Mine isn't very good.

Recently, there are two I can think of:

1. In the airport before we got on the plane for Gunstock, Dale and I were getting our tickets. They handed back our IDs and boarding passes (our tickets were obtained online), and I say to Dale "Glad those fake IDs worked".

2. My friend Nick kind of made me angry. So I put a lock on my locker, then smeared peanut butter in his. I did this several times. I'm lucky he has a great sense of humor. The first time, I put a note that said "That's what you get, punk. -Black Panthers". Then I walked up to him the next day and said "So I heard the Black Panthers got you good". He just laughed. The next time I left a note that said "Black Panthers Pwns Joo!!1" Yes, that's an intentional "1". Any CS gamers will appreciate that one. I've also put mayonaise in his locker. I have about 20 packets of mayonaise on standby in case he does anything. It is working pretty well as a deterrent. I'm really lucky to have friends with such good senses of humor.

A real friend:

Your buddy is drinking pretty heavily. You realize that at this point he won't remember what happens, so you take him into the parking lot, and beat the pis out of him. The next day he calls you up. "What happened last night?"

"You fell, fucker!"

"Oh yeah, remember last month when you fell! (laughter)"

I poisoned my bosses coffee with arsenic. Unfortunately he didn't die though, only got really sick. That was funny. We were always pranking each other.
Just kidding.

I got caught the second time around but:

Friend passes out/falls asleep, friend gets nails painted bright red...friend wakes up and trys to hide it from us thinking we dont know.


I probably have something more fun then that, but it's all I can think of right now.

Well... I dont think the statute of limitations has run out yet... Get back to me in a few years.

on the teachers computer in 8th grade I changed the settings for microsoft word. I changed the auto-correct or whatever to replace the word "the" with "gay". not sure why I chose gay but it started to get funny when she went back to read what she had typed and couldnt figure it out.


she always used microsoft word BTW

I took the wires on the vertical sweep coil on a television in my dorm and swapped the wires so that the thing traced right to left instead of left to right. All the lettering was mirror backwards and my room mate though she was going crazy because I told her everything looked fine to me.

She was tripping on LSD a couple times a week and doing Qualudes every day so who knows what she really thought was happening

Quoted: on the teachers computer in 8th grade I changed the settings for microsoft word. I changed the auto-correct or whatever to replace the word "the" with "gay". not sure why I chose gay but it started to get funny when she went back to read what she had typed and couldnt figure it out. she always used microsoft word BTW

Interesting. Could you tell me how to do this?


Troll, could you explain how your joke is done? Could it be done by someone who doesn't know anything about TVs, and is it reversible without effect?

AFter reading this over I guess its not that funny to anyone but me. Oh well I'll leave it anyway.


During HS I was seeing this girl, who had a(older)boyfriend. ANyway I was at her place one afternoon and he pulled into the driveway. She freaked and I hid in the bathroom. He had brought his sister as the girl I was seeing and her were friends. You all know the sister theough, the most popular girl in the school, cheerleader etc etc. Anyway, while standing behind the curtain, in the tub, she comes in and sits on the shitter. Sounded like a cow pissing on a flat rock. I was just barely able to hold it in. They all left and I bailed. Every time I seen here after that I would just start cracking up. She thought I was a nutcase because of it. I still laugh about it to this day. If she only knew!
CH

I took a dump off a bridge once. One of my buddies was swimming in the river below. That  was funny.

Say, do you remember that guy Larry next door,
Well he always was the neighborhood clown.
Like the time he pulled by pants off
and he took those color pictures
and posted copies all over town.
Or the the time that he dumped toxic waste on my lawn
or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight till dawn.
What a crazy kid larry was, always fooling around.

Say, do you remember when I broke in Larry's house
Late at night and tied his mouth with a rag
Then I dragged him by his ankles to the middle of the forest
and stuffed him in a big plastic bag.
If the cops ever find him who knows what they'll say,
But I'm sure if ol' Lar' were still with us today
He would have to agree with me, it was a pretty good gag.

