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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:04:13 AM EDT
 One year ago a drunken final evening at Cola Warrior West was winding down. It was decided then and there in the desert wasteland ruled by the Sultan Of Sand (P2tharizo), that West would move North for 2016 and that I would host it. Despite my best efforts to recreate the desolation of West, the misery of FEMA Camp, and the madness of the East we managed to have a wonderful time.  The surprise late season snow which fell three days before the official start of CWWII was the icing on the cake. It took what was to be a soul draining course when dry and added snow, slush, and mud. Wednesday setup was fairly neat and clean because everything was buried in 4-16” of snow. The event bill for ice to preserve food and beer was zero. We didn't even bother with ice chests we just packed everything in snow. Thursday morning started slow with the first runner not getting off the block until 1000 because we had to find the components of the obstacles under snow drifts. Rapidly melting snow on the east facing road on which the run occurs turned the surface into a mire of slush, snow, and volcanic clay based mud. It was nearly impassible requiring my diesel pickup to run in 4-low and lots of noisy peddle to summit the 250' climb up the half mile run, further churning it into impassible muck. Naturally, camping and the obstacle course were at the north base of the steep ridge, and didn't thaw out until Friday afternoon. The first several runners all shot from prone in the snow. In the afternoon, it was prone in the mud with the sun glaring down from above. For most of the event, the blinding sunlight was further reflected off the snow obscuring the irregularly shaped targets, which stretched to 439 yards. Luckily for the shooters most of the targets weren't painted largely white. Most.   By noon we had a steady rhythm going, with runners being efficiently processed. Vets of previous Cola Wars rapidly took tasks off my hands. Newly minted Vets were shanghaied as quickly as they wiped the vomit from their chins. Mid-afternoon left me with little to do but sit back and watch as The Cola Machine took 'scripts, broke them on Obstacles, pointed them up the slippery slope, and crushed them on the Range and Chug. Few were left with time to contemplate their Penalties, let alone know their final times, as they were put to work. A total of 76 people competed; seven preruns, ~17 plus night vision on Thursday, an amazing ~30 and night vision on Friday. The remainder ran Saturday including one rerun which ultimately shaved off just enough time to eek out the winning time of 27:59. The winning time included a pistol penalty (raw 22:59). This pace of processing runners was achieved despite conditions that brought an unhealthy pallor to even the most jaded Vet. Raw times of +40 minutes were the norm. It was rare for a runner to go from Obstacle One to Trigger in less than 20 minutes in any ground conditions. The best I am aware of was 11:44 from Obstacle to Trigger. One raw time stretched a possible record time of 104 minutes. Despite cries for mercy, Fight Club Rule #7 was invoked, Cola Wars will go on as long as they have to.  Most of the actual weekend is nothing but a hazy blur for me. I know I shook a lot of hands, hugged a lot of people, and avoided a shitload of responsibility/hard choices by responding to every inquiry with, "not my problem, ask that guy” while pointing at a random person. I know I introduced myself to people multiple times having no idea that I had done so an hour before. In all honesty, I cannot do justice to you all by thanking you for your individual efforts to make this all work. I provided the location, obstacles, and targets, but nothing else. Cola Warrior West II happened only because of the combined efforts of people like ScareCrow, ScaryBlackGuns, VonRuff, P2tharizo, Repp, Tweeter, VacaDuck, and the countless others who chipped in and gave up their personal relaxation time on vacation to drop everything and help beyond exhaustion, sunburn, snow blindness, and hunger.  We ended up sending home a ton of food with people simply because so many skipped meals to stay on timers, to guide runners, to act as RSO, and to feed others. We also collected two full 50 gallon garbage bags of new donated clothing for those who will never know who we are, who will never thank us, and who may never chug. People showed up with chainsaws to cut wood for the cooking and warming fires. Others brought UTVs and comms so that the event could continue to process people efficiently. People pitched in to cook beef and pork in, under, and over those fires.  