I often wonder about people I see with a healthy income and/or nice things....
Just how much of that did you earn, and how much was a result of a given?
I know people with nice houses, and it turns out their relatives gave them large sums of money as downpayments.  Folks with nice cars, and it turns out the car was a graduation present (I'm talking Lexus here).  I know people that own their own business, and currently make good money, but come to find out their parents gave them $100k startup money.

So, how much or little financial help have your parents or relatives or others given you?  Let's assume starting at 18, as most (yes, I know, not all) were at least supported up to that point.

In my case, my parents paid my tuition for my first 4 years of college through a thing we have in Florida called the Florida Prepaid Tuition Program.  This allowed them to be socking away a little money over 10+ years instead of over 4.  It also locked in the tuition rate at the level it was when they started paying.  They also helped out with rent & utilities for the first 2 years.  Other than that it was jobs & student loans that got me through undergrad & grad school.  Maybe that's why it took 8 years.....

I have been in spots when I was in school, after they stopped helping, where I could probably have gone begging to them to get me out of tight spots, but instead I went without, or worked more, or sold something.  Had I not gone to college, they would have cashed out the Prepaid fund, and I would have been on my own from the day after highschool graduation.

So, how about you?

Moved out from home at age 18 with just the clothes on my back and haven't taken a dime from my parents since.

Tj

Did it 99% on my own.

Paid college tuition scraping everything I had including rolls of quarters.

Work, personal loans - my loans, no co-signers.

Still paying for college for the wife and I.

Houses, cars, etc...  all us.

We lost out - neither of our families help us.  Our siblings get help, but not us.

My Mom let me live at home for two years while  I was paying my own way through technical school after high school. As soon as I got my first "real" job, I moved out. The rest is all the work of my wife and myself.

However, I hope to be able to pay for 4 years of college for each of my children. Had my father lived, I'm sure he would have provided college for my sisters and me.

Moved out at 20. Everything that my wife and I have is a result of our hardwork and determination. BobK

Don't forget about other windfalls too -


Lottery win

Inheritance

Trust Funds

Accident/Insurance payouts

My Mom gave me a ride to the Recruiter's office when I turned 18.

After that, my Uncle Sam let me live with him for three years. He gave me free room and board, cool clothes, and let me play with his guns and other toys. He even gave me a big allowance each month that I could sock away. All I had to do was stay ready to kill people and break their shit if he asked me to. After that, he even paid for my education.

Seriously, everything we have is the direct result of hard work by my wife and me. But... it was my parents who taught me to work. I owe them everything.

I was poor kid from a poor family and have been working since I was 15.  I had to pay for my own car and insurance, a good portion of my clothes and any incidentals or entertainment.  I got drafted at 19, but was able to later use the GI Bill for part of my college education.  The rest my wife and I paid for.  Our first home was a no-down VA loan and without it we would have had difficulty ever owning a home.  The wife's parents paid for part of her college education, although she still needed several loans to get through.  Her parents did not have the money for cars, insurance, or helping their kids get their first home.  We paid off the wife's college loans after we were married.  The short version is that we made it through hard work and our own initiative and are proud of it.

I've paid for my own houses, cars and college tuition.

I have never asked for a single penny from family.

I bought my first house when I barely turned 21.I believe that move has allowed me to have the freedom I have to do whatever the hell I wanna do.

I look back now and making the choice between working vs. schooling was the best decision I have ever made.

Hey, I'm a 35 yr old sophmore...WooHoo!

Made my own way for the most part.  Getting ready to move out of the house.  Parents paid for food and housing during out of school months.

I paid for college, I bought my truck. I paid for dorms during college.

Had $12,000 in credit card debt out of college.  Parents lent me $10,000 to pay it off. They offered so I would not have to pay interest on the cards. I'm paying them off $400 a month.

So I guess tecnically they chipped in, but they are getting their money back.

Good points all.  I would expect that inheritance & trust funds though would come under family help.  I thought about lottery, but wasn't sure if we'd actually have any big winners here.

My dad paid for school and helped me buy my Porsche.  I made good grades though. [:)]

Went to college on scholarship for four years. Worked two jobs during college. My parents let me move back home at no cost during medical school. No rent, but I was gone most of the time anyway. I took out loans to pay for med school. I distinctly remember on multiple occasions seeing less than $20 in checking with two weeks left in the semester and weighing the pros and cons of going out for a beer. Started med school with six guitars and three amps among other equipment. Sold all but one guitar by the time I was done.

I probably could have asked my parents for money, but I never wanted to. It was my goal, my life and my problem, not theirs. I'm not sure they had the means to substantially pay for any of it anyway.