Quoted: AFter reading this over I guess its not that funny to anyone but me. Oh well I'll leave it anyway. During HS I was seeing this girl, who had a(older)boyfriend. ANyway I was at her place one afternoon and he pulled into the driveway. She freaked and I hid in the bathroom. He had brought his sister as the girl I was seeing and her were friends. You all know the sister theough, the most popular girl in the school, cheerleader etc etc. Anyway, while standing behind the curtain, in the tub, she comes in and sits on the shitter. Sounded like a cow pissing on a flat rock. I was just barely able to hold it in. They all left and I bailed. Every time I seen here after that I would just start cracking up. She thought I was a nutcase because of it. I still laugh about it to this day. If she only knew! CH

That is HILARIOUS!

You should tell her now. It's obviously long enough ago that she can't seriously harbor any feelings about it. Of course, this is all if you can easily find her.

I plead the 5th as my testimony will incriminate me.

I was at FSU..my best friend was LSU. He came to visit me in Tallahassee..I owed him a major payback for something he did to me with a stewardess the previous summer "won't go into details about that"..anyway, he comes to visit me, we hit the bars all over town. I bought him a bottle of Crown, by the end of the night he was blitzed. I had told him the story about some gays guys that lived in my apartment comlex..we made the usual fag comments and such then laughed. I was planting the seed about the gay guys...

Anyway, next morning I called in one of my frat brothers to play a prank...my best friend was in my roomates bedroom "roomate was gone" and snoring away..he had taken his clothes off to his underwear..we took his underwear off during the night and put vaseline up his crack. Anyways...my frat bro gets there and takes his clothes off NAKED, lays down beside my best friend and waits..my best friend starts to wake up..looks over and sees this guy, says "who the eff are you?" My frat bro just gets up picks up his pants and shirt and starts to walk out of the room...my best friend said "HEY! Who are you *&$%^!" Frat bro just.."thank you for the phuq..." and leaves.

I was in my room..my friend comes busting in saying "Oh, schitt, oh schitt!" I looked up all sleepy eyed and said whats up?? he says while touching his ass "Oh, schitt! One of those gay guys raped me!" I could hardly hold back the monsterous wave of laughter building.. "I said what do you mean?Lat night you told me to leave you alone things have changed.." he is now totally freaked at the vaseline creaming from his ass...runs in the other room and started yelling' God*&%$# I'm gonna kill that son of(*^%## I've been raped! I've been raped!!!"

I then started laughing soooo hard I could not help it...he then jumped on me and started beating the hell out of me...we wrestled and I told him he did not get raped...I told him I got him back. My frat bros ran in to keep my best friend off me...they started to laugh..then he started to laugh and cussed me for an hour.

To this day..we are still friends and we still get a laugh every time I mention vaseline or Crown Royal.

And yes..this is true story. You can call him if you want...

NAKED, that is one hilarious story.

Quoted: Quoted: AFter reading this over I guess its not that funny to anyone but me. Oh well I'll leave it anyway. During HS I was seeing this girl, who had a(older)boyfriend. ANyway I was at her place one afternoon and he pulled into the driveway. She freaked and I hid in the bathroom. He had brought his sister as the girl I was seeing and her were friends. You all know the sister theough, the most popular girl in the school, cheerleader etc etc. Anyway, while standing behind the curtain, in the tub, she comes in and sits on the shitter. Sounded like a cow pissing on a flat rock. I was just barely able to hold it in. They all left and I bailed. Every time I seen here after that I would just start cracking up. She thought I was a nutcase because of it. I still laugh about it to this day. If she only knew! CH That is HILARIOUS! You should tell her now. It's obviously long enough ago that she can't seriously harbor any feelings about it. Of course, this is all if you can easily find her.

SW,
Funny you would say that. I ran into here last christmas at a mall in PDX. She was working as a waitress at this cafe my wife and I went into. She reconized me and the usual "how you been?-Whatcha been doing" etc. etc. were exchanged. I had this shit eating grin on my face the whole time and I know she seen it! COuldnt help myself. I told my wife after we left who she was(She had heard the story before) and she started laughing like a fool and wanted to go back in the cafe and fuck with her. we didnt but man it was pretty comical. I think if I seen here again I would tell her though.

HS, those were the days.
CH

Naked, that is some fine payback. None of my stories hold a candle to it.