After the event my parents showed up to drop off steel for targets and a brief visit. I drug them along with me to the site of CWWII to show them what we had been up to, and for slave labor in the efforts final cleanup. Final cleanup was simple, hook up the portajohns provided by Sanihut, load the trash and recycling. My parents are both long standing members of an obscure religious cult, Jehovah's Witnesses. While loading up the neatly tied and organized bags of trash and recycling my father asked, "how much did you charge people to come to this event?” I told them it was a free event, donation based, with no one counting or tracking individual donations. All of the prizes, a literal dump truck load, were provided freely with no expectation of compensation by over thirty sponsoring companies. Surprised, they asked how long I had spent on cleanup. "Less than an hour,” I replied, "most of that spent emptying partial water bottles and putting them in the recycling bags.” When I grabbed the two bags of donated clothes from the back of the dump truck they assumed it was more trash to go in the bed of the pickup. When I loaded them in the cab and explained what it was, they were impressed that a group of strangers could come together in such a way to do such a thing, both the donations and the event as a whole. It may not mean much to you guys, but you've elevated their opinion of firearms owners in general significantly. As they left, they gave the ultimate compliment from one cult to another, "Sounds like this could have been a bunch of Witnesses instead of gun nuts out here.” As I sit here on my porch writing this, I listen to the quail call to each other and watch the sun set behind me. I can look to my right over my scattered piles of steel and disorganized conex headquarters, and see the ridge to the east of Cola Warrior West II. This has always been my view of what I hope to be the building site of my home. It is now also the view of what will indelibly be inked as one of the most enjoyable events of my life.  Thank you all, I miss you immensely, and I cannot wait to be with you again in future wars. See you in Kingman next year, if not sooner. Please all of you reading this, but most especially those who came to CWWII, do not hesitate to invite yourself to my home or to my range. They are always open to you. Bring beer.  1 john stoner 027:59 2 trigger flicker 028:01 3 sti cazzi 039:11 4 Coolkevin 039:20 5 nvgeologist 039:31 6 mk4dubbin 041:35 7 boxorocks 042:02 8 twratc 048:30 9 mick 049:13 10 shirtless eric 051:28 11 getboth 051:35 12 all alphas 052:20 13 rickbobbyplusone 054:22 14 scary black guns 055:060 15 Cap3127 056:100 16 Cj3waker 057:140 17 camudcat 057:53 18 scarecrow 058:00 19 codzilla 058:12 20 everythingisawesome 059:19 21 john conner0 63:21 22 Mike S 063:33 23 shade1313 067:05 24 mr murphy 067:42 25 p2tharizo 068:52 26 fort beeal 068:59 27 chief minion 071:36 28 Jesse K 073:18 29 calicontractor 074:41 30 obo2 077:19 31 repp 078:10 32 DoroteaSenjak 079:01 33 proyacin431 079:32 34 rigamorle 079:38 35 hyperscot 079:49 36 smurf10161 081:40 37 Luis R 082:16 38 tweeter 084:51 39 trojan costa 086:38 40 click2boom 088:18 41 phurba 089:34 42 holly 089:44 43 lingerlonger 090:23 44 spiderboy 091:38 45 HDLS0 91:54 46 wingnut 092:03 47 dholiday 092:43 48 Warewolf 095:36 49 Sgorilla 45 096:00 50 haiedras 102:45 51 goatfarmer 104:43 52 nomercy 107:20 53 dogg 109:46 54 von ruff 111:23 55 eagle34 116:25 56 big mel 119:13 57 Dr Jones 124:56 58 kiltakazzi 125:33 59 bmwbiker 127:01 60 codzilla wife 130:28 61 1andy2 135:01 62 locoengineer 136:51 63 rc47 136.26 64 acro2 140.51 65 vacaduck 153.13 66 kavin 160:00 67 aircaptain9 163:15 68 umbellacorp 164.07 69 rdilidar 167:54 70 splat2013 173:57 71 sirsqueeboo 179:28 72 army joker 185.03 73 gaslamp 187:55 74 big stick 61 197:00 75 baja gringo 211:31 76 paraframe 225:20 Those of you who weren't there to get all your swag, please EMAIL me. Let me know what you have, and if you know anything specific you earned. Thank you Vets once again for your participation. Thank you sponsors for your support of this very silly event. Thank you RustedAce for giving us a cause. Thank you to those who have not yet fought in the Cola Wars for looking forward to the day that you die with us, to be reborn into the glory of the damned. I'd storm the gates of hell with a six pack of soda with you guys, and vomit in the Devil's own eye.     |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:07:22 AM EDT
[#1]
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:07:25 AM EDT
[#2]
Mine
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:08:56 AM EDT
[#3]
I desperately need to make it to a cola warrior 
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:09:42 AM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
1john stoner027:59 2trigger flicker 028:01 
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:09:51 AM EDT
[#5]
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:14:11 AM EDT
[#6]
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:16:40 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: 1john stoner027:59 2trigger flicker 028:01 3sti cazzi039:11 4Coolkevin039:20 5nvgeologist039:31 For science - 1st (one penalty) 2nd (clean) 3rd (clean) 4th (one penalty) 5th (clean) |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:24:39 AM EDT
[#8]
How did the rest of the NVG runs go?
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:28:53 AM EDT
[#9]
Wow!
I'm surprised I didn't come in last! |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:30:38 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How did the rest of the NVG runs go? |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:31:40 AM EDT
