Don't let the wife catch you with another woman until AFTER the paperwork is signed and it is too late for her to change it. It doesn't matter that she ran off with some dipshit on you, she will still flip out and screw the whole thing up.

Don't drive by the house either-now that stalking, harassment blah blah and every other damn thing.

By the way sounds like you are getting out of this in a pretty good position. Better to know now that the wife is not trustworthy than to spend more years with her. Plenty of good women out there, you'll be fine.

Citabria WTF? Let me give you a little insight into our society, look at the magazine rack in the bookstore and you will see "Bride" magazine, but you won't see "Groom" will you? There is a reason for that.

You need to let your hatred/mistrust, and comtempt for women develop for a while before you get sucked back in by thier charms. Spend you time at the shooting range with other divorced men so that thier hatred can give you the feedback you need untill you can build up your own calous attitude. Once you develop the strength to understand you don't need a woman to be happy then you will be in the position of power and they will have to work harder to prove thier worth to you, AKA make it worth your time.

At least you are "getting it over with", vmax.
I have been "putting it off" for years and am paying dearly.
Time will heal those feelings.
You sound like a great dad...excellent.
I don't think of my 1st ex (since '77) unless the goodyear blimp flies over or I see a truck that says "wide load".

Love makes the world go 'round, but hate will keep you warm at night.

Hey Vmax84,  Good to see you posting again.  I'm glad that things still seem to be going okay for you, but just remember that your life IS and WILL get better.  Some time ago I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, and I was having difficulties dealing with the fact that my exGF already had a new BF, and was constantly with this new guy.  So I did what I thought I'd never do.  I read a self-help book:

The book is:

Title: Rebuilding when your relationship ends
Author: Dr. Bruce Fisher

This book was written by a MALE therapist.  It's a very good book that gives great advice, and helps you change your mindset, or it helps you turn that switch off...  That's REALLY what you need, IMHO.  I read this book (took about 3 weeks in my spare time) and I really learned a LOT about myself.  I really wasn't ready to date anybody, and I realized that I should live my life for myself rather than latching onto someone else's life (ie new GF).  By "latching on" you're not only creating problems for your own life (like getting used to dependency), but you're causing problems and inconveniences in your new GF's life.

I suggest that you check this book out of a library, or buy it at a used book store (only cost me $7.00, and was WELL worth it).  It's NOT a very FUN book to read, because you're always trying to look at your life, and past relationship to see how it applies in this book (which sometimes may bring up bad/good memories).  Thus making it take more time to read.  By analyzing my life, and where I stood (in terms of progress of my recovery from the relationship) I was able to quickly get over my relationship.

DO NOT get into a new relationship, because it will almost assuredly be a "rebound".  My ex stayed in her new relationship, but later came back to my apt while crying & upset, "Bob says that I make him depressed."

As assholish as it was, I laughed my ass off right in front of her because I was over the relationship, and clearly she was not.  Her rebound was starting to fail miserably, and she wanted me to "help" her.

[side advice]Don't try to 'help' your ex's failing new relationship.  Then if it DOES fail, she'll blame it on YOU![/side advice]

Basically I had moved on, and she STILL hasn't.  I've dated 4 girls this since the new year, and 9 girls the previous (I know, it's hard to find a good PRO-GUN girl in a populated metro area).  I'm having the time of my life dating these young women, and have got so many new friends, shooting buddies, and girls that call me up I don't quite think I was truly LIVING or ALIVE before.  If I get a new GF, then GREAT, but if not, I'm enjoying every moment of my life to its fullest!

I suggest you try to live for yourself and your children and enjoy it as much as possible, turn that switch off (the book helped me immensely in doing that), and love your new life.

The Devil didn't approach Eve instead of Adam for no reason.

Sorry to hear, your woes.  Do your best to move on and if you need help, we're here.

Hang in there, vmax... and I'll put my vote in for not jumping into dating too soon.  I stayed out of the dating scene for two years after I separated from my ex-husband.  It takes a lot of resentment and anger and frustration to hit the point where you end a marriage and that kind of stuff doesn't resolve itself when the ink dries on the divorce decree.  I figured I'd better just enjoy life on my terms until I worked through those feelings instead of taking them out on some poor, unsuspecting date.

You'll probably go through an "I hate women" stage.  Just try to work through it and don't park there like so many fools on this board, okay? [;)]

There are good women out there but a good relationship is a combination of the right people AND the right timing... not an easy thing to find.  It's been five years since I got divorced and I still haven't found that combination.  ::wry grin::  

Thread hijack: I was married at 22 and after 3 1/2 years asked for a divorce.  FWIW, I paid HIM in the divorce settlement... so, NO, we're not all money-hungry ho's and bitches.  Heck, I told one friend how the divorce settlement went and he asked if he could marry me just so he could divorce me!!