I owe it all to Mom and Dad.  They gave me good genes, good attitude, a  work ethic, and a place to live/eat/learn until I finished tech  school.

I DID pay my tech school tuition and earned everything else myself.  But I still think I owe it all to them.

 Stay at parents' home when I was in college (1/2 hr away).  Matter of fact, 4 of their 6 children attended university at the same time (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th yr), used one car to commute.  
 Went to OPT school in Kali for another 4 yrs, borrowed about 70K for those 4 yrs.  My parents didn't help much because I didn't want them to--too much financial strain on them.
 Got out and work until present, paid all student loans in 7 yrs.
 The credit to what I have now goes to my parents.  Cool and great parents--my parents.

Wife and I worked for it all. House is almost paid for, it's not much, but I don't want to be a slave to a lavish home and a perpetual mortgage payment. Sure, our parents have given us very modest cash gifts at Christmas from time to time, but no large amounts.

The only thing I have accepted from my upper-upper middle class parents:

A $9000 loan for a downpayment on a house, payable in increments of $200/month with a simple interest rate of 3.5%.

A job interview with a friend of my dad's, a Controller with a gov't contractor.  Got the job.  He left to become a CFO at another company.  His controller at my current company recruited me over.

Which is how I got the things I have today.

I got an intangible "thing".

When I first bought my house I took a PT job because I thought it was going to be too much.....turned out OK.

I never simply take from my parents.  There is always an agreement in place for a payback.

However, I am an only child and thus everything they have is mine.  I am on the deed to all 4 of their houses.  Titled on their cars, etc.

While they are alive it is not mine though.

-My Dad died when I was 13. I am the oldest of 5.
-At 17 I joined the Marines. Worked nights as a bouncer in a local "roadhouse" type place to have money to live off base.
-Factory work for a year afterwards to save up some money to start college.
-State College. Worked my ass off and graduated Magna Cum Laude in Microbiology and chemistry
-worked at Mayo Clinic for 4 years while starting a family. Wife stayed home with the kids and I wasn't making shit.
-Medschool
-residency
-practice now for 6 years.

Just paid off my medschool loans 2 years ago(110K) and the .gov gets more of my income than I do. My life is good but I do NOT consider myself to be a "rich doctor". I guess I could've been a surgeon instead of a family practice doc. That was my choice.

Yeah, I'd say I made my own way.

edited to add: My wife has been a tremendous asset to me through it all.

Sounds like you were born with a silver d-ck in your mouth.[:D]  I went into the Army at 18.  I paid for my undergraduate and graduate degrees, housing and for my vehicles.  If I had to do it over I would not change a thing.  Everything I have I earned.

Yes, I made my own way.

Paid my own way through college, and grad school.  Bought my first and second house with no financial help from either parent.

I worked second or third shift while carrying a full and part-time load at college.  I didn't graduate until I was 29.  Grad school at 32.

I have worked very hard for everything I have, and I appreciate it more because of it.

I hope to help my kids through college.  Looking back, I wish I had been able to go away to college.  I probably would have done worse, grade-wise, though.

As I believe the Temptations said, All my Daddy ever left me was alone...

I paid my way through college by joining the National Guard and working part time jobs. I then spent 2 years in the Peace Corps. When I got home, I realized I had no real marketable skills except some computer ones, and bought a few pcs, networked them together and learned. That has allowed me to move from temp jobs paying $8-14/hr up to my current salary level, which is in the high 70s. I'm now a senior systems professional at a fortune 100, and since the nature of my work is not subject to being shipped overseas and/or outsourced, I am doing pretty well. I also married well, even though my wife came to the US 10 yrs ago with $10 and no english, she is now a degreed and licensed health care professional (mri/xray) and does very well since she has a really good work ethic. The house we bought 3 years ago, while it needs kitchen, bathroom and cosmetic upgrades, is a nice old brick farmhouse on 7.5 acres here in CT, in a town where the average lot size is 1/2 acre. It's zoned into 3 lots, so we have money in the bank if we ever need to sell off part of it. We're also doing much of the work ourselves, getting that sweat equity [;D]. If we complete the work on the house in the next few years, we will have more than doubled the value of the home. The best part is that my wife works in a field that's high demand, so even if I get laid off, we can get by if I get a job making half or less of what I'm currently earning. So we're doing pretty well! [:D]

here's the house, I really like it.

[img]http://users.ntplx.net/~cduarte/home.jpg[/img]


ps, my father did give me his beater '89 mazda pickup, when he realized that he could have me pay the registration, taxes, insurance and repairs and still have a pickup to use when he really needs it.