[#11]
Nevada did good ! Good job guys
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:32:49 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
updated with color codes Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
How did the rest of the NVG runs go? rad, I'll have to make it out to see some more people do NV runs next year, and hopefully do a daytime run too edit: Ill give you a shout when I'm back in Reno to grab the swag bag, thanks again for putting all this together! |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:32:54 AM EDT
[#13]
Tag/ space for my aar later...
Still on the road home  700 miles down, 350 to go
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:33:33 AM EDT
[#14]
love to see some pics or vids from the event.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:34:47 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
updated with color codes Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
How did the rest of the NVG runs go? Thanks for hosting it and all the work setting it up. Was epic times. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:36:16 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
love to see some pics or vids from the event. We all died no pics |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:43:38 AM EDT
[#17]
My take away from this all is that i need to practice chugging, 100 yard pistol and stripping.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:44:20 AM EDT
[#18]
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Posted: 4/4/2016 12:59:13 AM EDT
[#19]
1070 miles in 14:30. My truck has as much mud caked to it as when I left this morning.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:12:03 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Just as neat: 3sti cazzi039:11 4Coolkevin039:20 5nvgeologist039:31 For science - 1st (one penalty) 2nd (clean) 3rd (clean) 4th (one penalty) 5th (clean) Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
1john stoner027:59 2trigger flicker 028:01 3sti cazzi039:11 4Coolkevin039:20 5nvgeologist039:31 For science - 1st (one penalty) 2nd (clean) 3rd (clean) 4th (one penalty) 5th (clean) Wow! Tight! So what was the Champs penalty? |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:15:00 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryThe dump truck and rusted excavator give it a Balkans vibe.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:16:38 AM EDT
[#22]
I had a blast and I'll be at any CW event west of the Rockies. I'll start training next week and hopefully move up to the top 10 next event
I'll drag along my not girlfriend again too
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:21:06 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My take away from this all is that i need to practice chugging, 100 yard pistol and stripping.  |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:28:07 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My take away from this all is that i need to practice chugging, 100 yard pistol and stripping. No kidding, I learned a lot too. I had a raw time of 32 but as Mitch's gal told me, Im a pussy, so I can't chug. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:28:34 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 1st takeaway for me... I can be outchugged, but only by few. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: My take away from this all is that i need to practice chugging, 100 yard pistol and stripping. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:31:05 AM EDT
[#26]
Here is BigMel contemplating life after her run
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:43:32 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Any idea who had the fastest chugs? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: My take away from this all is that i need to practice chugging, 100 yard pistol and stripping. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:44:10 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Here is BigMel contemplating life after her run
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/user/meestermurphy/media/E69D0563-137E-4816-B100-2071A9B9601F_zpseybhbq2x.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v470/meestermurphy/E69D0563-137E-4816-B100-2071A9B9601F_zpseybhbq2x.jpg</a> Great pic! Damn you for making her carry the dogs up the mountain during her run though...you're a hard man Zander, a hard man.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:45:46 AM EDT
[#29]
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Posted: 4/4/2016 1:49:47 AM EDT
[#30]
Cola Warrior West, where your guns left out in the open are more secure than if they were in your safe at home, but if you have a phobia that your gun will be temporarily abducted, cleaned, and lubed, this may not be the event for you.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:05:29 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a blast and I'll be at any CW event west of the Rockies. I'll start training next week and hopefully move up to the top 10 next event
I'll drag along my not girlfriend again too cause it took so much dragging the first time... 
