A Husband for Laura Rose?

By Michael Pearl

Are you raising a husband for Laura Rose? This is not just any Laura Rose. This one is a real Pearl—our six-month-old granddaughter. I am already talking to her about her choice of a husband. I don’t think I am getting through to her, so I thought it best to write to the parents of her future husband.

He should be losing his baby teeth right about now and speaking with a hiss. He is your son and you think he is the best, but if the Lord hasn’t returned, and I am still around in about twenty years (I will be 77 then), to get to Laura Rose your son is going to have to pass the inspection of a narrow-minded father and an old fashioned grandpa—me. I am very firm about what I expect in a young man and, as I will be one of her mentors, by the time she is grown she will share my expectations.

When she reaches the flower of her age and begins to consider the young men who swarm around her like honey, she will talk to me of things she is embarrassed to say at home. I will listen, appear wise, smile, and offer some advice about waiting on God. She will think I am too old to understand her passion and zest for life, but with the grace of God and the trust of her family she will successfully travel the ancient, yet always new path to maturity. God will bring into her life that special one whom he has already begun to prepare.

Just the other day, as I sat in my easy chair with Laura, contemplating the wonders of such a perfect child, and knowing that she is going to be brought up in a most nurturing and disciplined environment, I wondered what family out there is raising up her husband. Are you doing a good job training up that young man? Laura deserves a husband that is not broken or scarred. The average won’t do. He must be pure in heart. It will not be enough for him to be forgiven of his sin. Laura will deserve a husband that has never walked in the path of darkness—one who brings to the marriage nothing but innocence and purity.

I will give you a list of what this grandpa expects from any young man that comes, wanting to pick this lovely Rose.

It goes without saying that he must be a virgin. Furthermore, he must be absolutely innocent in regard to pornography. If he has ever been a user of porno, he can forget Laura. It will not matter that he has confessed his sins and is forgiven. David confessed and God forgave him, but he and his family continued to reap what he had sown until the day he died. Laura will bring innocence and purity to the marriage. I do not want her to come crying to Big Papa with tales of how her husband confessed that he fantasizes about other women when they are together, or of a sordid story of how he is not satisfied with natural sex. I want her husband to be clumsy on their honeymoon. I want them to laugh about it years later—about how naive they were, about how they discovered things together, thinking they were the first to know, believing they had reached heights others have never known. I want Laura to always know that she is the first and only—including his private world of fantasy. She will never be jealous, never wonder if she measures up.

If you would not let him play in a minefield, don’t let him play on a computer where he can access the web, and don’t let him hang out at the home of any children who can access the web. Don’t allow him to play computer games that have big-busted, good-looking women shooting, kicking, punching, and wreaking mayhem. Such women will become the women of his dreams, and my Laura Rose is not going to be that kind of a woman. She will be gentle, graceful, a good conversationalist, modest, kind, and merciful. It may mean that you cannot allow your little man to hang out with the kids at church. Your Sunday school may be an evil place. It usually is. If you have a TV and your Johnny has the remote, when he gets big enough to marry, tell him what he missed in Laura Rose.

Now you may think that I want Laura’s husband to be a meek, passive man. Not at all. If your little Johnny is “full of it,” he is in the top of the running. He can be loud, bossy, aggressive, domineering, and competitive. I would prefer him so. He will need gentling, need to learn to control his impulses, develop a little humility, and he will need to learn to respect authority, but I like to see a little five-year-old man with spunk and guts. Proper training that doesn’t break him, but rather directs those energies, will make  him a fine man some day. Often little three-year-old boys are still mama’s boys, emotionally dependent and clingy. Children mature at different rates. But, by the time he is five, he should be tough and resilient. He needs to grab life by the horns and hang on through the cuts and bruises. If he gets in a fight occasionally, it won’t bother me as much as if he has a habit of running to mother with tales of abuse and rejection. Remember, you are not raising just any kid; you are raising a husband for Laura Rose Pearl.

Laura is in training. She is loved and cherished by a big family. She has uncles and cousins and grandparents and great-grandparents that walk with the Lord. She is going to be learning many things. If the Lord tarries and I live long enough, your son is going to have to get by me. In the mean time, Laura is gracing my mornings.

Yes, I know - it's long. Sorry. It's also pseudo-religious, but I am interested in what you think of this grandfather's entreaty to parents out there (and to young men, too).

You can be honest. If you hate it, say so.

I liked it, except for the part about holding past sins over his head, but hey whatever ye meet ye shall reap. Also, the end was a bit short compared to the rest. Overall, I liked it-but I have one on the way, so I am biased.

I had to edit it because it was too long, and I didn't want to overwhelm you people out there.

Here is the link to the full message.

[url]http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/Articles/200305A%20Husband%20for%20Laura%20Rose.htm[/url]

Kind of ironic how the internet and access to it is somewhat of a sin, yet that is where we all read this.

All I can say is grandpa has some pretty lofty ideals... he better start combing the Amish population now, he might just find someone up to his standards by the time she's ready to marry. Sheesh!  But I'm sure he's just being protective, as any grandpa would.