This guy goes into a bar looking real depressed, and orders a
drink. As soon as it hits the bar, the man shoots it down and
orders another. The sympathetic bartender asks, "Any thing you
want to talk about?"
The depressed man replies "Well for the last couple months, I
suspected my wife was cheeting on me. So today, I took the day
off work to follow her. When I came home for lunch, I caught her
screwing my best friend."
"Wow" replied the bartender, "If you don't mind me asking, what
do you say to your best friend in that situation?"
The man replied, "Well I looked him right in the eye, and I
yelled, BAD DOG!!!"
*************************
Woman walks into a bar with a dog under her arm
barman - Where'd you get the pig?
woman - That's not a pig, it's a dog!
barman - I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the dog.