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:07:05 AM EDT
[#32]
I am fucking worn out exhausted, dirty, tired, in about twenty kinds of gastrointestinal distress due to the double chug...
So, p2tharizo...got the dates set for CWW III yet? |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:12:34 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am fucking worn out exhausted, dirty, tired, in about twenty kinds of gastrointestinal distress due to the double chug... So, p2tharizo...got the dates set for CWW III yet? My glucose level shot up just by watching you. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:16:23 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My glucose level shot up just by watching you. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I am fucking worn out exhausted, dirty, tired, in about twenty kinds of gastrointestinal distress due to the double chug... So, p2tharizo...got the dates set for CWW III yet? My glucose level shot up just by watching you. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:29:27 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So, p2tharizo...got the dates set for CWW III yet? I'm genuinely curious
Very disappointed I couldn't make it to Reno so I'm looking forward to dying with everyone in Kingman next year. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:34:33 AM EDT
[#36]
"Well now I'm chugging. Happy? We're all chugging now. Bunch of jackasses, chugging in a circle."
nvg is a bad man, tempting us to do foolish things for a chance to win steel. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:37:57 AM EDT
[#37]
A couple happy warriors, we really didnt take hardly any pics. Thank you all so much for making rdildo feel welcome. She was convinced she wouldnt be able to do any of this but came away proud of what she accomplished and with all of your support she gave her all on every obstacle and put down 4 cans without spewing. Not to mention hd a blast with some awesome people and got to pop her machine gun cherry. Thanks to nvgeo scarecrow josh aston trigger flicker tweeter and everyone else who helped put this together. I hate to individually thank people because it's near impossible to give credit to all the people who came together to pull this all off All the sponsors are beyond generous and have gained lifelong customers and word of mouth support. One of the wonderful ladies got a couple of great pics of rachele and i all shiny and chrome i would really love to get them please either pm me or post them here or on the peep signal. John stoner you are a machine congratulations! I'm always inspired when you kick my ass. Glad to see such a strong showing from the hometown team. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 2:40:53 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How did the rest of the NVG runs go? Cold, wet and sloppy. I died,but I got better. 
