Very few things are more satisfying than knowing you got a good woman who's got your back no matter what.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:59:07 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No thanks I'm happily married and lonely old people make me sad. Relationships are like money, the better strategy is long term investment. Day trading is thrilling, but high risk. This! Now if I could only keep from spending my $ like its water |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 2:59:10 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Married almost 27 years. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:01:21 PM EDT
[#13]
Probably not, as a species we are wired to pair off most of the time, makes raising offspring easier (and safer).
A few other species also mate for life, we evolved that way for a reason, so we are kind of hard wired for it. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:01:30 PM EDT
[#14]
35 here, they're as serious as you make them
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:01:52 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Married almost 27 years. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:03:05 PM EDT
[#16]
Mine always have been. Though I'm going on close to 8 years with the same girl and the one before her was almost a 9 year relationship. So I'm getting better I guess as I get older. It's just a matter of time before any woman gets sick of my shit.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:03:15 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think that younger (beginning) relationships should not be considered serious in nature, say 12-20. As we get older we should have an idea of what we want out of our ideal partner for a lasting relationship. Seriousness of relationship should also increase to the point you may have found your spouse. The level of intimacy should also increase in this age. Sex too young is truly harmful to humans. Ages 20-30 Everything after this point = potential for a serious relationship as our clocks are literally ticking. It's why the "good women" that everyone harps on about are usually already gone by their 20's, their mates have seen the value in them and done what they could to hang on to them. Countless stories like that, I'm one of them, I've been with my wife since I was 15. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:04:37 PM EDT
[#18]
Please clarify, is the relationship transient, or just the romantic part?
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:05:21 PM EDT
[#19]
23 years until she turned into a raging fucking Whore.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:09:02 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Probably not, as a species we are wired to pair off most of the time, makes raising offspring easier (and safer). A few other species also mate for life, we evolved that way for a reason, so we are kind of hard wired for it. That, and the way-off-to-the-side branch of this argument (that I was firmly on for a little while) that says women are always looking to trade up and men are always looking to spread their seed to as many receivers as possible. My problem is that my life experience tells me that the entire cultural concept that prevails in the U.S. today (that of dedicated long term relationships, long term but not life long relationships are somehow a waste/bad/not as fulfilling, denial of the existence of fading interest in the other person, etc.) is a collective charade. It feels like we've deluded ourselves into believing the current formula for how relationships work is the best (or at least the least imperfect) solution available. I just have trouble seeing it. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:10:45 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Please clarify, is the relationship transient, or just the romantic part? |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:11:10 PM EDT
[#22]
Every romantic relationship ends in tragedy eventually, one way or another. There is no escape, so make the most of it while you can.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:11:53 PM EDT
[#23]
I knew a philosopher who worked as a manager of a used car lot.
He was a fountain of human observations that he would spit out from time to time. " There is a seat from every ass and an ass for every seat, you just have to be able to see the deal." Used cars are a great analogy for people. Everything from junk to a reliable classic. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:13:19 PM EDT
[#24]
I wanted commitment when I was young.
Found it. Married 29 years. No commitment is waste of time. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:13:58 PM EDT
[#25]
I enjoy the long term shared experiences.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:14:54 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I guess my issue is this clashes with the fact that the initial intensity/passion tends to fade dramatically for both people as the relationship progresses and the evidence of sperm competition in humans. That, and the way-off-to-the-side branch of this argument (that I was firmly on for a little while) that says women are always looking to trade up and men are always looking to spread their seed to as many receivers as possible. My problem is that my life experience tells me that the entire cultural concept that prevails in the U.S. today (that of dedicated long term relationships, long term but not life long relationships are somehow a waste/bad/not as fulfilling, denial of the existence of fading interest in the other person, etc.) is a collective charade. It feels like we've deluded ourselves into believing the current formula for how relationships work is the best (or at least the least imperfect) solution available. I just have trouble seeing it. I really am sorry that the people around you failed to show you what a good, healthy marriage looks like. But that doesn't mean they are unicorns or are a lie. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:14:58 PM EDT
[#27]
Life without my Little Pony is no life at all.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:15:32 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I guess my issue is this clashes with the fact that the initial intensity/passion tends to fade dramatically for both people as the relationship progresses and the evidence of sperm competition in humans. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:16:40 PM EDT
[#29]
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Every romantic relationship ends in tragedy eventually, one way or another. There is no escape, so make the most of it while you can. Remove the expectation of everlasting love/life together and this should, in theory, greatly reduce such breakup induced tragedy and anguish. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:16:48 PM EDT
[#30]
On a long enough timeline, everything is temporary
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:17:21 PM EDT
[#31]
Married 32.
The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:18:42 PM EDT
[#32]
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:19:11 PM EDT
[#33]
Keep chipping away at that family structure.