Oh - he must have done something real bad to you.

Naked_Gunman,
That is some funny shit! The soda burning the inside of my nasual passage is proof!
CH

Quoted: Naked, that is some fine payback. None of my stories hold a candle to it. Oh - he must have done something real bad to you.

Dude..if you only knew. What I did to him got me even...it was a tie to which was worse. I can still see his face as he ran into the room clinching his ass..like he got drilled or somethin'..the vaseline was dripping all down his legs...man, just the shear terror in his eyes. That could actually ruin someone today..and get a lawsuit to boot.

Here's one vote for NAKED spilling his guts about how he got his ass whipped by his buddy!

10000+ posts on ARFCOM as Imbroglio ...

C'mon, NAKED, inquiring minds want to know!

This isn't a prank - but it is something I got away with as a kid.


When I was about 13 I got away with firing a old Carl Gustav (Swedish Mauser) 6.5x55mm inside the house while my parents were out!    

It was a "deactivated" rifle - thus legal for a kid - but one that had been poorly deactivated (i.e. chamber plugged).  I was able to remove the plug - no doubt extremely illegal in the touchy-feely country of Denmark.  I was desperately curious to try it out, and I had plenty of ammo since I shot the same caliber in my rifle club.  So I set up in a really long hallway runing through the house (about 20 yards) and set up a "backstop" of about six thick phone books and six planks of wood against the door to my room.  

I took the shot, and then had to hurriedly clean up and explain to my parents where the big hole in my door came from - but managed to convince them that I was moving my big desk and had accidentally knocked into the door and caused the big hole.

in retrospect, I'm pretty lucky that (1) my neighbors didn't call the police, and (2) that the bullet didn't penetrate the door.

When I was 13-14 years old, we put 4x4 railroad ties with metal spikes across a road, under a street light, so cars would see the obstacle and slow down.

The road was lightly traveled, but the cars that did travel it were usually doing 30-40 mph.

This was too fast to hit with our eggs and assorted hand-thrown projectiles (we were stationed in the woods alng the street).

The idea was, the wood placed plainly visible in the middle of the road, would slow our target down enough we could pelt it with eggs.  We had tried hitting cars moving at normal speed, but they we were too fast and had no success.

So we lay down the ties. Here comes a car. We get ready.  The car's moving fast.  The car doesn't slow down as it approaches the ties.  Now we see, the car is a police cruiser.  The car hits the railroad ties at about 40+ mph.  The cruiser's tires blow out and it skids all over the place.  We throw our eggs anyway and run for our lives.

You guys are something, all right. Here I was thinking that the time me & my brother convinced Mom that that head was already shrunk when we found it and that it really didn't look much like the neighbor kid made a good story!

Quoted: C'mon, NAKED, inquiring minds want to know!

You mean getting my ass kicked or...what he did to catch such a bad payback?

He basically beat my chest to death with few hits to the side of my face...I was laughing so hard, I could'nt defend myself.

What he did (I did)??? No chance Wobblin...no chance. Maybe at Gunstock
or some other gathering...but not here. There's too many Milsurps and Hineline eyes watching.

Quoted: A real friend: Your buddy is drinking pretty heavily. You realize that at this point he won't remember what happens, so you take him into the parking lot, and beat the pis out of him. The next day he calls you up. "What happened last night?" "You fell, fucker!" "Oh yeah, remember last month when you fell! (laughter)"

Holy sheepshit Batman.  Just saw your screen name (Combat_Jack) and wondered if it was inspired by the book Blackhawk Down...or maybe it was Jarhead. Both great books by the way.

a word of caution, "paybacks are a motherfvcker"!!!

Quoted: Quoted: A real friend: Your buddy is drinking pretty heavily. You realize that at this point he won't remember what happens, so you take him into the parking lot, and beat the pis out of him. The next day he calls you up. "What happened last night?" "You fell, fucker!" "Oh yeah, remember last month when you fell! (laughter)" Holy sheepshit Batman.  Just saw your screen name (Combat_Jack) and wondered if it was inspired by the book Blackhawk Down...or maybe it was Jarhead. Both great books by the way.

