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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:21:14 AM EDT
First, yes once I get the order I will have lawyer and should easily get her lies recinded.
Long/short. Got in huge fight 3+ months ago, said mean things (no threats) then cut ALL contact. Happy 3 months:) Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years  )
I tell her nope, she gets upset and sends 2 more emails threatening suing me. I didn't reply. 2 days later, says she's getting restraining order using stuff I said 3 months ago plus a couple lies about me contacting her by phone recently and also that I have been stocking her despite her living all the way across the country. Her emails clearly state she's upset that I'm not going to give her the money so I think this is easily beatable in court. I hope. However what happens when I first get the order? She stated that because we were married this is going to be some kind of domestic violence thing, there was no domestic violence in the relationship. Will this order affect me until I can get it voided? Does it affect my guns until I can see the judge? I've looked online but I get two different answers. Should I get a restraining order against her immediately? |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:24:36 AM EDT
[#1]
In most states guns are a no no. You should cut contact with her except in writing and control your temper. Keep all dealings at a business level. Also you need a good lawyer.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:25:26 AM EDT
[#2]
Change your phone number. Change your email. Flush her from your memory.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:26:19 AM EDT
[#3]
Just get a restraining order against her.
Any kids? If no, why the fuck do you still have contact with her after 4 years? |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:28:09 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Just get a restraining order against her. Any kids? If no, why the fuck do you still have contact with her after 4 years? |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:29:03 AM EDT
[#5]
Get yourself a good attorney and strike against her first. It may be too late already.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:29:07 AM EDT
[#6]
I'd probably start looking for a good attorney now and, after finding one, speak with them even before your ex takes any legal action. May be overkill, but the downside of her following through with the false claims seems to be pretty high.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:30:28 AM EDT
[#7]
You NEVER give up your guns. Never!
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:30:47 AM EDT
[#8]
ITT: Woman uses lies and threats to extort money from innocent man. Surely this has never happened before.
File a suit for PTSD against her for the admitted fraud. 
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:32:12 AM EDT
[#9]
Any and all contact strictly through your attorney.
You stuck it in the crazy didn't you. 
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:35:59 AM EDT
[#10]
Give her a p320
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:37:58 AM EDT
[#11]
I'd get in touch with a good lawyer, just to protect yourself. After being divorced for the length of time you stated, this seems like a no brainer. You're responsible for only what is stated in the divorce decree, and that's it unless it's been amended or gone back to court. What she has incurred since then is on her, and her new boyfriend/husband or whatever. Been there and done that....and I'd only communicate in writing, but that's me. Best wishes with the situation! Been there and done that, but not to this degree.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:38:42 AM EDT
[#12]
Lawyer up! SOMEONE got into her ear and here comes the bullshit!
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:39:19 AM EDT
[#13]
What kind of bills are remaining four years later?
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:39:36 AM EDT
[#14]
Hope it was one sweet piece of ass for all of the trouble.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:40:13 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Any and all contact strictly through your attorney. You stuck it in the crazy didn't you. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:40:14 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Give her a p320 
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:40:19 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Give her a p320 
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:41:08 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot 
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:41:09 AM EDT
[#19]
OP, if you were residing in NJ, your firearms would have already been confiscated, seek counsel.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:42:06 AM EDT
[#20]
I would contact a lawyer now.
Also document ALL conversations and means of contact. Along with what was discussed. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:42:06 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Just get a restraining order against her. Any kids? If no, why the fuck do you still have contact with her after 4 years? 
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:42:30 AM EDT
[#22]
Give all guns to a trusted friend or family member. Do not communicate with her AT ALL. Save all past communications and provide copies to your lawyer. Any semi competent lawyer should be able to get this dropped. You probably could get it dropped yourself but getting an attorney is smart. Then get guns back and never communicate with her again.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:43:12 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted:
First, yes once I get the order I will have lawyer and should easily get her lies recinded. Long/short. Got in huge fight 3+ months ago, said mean things (no threats) then cut ALL contact. Happy 3 months:) Cut to last week, she emailed me saying I am responsible for paying some bills ???? (Divorced 4 years )
I tell her nope, she gets upset and sends 2 more emails threatening suing me. I didn't reply. 2 days later, says she's getting restraining order using stuff I said 3 months ago plus a couple lies about me contacting her by phone recently and also that I have been stocking her despite her living all the way across the country. Her emails clearly state she's upset that I'm not going to give her the money so I think this is easily beatable in court. I hope. However what happens when I first get the order? She stated that because we were married this is going to be some kind of domestic violence thing, there was no domestic violence in the relationship. Will this order affect me until I can get it voided? Does it affect my guns until I can see the judge? I've looked online but I get two different answers. Should I get a restraining order against her immediately? SHouldnt she be happy that you are stocking her (with groceries and various sundries i presume?) |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:43:58 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Just get a restraining order against her. Any kids? If no, why the fuck do you still have contact with her after 4 years? |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:44:02 AM EDT
[#25]
"What email?" would have been the appropriate response.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:44:25 AM EDT
[#26]
How did you get your guns back from that boating accident?
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:45:43 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:45:50 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm thinking he might still have been sticking it in the crazy until 3 months ago... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Any and all contact strictly through your attorney. You stuck it in the crazy didn't you. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:47:00 AM EDT
[#29]
Welcome to your patriarchal privilege. Get a lawyer asap.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:47:52 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
In most states guns are a no no. You should cut contact with her except in writing and control your temper. Keep all dealings at a business level. Also you need a good lawyer. And since she's filed a restraining order - or claims she did, don't respond to anything she says or does - give it all to the lawyer, including her email that threatened you with the RO. Cos if she really did file one, then she shouldn't be contacting you either. But some women will do just that in order to set the other person up for failure. So don't respond to anything - hand it all over to the lawyer. After all, that's what you'll be paying him or her for ... to deal with your ex, so that you don't have to. And hell, your own RO against her can't be bad too I suppose. I'm sure it will make her lose her mind but you have that right, especially since she's threatening you. Firearms... eh, wait until you actually get an RO delivered to you. Then have a friend take them over if you have to. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:48:46 AM EDT
[#31]
Print all those emails
Take pictures of any texts, and the "recent call" screen, then print those out |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:49:15 AM EDT
[#32]
Keep at least one old junker gun at the house and two others hid away somewhere else just in case . Don't put all eggs in one basket.
