Ralph the Cat, being, well, a cat. and at that being a cat he is well versed in the ways of the outdoors cat,(such as how to show up for food) and knowing well how to kiss his owners a## at the appropriate times such as 'feeding time', or perhaps 'leftover time', or maybe 'clickity'clickity' 'snap' 'pop' as the sound of only the most perfect of cat food 'can' sound, had a problem. a rather large reddish brown feline of the male persuasion had glommed onto his (ralphs) personal, catlike, feeding ritual inside the 'garage', through the 'catdoor' at approximately 6 p.m.. for many nights, ralph was badly beaten and starved from his daily handout.

As ralphs supporter,(owner) i would hear this horrid yowling in the f##king garage, run in there, and see fur floating in the air and this big m.f. cat running out the cat door. ah, what to do? life out in the nevada desert is bad enough, what with coyotes, feral dogs, and such, all out trying to snack on cats/or whatever. ralph is an ok cat, and takes good care of the rodents around the place, a fine, outdoors working cat, so he at least deserves a bit of grub in the evening.
i fixed this little critter problem. what do you think i did? true story to follow, and yes it involves a firearm. remember,i do have neighbors, not too close, but sound travels a long way in the desert night...........

you pistol whipped the cat, had sex with it, then stuffed the mutilated genetils into your fridge.  At least, that's what all Nevadans do right?  right guys?  Oh no you don't.  Don't single me out, uh uh,  I took the heat about the whole Sheep thing, but you guys are going to stand with me on this one.  Guys?  Hellllooo?  

NSF

bwilly, if I was your wife, all I would tell you, is to remember Ralph is part of our family and it is your job to protect us.

Mrs.DieselDoctor

P.S. Remeber, pellet guns work real well.

Give Ralph a couple of days off - let him stay inside. Feedbowl in garage gets a new additional seasoning added to the entree. Invader cat crawls home (if he has one) and his owner gets to figure out how his cat had been misbehaving.

Either that or just wait outside and pop the newbie cat with a pellet gun (first offense) or something lethal (second offense).

Long barreled .22 (Rossi pump) and CCI CB longs do rather well, on big ass tom cats that like to beat up the house cat. IMHO of course.

Rew

Every cat knows it's name.  It sounds exactly like a can opener.

what is a feral dog? if you want to laughf go ahead look where im from.. northren wi

You gonna teach Ralph to shoot?

cb

as this post is going away, i thought i would tell you folks what happened. i kept ralph in the house at feeding time, cranked up the stereo, placed a nice tasty dinner out in ralphs spot. this happened to be very close to the garage door from the kitchen. i cracked the door open about 3 inches and waited with my .22 pistol leaned over the stove, i didn't have long to wait until the bully showed up, had a bite, then looked through the crack in the door right at me. it was the last thing he ever saw. scratch one pest. a .22 stinger right between the eyes solved ralph's problems.

I believe they are called timberwolves around here. [;D]