After you do, make sure you bitch about single parent incomes and welfare, the schools raising your children and turning them into liberals, and the following generations not being able to cope with mental issues. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:20:25 PM EDT
[#34]
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Different perspectives are scary, yo. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:22:29 PM EDT
[#35]
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No they're not, wrong isn't scary, it's just wrong. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:25:40 PM EDT
[#36]
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Every romantic relationship ends in tragedy eventually, one way or another. There is no escape, so make the most of it while you can. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:27:02 PM EDT
[#37]
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Says the guy who made up a straw man to argue against. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. Explain to me why I should be scared of your opinion. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:28:36 PM EDT
[#38]
22 years married
30 years together Blessed. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:31:45 PM EDT
[#39]
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My point with this being it doesn't have to end in tragedy... Your relationship WILL end in tragedy. So make the most of it while you can. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:32:06 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My point with this being it doesn't have to end in tragedy. My observation is that relationships end in tragedy almost always because people expected something to last that couldn't possibly last. This expectation brings with it a myriad of unhealthy problems - questioning what's wrong with you and/or the other person when the relationship ends, the crushing thought that "the one" (the concept of the "one" being nonsense anyway) might have slipped away, anger/resentment at the other person for making you put up with a broken relationship before it ended, etc. Remove the expectation of everlasting love/life together and this should, in theory, greatly reduce such breakup induced tragedy and anguish. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:32:41 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No thanks I'm happily married and lonely old people make me sad. Relationships are like money, the better strategy is long term investment. Day trading is thrilling, but high risk. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:32:48 PM EDT
[#42]
For the majority I am gonna have to go with yes.
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:34:41 PM EDT
[#43]
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Says the guy projecting fear of different opinions while objecting to different opinions. Explain to me why I should be scared of your opinion. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. Explain to me why I should be scared of your opinion. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:34:44 PM EDT
[#44]
Married 27 years, together for 30, this time.
We dated in jr. high, and again in high school, then 5 years without seeing or hearing from each other. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:35:34 PM EDT
[#45]
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Even if the two of you are deliriously happy every single day together, eventually one of you is going to die. Your relationship WILL end in tragedy. So make the most of it while you can. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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My point with this being it doesn't have to end in tragedy... Your relationship WILL end in tragedy. So make the most of it while you can. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:39:27 PM EDT
[#46]
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I think you're mistaking infatuation with love. One is transient, the other isn't. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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My point with this being it doesn't have to end in tragedy. My observation is that relationships end in tragedy almost always because people expected something to last that couldn't possibly last. This expectation brings with it a myriad of unhealthy problems - questioning what's wrong with you and/or the other person when the relationship ends, the crushing thought that "the one" (the concept of the "one" being nonsense anyway) might have slipped away, anger/resentment at the other person for making you put up with a broken relationship before it ended, etc. Remove the expectation of everlasting love/life together and this should, in theory, greatly reduce such breakup induced tragedy and anguish. I grant this may be personal bias speaking. My life experience (mixed with some evolutionary psychology) has told me nothing other than that everlasting love does not exist and that human relationships are by nature transient unless both parties make a truly active, overt, dedicated effort otherwise and that this is generally a minority outcome. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:40:29 PM EDT
[#47]
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You constructed two straw man arguments, two arguments I never presented or argued for, stating those are the "only" reasons for "slinging that garbage". Your hostility towards my position and presentation of not just one but two pure straw man arguments suggests you have a deeper issue with my position than you're letting on. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. Explain to me why I should be scared of your opinion. Just like I'm not buying what you are selling, you don't have to buy what I'm selling. Pretty clear you didn't come here for different perspective, you came here for confirmation of your bias, and you aren't getting it. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:45:19 PM EDT
[#48]
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LOL, comes to GD for "curmudgeonly perspective", gets curmudgeonly perspective and vagina becomes swollen and sand filled when curmudgeonly perspective hits too close to home. Just like I'm not buying what you are selling, you don't have to buy what I'm selling. Pretty clear you didn't come here for different perspective, you came here for confirmation of your bias, and you aren't getting it. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. Explain to me why I should be scared of your opinion. Just like I'm not buying what you are selling, you don't have to buy what I'm selling. Pretty clear you didn't come here for different perspective, you came here for confirmation of your bias, and you aren't getting it. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:45:29 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No, I don't believe I am. I believe love itself (at least the level of love required to hold a relationship together for life) is indeed transient. I grant this may be personal bias speaking. My life experience (mixed with some evolutionary psychology) has told me nothing other than that everlasting love does not exist and that human relationships are by nature transient unless both parties make a truly active, overt, dedicated effort otherwise and that this is generally a minority outcome. |
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Posted: 10/14/2019 3:51:32 PM EDT
[#50]
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Ok sure. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Married 32. The only people slinging that garbage is people trying to explain away their own inadequacy or with an agenda to undermine normal heterosexual relationships. Not buying what you're selling, thanks though. Explain to me why I should be scared of your opinion. Just like I'm not buying what you are selling, you don't have to buy what I'm selling. Pretty clear you didn't come here for different perspective, you came here for confirmation of your bias, and you aren't getting it. What's the longest relationship you've been in? |
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