Quoted:
What exactly do you masons do at your meetings anyway.. I have heard all sorts of things......from Pagan rituals to sex orgies ala "eyes wide shut"?
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{Homer reads to Lisa from the "Secret World History".}
Lisa: I _still_ don't believe all the founding fathers were Stonecutters.
Homer: That's because you trust your stupid schoolbooks. Here's what _really_ happened at the signing of the Declaration of Independence.
[flash to signing]
Washington: And a nation is born. Now let us party like 'twas 1799!
[small kegs are rolled in; two men chug]
Everyone: [chanting] Quaff! Quaff! Quaff! Quaff!
[a man lights a match, blows beer at it][it makes a flamethrower and burns another man's wig]
Owner: Please, sir! You're destroying my establishment.
Man: We just created the greatest democracy on earth, you low-life commoner![kicks him]
Homer: [in the present] You want to see how Davy Crockett _really_ died at the Alamo? You must be eighteen...