[img]http://users.ntplx.net/~cduarte/by2.jpg[/img]

My dad passed away when I was 8.  I got very little guidance on the future while growing up.  I tried enilsting at age 20 and was turned down for knee problems.
 The rest has been the school of hard knocks.  I am living in a house I built with my own hands on 7 acres in a very picturesque setting.  Mrs Ops and I got it all the hard way.  Ops

That's very true. I grew up in a very affluent town in Connecticut, and saw many trust fund kiddies blow money, crash cars and generally fuck up their lives. My parents, while very well educated (both parents have multiple master, my father even having one from the Sorbonne), were teachers and didn't make much money, with my mother staying home and not working as she brought up four children.

I would agree but add that easy money does spoil those who receive it and fail to instill some important character traits.
When I graduated medschool I knew 3 members of my class who got houses for graduataion presents! Many, many got cars, trucks etc.
I took my extended family, who were able to attend, out for dinner and got a few modest gifts. No complaint(my wife says it is good because we don't have to feel like we owe anybody anything) but it was an interesting contrast.

trust me....I earned it!

Sgtar15

Everything I have I got it by myself. My house and 3 vehicles are paid for. I left home when I was 18 and have never asked my parents for a dime.

I borrowed $400 from my Aunt and Uncle to help cover vehicle repairs one time, and paid it all back 3 weeks later.

Other then that, it's been me just applying the lessons learned in the school of hard knocks and 15+ years of service on active duty.

Life is good!

My wife and I are both self-made (with the Grace of God). Both of us are from way-less-than-wealthy homes, mine was broken and we got along barely, and she was one of 6 kids and got along barely.

She began working in the lending business at 18 and worked her way up to Executive-Vice President with a healthy discretionary portfolio. After a couple of management positions with area lenders, she was ready for a change. Did I mention that as a single mother, she went back to college and completed two BA degrees? Yeah, she is the real deal!

I ended up in New Mexico working for a Ford Dealership as a sales manager and then as an F&I Manager. After Margie and I met and were married, I went to work for her at a mortgage brokerage she was managing in order to learn the ropes.

After a year or so, we struck out on our own and began our own business. We began in our living room, in a corner on a couple of folding tables. We initially had one computer, one phone line, and a combo fax and copier. We were putting groceries on credit cards and even had to sell by Baby, a cherry frame off restored 1972 CJ5 with a 3" lift and a tricked out 318. After a couple of years, we were able to move to an upstairs bedroom and then to a purpose built 300 square foot office added to the back of the house.

Business is great, we have built on a niche market specializing in FHA loans. These are tough loans for a broker to learn but are great for the customer so we are looking good.(God willing) So far we have not been enticed to chase the refi-booms that hapen every couple of years. Many Loan Officers in the business will go after the quick buck of refinancing everyone they know at super low rates, but after that pool is empty or if rates go back up, that refi-boom stalls and these loan officers then starve. So far we have been fortunate in concentrating on sales, not temporary 'booms'.

Self-made you ask? Nope, I am the creation of my God, molded by my parents, strengthened by my experiences, toughened by failure, completed by my wife and loved by my son. I am pretty far away from self-made, but I did not get the type of help you are talking about.

And, at age 10, the urge to jump out of airplanes...[;)]

Whoops, almost forgot...[BD]

Everything I possess, every good thing that I am, including, my very LIFE, is by the Grace of God, (My LOVING Father), and the Blood of His Son, Jesus Christ...[0:)]



[snoopy]

Sounds like you don't know what the fuck you are talking about.
My parents were smart, and they wanted to provide for their children.  We were by no means rich.  I make more today after only 3 years in my profession than either of my parents after a lifetime.  And that is entirely thanks to them.
In my neighborhood, I watched all the other kid's families, and thought at the time I was getting shafted.  No VCRs, no cable TV, ni microwave, we kept the windows open instead of turning on the airconditioning, built fires instead of turning on the heat, etc.  My parents had crappy cars, nobody simply handed me a car when I was 16, no fashion label clothes etc.  We weren't dirt poor by any means.

My parents were smart about what they chose to do with their limited funds/resources, and I am very thankful for it.  I don't miss all the luxury items that they went without, because thanks to them I now have a good job and I can afford to buy them for myself.