Yep, it started as a joke, to see if anyone would mention where my name came from. You're the fourth to mention it. After Sniper_Wolfe, SteyrAUG and someone I can't remember.

Hmm,
one of the funniest things i ever did in middle school was payback to a good friend of mine.

Lets just say his name is John. Well john was quite the prankster and was the king at getting people during sleepover birthday parties. He would decorate ur face like no tomorrow. We could never catch him sleeping either. Well one time me, "John" and another friend name arthur slept over at arthurs house. We just stayed up playing super nintendo, and eventually at one point John fell asleep. I got arthurs attention and told him we have to do something!!! Something good!!
So we desperately looked around the room, for SOMETHing we can use. Our eyes finally landed on hair gel. We proceeded to slowly lift up John's shorts and his underwear, and began to squeeze half the bottle of hair gel onto his crotch area.
We started to giggle so much, it was a given John was going to wake up. Well he did, but luckily me and art resumed playing the video game. He got up, rubbed his eyes, and got up and went tot he restroom to take a piss. He came back and said "hey, you ever had that cool wet feeling when u dream about something?"
We just looked at him like we didnt know what the hell he was talking about. He then lied back down and went to sleep...

LOL oh man, me and arthur were guessing to this day he probably thought he had a wet dream or something

Quoted: Quoted: on the teachers computer in 8th grade I changed the settings for microsoft word. I changed the auto-correct or whatever to replace the word "the" with "gay". not sure why I chose gay but it started to get funny when she went back to read what she had typed and couldnt figure it out. she always used microsoft word BTW Interesting. Could you tell me how to do this? Troll, could you explain how your joke is done? Could it be done by someone who doesn't know anything about TVs, and is it reversible without effect?

it's part of the spell check, auto-correct

when you type a word wrong, the thing has a list of ways that commonly used words are mispelled and it automatically corrects your spelling.

such as:

I wakled down the street

the auto-correct would change it to:

I walked down the street

... to tell you how to do it would require at least 5 minutes of my valuable time because I dont exactly remember how, so, you can go find out on your own

I was crashing at a friend's place for a few days and he had this tiny little cat that was like a child to him. He constantly played with it, gave it lotsa junkfood and babytalkied to it; totally irritating.

Anyway, everyday I was there I took a dump in the cat's litter box which was in the bathroom anyway. Of course there's absolutely no way the cat could create this much assfish in a week, so after a coupla days my buddy mentions how he's concerned for the cats health. I lay it on about how it's probably all the junkfood; chips and chocolate just aren't good for the little sucker. He becomes very upset, paranoid that he's killin the lil' fella and actually takes a stool sample to the vet.

I made sure that was the day I left. The vet caught it in about 5min and my friend got pretty chapped. It cost him $80 or something.

(FYI, I wish I could claim to be the first, but I stole this gag from an article about George Clooney, who did something similar to an old roomate.)

Quoted: Here's one vote for NAKED spilling his guts about how he got his ass whipped by his buddy!

how he got his ass wippped, by his nakid buddy with  vasilene ozzing out of his butt crack.
and who was it that  spread it in his butt crack in the first place?

In high school a buddy and I tapped the phones and played Frank Sinatra over the office lines. They never did find the tap, we used it several times before graduation.

I was just at a friends house tonight for dinner, he brought up something that happened about ten years ago that sill cracks me up.
It was halloween night and we were on the way to a party, we stopped by a McDonalds for a quick bite. I ordered a Big Mac, when the girl set the tray down, I just started pounding the hell out of the burger. Everyone turned to see what the hell was going on. I just looked at the girl and told her I had a "Big Mac attack" then walked out.

Quoted: What he did (I did)??? No chance Wobblin...no chance. Maybe at Gunstock or some other gathering...but not here. There's too many Milsurps and Hineline eyes watching.

Awww, shucks.

Once upon a time there was a real cool senior class that knew how to party. - They planned a killer two day Toga party for weekend. The party went on as planned, but was crashed by 2 different groups.

One group just had fun by TP the cars and other minor pranks.

The Second was a teacher on his high horse, who was outraged at the decadent immoral behavioral.