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Posted: 4/4/2016 3:22:27 AM EDT
[#39]
I have a lot of excuses for my poor run (some of them even real
) but it all leads back to me not being prepared to be WITNESSED IN SHINY AND CHROME. My fat ass got kicked hard by the snot slippery mud, snow and cold. All in all, 10 out of 10, will compete again.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 3:33:52 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I have a lot of excuses for my poor run (some of them even real ) but it all leads back to me not being prepared to be WITNESSED IN SHINY AND CHROME. My fat ass got kicked hard by the snot slippery mud, snow and cold. All in all, 10 out of 10, will compete again.But did you die? Did you end up with any thermal video? |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 3:38:31 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a blast and I'll be at any CW event west of the Rockies. I'll start training next week and hopefully move up to the top 10 next event
I'll drag along my not girlfriend again too I approve of this plan.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 3:39:26 AM EDT
[#42]
I did die, but I got better. My grand idea of thermal vomit vid and NVG video of my run fell to shit when it was time to actually run.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 4:45:20 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Cold, wet and sloppy. I died,but I got better. http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/battlefield2shame/Arf/IMG_9790_zpsbth3dv96.jpg Congrats on 1st in NV! It was no joke. What was your setup? Is that a pvs 15ish or mod3ish? I used a pvs 14, BCM upper with unimax IR and a g19 with unity tactical slide and holosun. Couldn't hit the 100y pistol target. An IR light on my handgun would have helped a bunch, and I couldn't find the 430yd target, so took two penalties, and totally bitched out and only drank four sodas |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 4:52:07 AM EDT
[#44]
That stick was a cruel mistress
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Posted: 4/4/2016 4:52:58 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Cold, wet and sloppy. I died,but I got better. http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/battlefield2shame/Arf/IMG_9790_zpsbth3dv96.jpg That was a seriously impressive run. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 4:58:28 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Congrats on 1st in NV! It was no joke. What was your setup? Is that a pvs 15ish or mod3ish? I used a pvs 14, BCM upper with unimax IR and a g19 with unity tactical slide and holosun. Couldn't hit the 100y pistol target. An IR light on my handgun would have helped a bunch, and I couldn't find the 430yd target, so took two penalties, and totally bitched out and only drank four sodas I think it is funny that all of the night vision guys are up typing at one in the morning. The only target I missed was the rifle mini mo. My setup was dual pvs14s and a magnifier for the range portion. I had a WML on my helmet. For rifle, I used a Unimax IR for the laser and a Torchpro with a magnifier for illumination. For pistol, I used some IR Crimson trace grips. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 5:09:32 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think it is funny that all of the night vision guys are up typing at one in the morning. The only target I missed was the rifle mini mo. My setup was dual pvs14s and a magnifier for the range portion. I had a WML on my helmet. For rifle, I used a Unimax IR for the laser and a Torchpro with a magnifier for illumination. For pistol, I used some IR Crimson trace grips. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Congrats on 1st in NV! It was no joke. What was your setup? Is that a pvs 15ish or mod3ish? I used a pvs 14, BCM upper with unimax IR and a g19 with unity tactical slide and holosun. Couldn't hit the 100y pistol target. An IR light on my handgun would have helped a bunch, and I couldn't find the 430yd target, so took two penalties, and totally bitched out and only drank four sodas I think it is funny that all of the night vision guys are up typing at one in the morning. The only target I missed was the rifle mini mo. My setup was dual pvs14s and a magnifier for the range portion. I had a WML on my helmet. For rifle, I used a Unimax IR for the laser and a Torchpro with a magnifier for illumination. For pistol, I used some IR Crimson trace grips. I drove through a few time zones today, my internal clock is blinking 12:00
that Torch was seriously awesome. I think I need to get one now. |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 5:15:35 AM EDT
[#48]
It really does reach right out there. I just wish I didn't have mud smeared all in the magnifier I was looking through, it might have been a little clearer looking at the time.
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Posted: 4/4/2016 7:12:28 AM EDT
[#49]
(Top 10, make sure to get your spots at Classic if you want them.) |
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Posted: 4/4/2016 7:39:24 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wow! Tight! So what was the Champs penalty? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
1john stoner027:59 2trigger flicker 028:01 3sti cazzi039:11 4Coolkevin039:20 5nvgeologist039:31 For science - 1st (one penalty) 2nd (clean) 3rd (clean) 4th (one penalty) 5th (clean) Wow! Tight! So what was the Champs penalty? Stupidity: Self challenged to use factory mags (HK USPT). 1 pistol target left standing. Shoot better or carry more ammo next time. |
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