And if you think that all college is is tuition and a roof over your head, it's clear you have never been.  I got a bachelor's degree in architectural design.  Each semester I spent 12 hour days at school, and built at least two models that cost over $200 each, and went through untold other materials like paper, pens, and supplies for other models.  They don't just hand you a diploma in exchange for your check, despite what many on this board seem to think.  There's a weeding out process after the second year and if your work isn't up to snuff, no amount of money is going to allow you to carry on (trust me on this, I saw kid's try to file lawsuits over it).

So yes, I was damn lucky to have parents that actually cared enough about my brother and I to "short us" on the things we wanted as kids, and instead invest that money in something worthwhile.

Ditto!! In fact, I bought the clothes and car  I left with.

Charlie Daniels said it best for me:

I ain’t askin’ nobody for nothin’
‘f I can’t get it on my own.
‘f you don’t like the way I’m livin’,
You just leave this long-haired country boy alone.

This wins [b]Post of the Day[/b] Award.

By the Grace of God, my parents paid most of my way through my first bachelor's degree (I had a few thousand $$ remaining on my college bill after graduation that I paid for) and I paid my way through my second bachelor's degree. Paid cash for everything I ever purchased up until my wife and I bought our house.

Started my own business in '99 and thank the Lord, it's been great since.

My family didn't have much growing up, so everything my wife and I have came without help. I'm damn proud of it.


Somebody should ask this same question over on DU. I wonder what percentage of people with that mentality could honestly claim they are self made. I'd venture to say 90% of them received/continue to receive SSI/welfare/disability/whatever or are trust fund kids.

American protestants seem to think making it on your own from scratch is a point of pride that their children should not be denied.  I guess that's true.  But the Chinese and Jewish way of giving your kid every possible bit of advantage to ensure their success makes a LOT more sense to me.

cduarte,

Nice house, but, uhh, whats all that white  crap in the yard?  ???

My parents and grandparents "helped me out", but I wish they wouldn't have.  Mom died when I was 16, Dad when I was 21.  My grandfather died when I was 22 and grandmother when I was 27.  

I'd rather have the people than the inheritance.

Earned every dime myself.  Uncle Sam paid for about half of my college, and I paid the other half. The main lessons my parents tought me were how NOT to handle money.  Next time around, I'm going to be born rich, or at least comfortable.

Now I have to figure out how to raise my kids so that they can effectivly use whatever help I can give them, without turning into lazy-useless cokewhores.

Its funny that this topic came up.

I worked hard for everything I have, and not so hard for some other things I really don't "need."

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I didn't have much of a choice growing up whether I wanted mommy and daddy to buy it, or find a way to get it on my own.  I worked many jobs, paid my way through school, and even went to a different college for my first two years just because it would be cheaper.  

I bought my first car when I was in high school and spent many a day fiddling with it so that it would run right.  Not to mention the other things I did for money, and charity.  

Now my sister, she's the one that got spoiled.  She went to the college she wanted to go to, and when her loans wouldn't cover it all my parents did.  When she wanted transportation my parents gave her their old car.  Since my folks are back on their feet now I'm happy for them.  My sister expects things from them, I am just glad that they were there in a supportive role for me.  

I guess I could say that I'm a little angry that I had to work twice as hard as she did to get anywhere while she was provided with mostly all of what she wanted.  Its been that way for a long time and actually caused problems in my family.  Needless to say I am getting over it an appreciating what I had to do more than what she has ever done.

quit high school at 17, went to see our uncle gave him 5 years of my life to play with his helicopters and see different parts of the world.got my ged and work at a plastic company making 7.35 a hr running extrusion lines moved to another company to run a different type of extrussion.then work my way up to low 40's in the maintenance dept!
and everything I have I got on my own even the screw ups finically,I paid for my screw up myself.no help from my family or my wife's.
yeah i may live in a trailer but 3 years everything is paid for and im moving up to them there doublewides.
[b]Not[/b] I will be buying a real house.want a old farm house!

I grew up in a good middle class home with both a father and a mother.  I left, put myself through college with a combination of a small academic scholarship, part time and full time jobs and student loans.  I'm probably the only guy in America who paid back his student loans.  It took eight years, but I did it myself.  That was all a long time ago.  My now elderly father passed away a couple of years ago.  In one of our last conversations he told me that he regretted not paying for my college education.  I told him thanks for all that he had done for me, but that I was a better man for paying for my own education and making my own way.  That's how I still feel.  Watch-Six

As some have mentioned, mom and dad gave me some of the hardest lessons in life - that hard word isn't anything to be ashamed of, that there are somethings that simply the doing is sufficient reward, and, while it took a while to sink in, pay cash for as much as you can, and save for nearly all the rest (the only thing worth going into debt for is the house)

After that, it was my option to accept help with the first 4 years of college, provided I did them all right out of HS, and did them all in 4-5 years.   I screwed up on that on, and dropped out after the first.  After that, I payed for some college and for tech school, but they let me live at home without paying room and board.