The School had a Morals clause - and he tried to get 80% of the Senior class kicked out only a few weeks prior to graduation. - It took lawyers and threats of serious legal action to halt his crusade.

This is the story of some of the payback he got.

In a later year as luck would have it Halloween was also a trash night. The ever diligent teacher had just mowed all his lawns and set out the garbage. Later that night the wronged alumni came out to play.

First off - As a calling card an Empty 6 Pak of Heineken was left on his door step.

Second - 24 eggs were placed in the various windchimes such that they would fall out when enough wind came along.

Third - His Suberu wagon was in the driveway, skilled persons readily defeated the locks. The Wagon was then filled about half full with garbage from around the neighborhood. On top of the garbage 3 barrels of wet freshly cut grass was packed in until it was compressed against the roof. Then the doors were all locked again.

Finally on the porch a barricade of garbage cans was built filling the entire porch using nearly 30 barrels for around the neighborhood.

Oh yes and a single TP bow was tied on the car...

Summer Camp, 8th grade.

It was a big prank to freeze the silverware in a block of ice. Someone did this every year at camp. Well this year as soon as my best friend and I arrived we went straight to the kitchen and stole all the forks and spoons. We hid them under this salad bar thing they had set up. No one found them all week and no one had a clue who had taken them. They made announcements that they knew who did it and would send us home, but they had no idea. They finally found it the last day of camp when they moved everything to clean up.

Everyone had to eat with knives all week. Not the greatest prank, but really funny at the time and completly got away with it.

I have to admit that most of my dalliances into the world of Prankdom were while I was in college...the first time.

Here is a brief synopsis of some of the things I did or witnessed:

1. Took very fine wire and wrapped it around the prongs of an extension cord for an electric shaver. When the unsuspecting victim plugs his shaver in, he gets a little surprise.

2. Take a small plastic film cannister, put an alka-seltzer in it with a few sprinkles of water. Snap lid back on, run to someone's dorm room, open door, roll cannister in, shut door, run.

3. Take plastic wrap and wrap it tightly over a toilet bowl, underneath the seat. Unsuspecting victims think that one is shitty.

4. Shove the pointy nozzle of a mousse bottle into some unlucky dude's toothpaste. Just a dab'l do ya.

5. Ever see the look on somebody's face when they start drinking a glass of milk that you poured salt into?

6. In my dorm we had bunks. Many guys draped blankets over the bottom bunks to keep out light so they could sleep during the day. Try sneaking into someone else's bunk before they go to bed (it was easy at my college as we had a "lights-out" bell). Just as that person opens the blanket and jumps in, you jump out at him screaming. Wow. The reactions are priceless.

Back in Highschool my friend and I worked for the school radio station. One afternoon when school was not in session we really wanted to get into the radio station office for some reason. The instructor was going to be there but not for a few hours and we wanted in NOW for some stupid reason.  So I scaled the wall and climbed in the class room through a window, opened the door and let my friend in. The problem was that once inside the class room there was still a seperate room that housed the office. So I scale another wall to get acess to the crawl space/attic. I let my friend up there with me, and we start crawling around looking for a way to drop down into the office from the ceiling. We pretty much gave up and started to head out of the attic walking on the support beams. All of a sudden I turn around and my friend is dangling upper torso only visable to me half way through the roof. He had fallin through the roof right into the teachers office. The look of his upper torso and his face still cracks me up. I pulled him up, luckily he had only fallen half way though and was unharmed. But now there was a gaping hole in the ceiling right above the teachers desk not to mention all the ceiling material that was all over his office now. I looked around the attic and noticed some spare wood beams just laying there for storage. We quickly positioned one of the beams to make it look like it had randomly crashed through the roof and landed in the teachers chair. We high tailed it out of there and waited in the parking lot for the teacher to show up. Once he let us in the class room we went straight to the radio station office and acted like it was business as usual for us. About a minute later the teacher comes in "Guys! Look at what happened!!! Holy Cow, that's right where I sit!" My friend and I should've won an oscar for the pretend surprise we displayed.

Quoted: Quoted: Here's one vote for NAKED spilling his guts about how he got his ass whipped by his buddy! how he got his ass wippped, by his nakid buddy with  vasilene ozzing out of his butt crack. and who was it that  spread it in his butt crack in the first place?