Being your not in the same area one would logically think you are not a threat. But logic is not involved here. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:52:44 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Apparently. There is no reason to have contact with her. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:54:12 AM EDT
[#34]
This is fucked up.
Get a lawyer and get a hearing asap. No fucking way you let her take your rights because she is nuts. Also sue for damages from this shit. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:54:18 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot Are you sober when you do things like contact her, or get pissed off and lose all control of yourself? |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:54:44 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:55:19 AM EDT
[#37]
It's a no-go for the guns while the order is in effect - it's a topic addressed in one of the questions on the 4473 form when you buy a gun from an FFL.
The best course is to let the courts sort it out, don't make any new contacts or give any new reasons (including getting a counter restraining order based on exaggerated claims) to prolong the fight. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:55:25 AM EDT
[#38]
My ex tried this shit, because she got fired and arrested for embezzling money from her work. When I started figuring out her lying bullshit, I worked with the police and her former employer on the case.
She filed a restraining order, got a good attorney and went into court. She started the bullshit I was going to kill her etc. The judge got statements from the police and her former employer and the judge said if she felt she was threatened he would resend her bail and put her back in jail. She broke down crying and throwing a fit in court, then the bailiff took her into custody. That was 12 years ago and she was held till trial, found guilty and still has 2 more years before she might get parole. At that point she will be real busy, the IRS wants their taxes on the money she embezzled. 
You can have a FFL hold your firearms, you should have one you can trust. The local police can hold them, usually more expensive, they don't give a fuck about taking care of them and if you have quite a few they can be real dickheads. Most jurisdictions give you 24 hours to 'dispose' of your firearms ONCE YOU'VE BEEN SERVED. Best thing, don't give any addresed where she can serve you. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 10:57:12 AM EDT
[#39]
I would first get a lawyer. Secondly, until it gets sorted out, I would have my firearms stored somewhere other than my house...ie with someone you trust. In some states, just an accusation of domestic violence can result in police seizing and holding all your firearms until it has been sorted out.
You are fortunate that you live across the country as that will make it easier to prove you are not a threat to her. Above all, lawyer up right away, and have your attorney file a response in your location on your behalf asap. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:00:02 AM EDT
[#40]
How the fuck was she able to get a restraining order granted against someone thousands of miles away!!??
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:00:35 AM EDT
[#41]
How do you get in a huge fight with an x-wife of 4 years that lives on the other side of the country?
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:01:00 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:01:04 AM EDT
[#43]
I practice this sort of law in Florida. I'd go get a free consult tomorrow.
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:01:46 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:02:33 AM EDT
[#45]
Here's what's actually going on:
Ex-wife is in need of money. Ex-wife is using a threat to extort money from OP. To OP: Look, dummy, she's an EX-wife for a reason. Stop dicking around and put her in the rear view. There isn't a restraining order, nor is there going to be one. Please understand that for an "order of protection" to be issued there has to be a threat or a possibility of violence involved. Her going to a judge and saying that she's afraid of you when you are "on the other side of the country" is not going to fly with just about any judge anywhere. Until you actually see a piece of paperwork with your name on it, stop fucking worrying about it, ya idiot. It's a bluff to frighten you into giving her money. Now, print off all emails and document everything. Never, ever again have any contact with her. If she send you more emails, print them off and archive in your account. Do not respond, ignore any attempts at phone contact. Should you somehow find yourself holding a restraining order with your name on it, THEN contact attorney and start going through all the stuff required to comply. Otherwise, calm the fuck down. Stop hyperventilating at some windy threat by a greedy bitch. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:02:51 AM EDT
[#46]
Not trying to be a jerk here, but if you were still having contact with an ex after 4 years and no kids, you brought it on yourself!
I had one try this same crap when I found out she was fucking a truck driver. Her dumbass lawyer got a restraining order, but I never had a problem keeping my guns. Of course, I live in a free state... Everything got thrown out, I divorced her, kept all my stuff, including the house, and I never spoke to the bitch again! |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:05:06 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That's not just an "also" - that's the first thing to do really. And since she's filed a restraining order - or claims she did, don't respond to anything she says or does - give it all to the lawyer, including her email that threatened you with the RO. Cos if she really did file one, then she shouldn't be contacting you either. But some women will do just that in order to set the other person up for failure. So don't respond to anything - hand it all over to the lawyer. After all, that's what you'll be paying him or her for ... to deal with your ex, so that you don't have to. And hell, your own RO against her can't be bad too I suppose. I'm sure it will make her lose her mind but you have that right, especially since she's threatening you. Firearms... eh, wait until you actually get an RO delivered to you. Then have a friend take them over if you have to. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:05:10 AM EDT
[#48]
The ONLY contact you should have with her is through your attorney. Do not respond to ANYTHING she says. This is a legal matter that you can fuck yourself quickly if you make a wrong move.
If this is found to be bullshit then have your attorney ask for her to cover your attorney bills. |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:05:40 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No kids and because I'm a fucking idiot |
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Posted: 8/13/2017 11:06:09 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Stop doing that before your life gets really fucked up. Are you sober when you do things like contact her, or get pissed off and lose all control of yourself? |
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