If I needed a loan, I could ask, but there were no guarantees that they'd lend me the money.

After tech college, I worked a number of jobs, married, had a kid (who starts college next month!).  Worked my way from an "instructor" at Radio Shack, to a 6 figure programming job - amazing 'cause I never did get my degree.

Of course, the IT bubble burst, and I have been out now for 2 years.  It has given me a lot of time to think about things, and I think that some of the reason I "made" it was because I felt the need to prove to dad that I could.  Looking back I can see that after he passed I sorta coasted along for nearly 1 year, then, what around here we call "The Accident" happened (see [url]www.jhasz.com[/url] for details) and I had to prove to myself a few things.

Out of this came a settlement, that we used for a down payment on a house (and I got a few toys with), and we've been paying the mortgage with the balance since the UC ran out about a year ago.  Fortunately, the wife works, and that helps, but I [b]have[/b] to get back to work or she's going to strangle me in my sleep one night, or I'm going to wind up in the loony bin.  I am just not the same guy when I'm outta work and it actually drives us both batty [;)]

Of course, I wouldn't be where I am today without the counsel of my dad, and my Father, nor would I be able to even think about Mom and Dad without the knowledge I have through faith in Christ of the resurrection.

This next year, I'm going to get things back on track, and then - look out!

Worked through college, grad & post grad.  At college though, it was selling recycled computer paper and not the job (computer operator) that really got me through.

Well, I must be the spoiled brat out of the group!  My dad was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in '89 (I was 8 at the time) and medically discharged from the Air Force in 1993 after serving 18 and a half years.  After MANY trips to San Antonio he was given a 100% disability rating.  This plays a big role later on....

At 16 I was given a '94 Honda Civic and my parents paid the insurance.  I got my first job as a lifeguard at 17 and have been employed ever since. I moved out 2 and a half months after graduating from high school into an apartment by myself.  My parents paid $250 a month (they said they would pay for dorm rent or give me the money each month).  


Due to my dad's 100% rating my college was paid for by the state (you).  And I was paid between $580-$700 a month by the federal government (you) to go to school.  However, I did work 30-35 hours during all four years in college.  

My fiance (at the time) and I bought our first house in April 2003 at 21 years old.  My dad gave us $4000 as a wedding gift to use for our honeymoon but he hinted that we could use it for other things. So we used it as a down payment on our first house. Our honeymoon (a week in Colorado) cost us about $1000 that we saved on our own.  

I graduated from college in May, got married in June (my wife is an MRI/X-ray tech) and we have been paying off our credit cards and student loans ever since.  

We are definately on our own now!!!!

03Mav

My parents gave me everything that's important... life and LOVE. They worked hard to put clothes on me, food in me, and a roof over my head. They could not afford college for me or my siblings. That was not their responsibility. I did not go to Mexico on spring break. And I did not leave town for my "honeymoom". None of that really matters to me. I wouldn't trade my mom and dad for ANYONE else's mom and dad. I work with people who's parents have given them everything, and are STILL giving them everything. And yet, they are no better off for it. Some of those same people choose for both spouses to work, when in some of their cases, one could bring home the bacon just fine. But they want all that "extra" stuff, like a cabin on the lake, fifth-wheel trailer, and new snowmobiles every single year. And then they drop their kids off at day-care every day. And then they have the nerve to tell me how I should be raising MY kids. Anyways... if your parents gave you love, then you got what was most important. Many kids don't get that much...

I was the only child of working-professional parents.  However, they were quite frugal and didn't give me anything that I didn't at least make an attempt at earning or saving for. They also strongly encouraged my grandparents and other relatives to treat me the same way.

That said, my parents paid for my college education only after I demonstrated the maturity to follow through with it, and also gave me a boot in the ass when I needed it.

Today, a frugal professional myself, I own my house and cars and carry no debt.  Thanks mom and dad, you did good.

I think it's a parent's responsibility to give your children every opportunity to succeed - not simply give them everything they want.

I went to boot camp 7 days after HS graduation. Served my 4 years, got out. Moved to California 30 days later. Got the job I still have now, and will retire from someday.  Nobody gave me a thing.

I know people who had vastly different lifestyles though. My current partner married money. His wife was given an expensive european sports car as a birthday present, and they recently inherited a couple million bucks, but have lived in her parents house the entire 4 years they have been married.