As many of you know, I am an attorney -- a litigator (aka [Alicia Silverston, Clueless]"That's the scariest type of lawyer"[/clueless). I've sent out hundreds of discovery requests. And from here on out I'll look at these evil questionaires in a whole new light.
Because now I've had to answer a set, perfectly drafted to make me insane, by the lawyer representing the
succubus in my divorce case. (Aside: What is the man's share of property during a divorce in Colorado? Answer: Whatever falls off the truck as she's driving away).
This is utter hell. I've just pulled an allnighter going through thousands of pages of documents and pecking out my answers.
Some gems: (Paraphrased here in the interest of avoiding unecessary use of lawyerese):
* Identify every single piece of personal property you owned when you got married and PROVE its yours, i.e., prove you did NOT buy it during the marriage.
* Over the last three years, detail on a weekly basis your cartaking of your minor child. And prove it, 'cause the succubus says you're lying.
* What was your net worth on the date of the marriage.
* Go dig up every health insurance, life insurance, 401K, IRA, auto insurance, loan application, or other document containing fine print that you've ever touched, looked at, signed, or read over the last 5 years and spend your evening copying the fine print onto your responses.
* Please box yourself into a corner by detailing the details of your compensation package so that we can make you an indentured servent who can never leave the occupation, even if it subsequently drives you made.
What a pain in the ASS.
My only solace is that my lawyer did the same thing to her. And if these guys are anything like most civil litigators, they'll use maybe 1 or 2 precent of this stuff at trial.
The clock's running, and I feel fine!