 

  And just HOW and with WHAT did they spread it?

Thata nasty.

One year in highschool the principal had the superintendant and a bunch of other state big wigs at the school and as they were walkin around out front of the school I drove through the parking lot in my Firebird and did a fatty brake stand. I had a reservoir in the back full of ATF and a windshield washer pump that would pump it onto the back tires. Man it was hilarious seeing them run from the smoke...That wasn't the first time they tried to ban my car from campus either...

Too many things to really recall all of them...  My favorite was when I was about 12 years old or so???  Around Confirmation time in church, IIRC.  Well, I was standing next to the pastor after singing something in church in a group, and (we were all standing) while we were singing in front of many people, I slipped a whoopie cushion out of my jacket, and laid it on his seat behind him.  When the song was over, "you may be seated." So everyone did, including him...  

Ppppppppppphphphphphttttttttttttt!

He jumped up off the seat, and looked like he was going to die of shock!  Turned bright red with embarrassment, and EVERYBODY was laughing their asses off!!!  He shortly realized it was me, and said someday he'd prank me back!  That was my most notorious in my childhood.

In college things got a little bit more cruel.  My roommate, and his friends did the shaving cream in the hand & tickle the nose thing on me while I slept on a friday night after I got drunk and passed out.  So the next night his friends & I filled a condom with shaving cream, tied off the opening, it expanded (inflating the condom to penis size), and we put it in his mouth while he slept.  We took 24 photos of it while he slept, got double prints at a 1 hr photo, and the next day we slipped one photo of him under every door in the hallway!!!

Any more college things, and I'd have to plead the fifth, as the statute of limitations comes into play here...

A hand full of shrimp in each hub cap of another sailors car.  He washed that thing three or four times before getting down on on all fours and sniffing the wheels.

My buddy reassembling his Harley after a rebuild.  I threw three extra bolts in his hardware container.

In HS we would take someones distributor cap off and draw lines across from one plug terminal to another with a #2 pencil.  Lots of backfiring and damned hard to find.

Hoppy  

Quoted: A hand full of shrimp in each hub cap of another sailors car.  He washed that thing three or four times before getting down on on all fours and sniffing the wheels. Hoppy

Try putting 2 pounds of shrimp in a safety deposit box at the bank and then breaking 1/2 the key off in the lock.

Yeah, I got away with it.

Quoted: Try putting 2 pounds of shrimp in a safety deposit box at the bank and then breaking 1/2 the key off in the lock. Yeah, I got away with it.

1. That bank must have pissed you off.
2. Did you rent the box with specious ID?

I'm scared to tell about the only thing I ever really got away with. It was 16 years ago, but involved myself, & 2 other Marines, some giant Mexican firecrackeers.

I don't want to go to jail for a prank.

I probably already said to much. I'm going to have to move now.

Things I have gotten away with lately.

I put vinegar in a co-workers coffee, that was cool. Cant even smell the vinegar,just smells like strong coffee, tasts like crap though.

Siran wrapped the toilet at work. Graveyard pissed all over themselves. Funny.

Put vinegar in the coffee pot in our main office at work.

Put vinegar in an icecube tray at work. Someone used vinegar ice cubes in there soda.

Cut up an onion,put water in a sauce pan,boiled the onion and water. Then placed the water with the onion juice in an ice cube tray. Someone drank a soda with onion ice cubes.

Put caster oil in someones soda. They spent some time on the toilet an hour later.

Completely wrapped a co-workers vehicle with toilet paper.

Aquired the keys to a co-workers car, and moved the car to another location away from work.

Just a few things lately.

Quoted: 1. That bank must have pissed you off. 2. Did you rent the box with specious ID?

1 The bank beat me up pretty good, but I eventually prevailed. They also had to get a court order to empty the box.

2. They KNEW who I was, but I was hanging out with the editor of the local paper at the time.
The bank people KNEW that if they raised hell about it that the WHOLE story would come out and they didn't want the publicity. They dropped it.

3.BTW, a couple month later, I ran into the judge that issued the court order. She thought the whole thing was pretty funny, as SHE had once had a problem with the same bank!