Major car parts chain here. Had more of my fair share of shit. Screamed at by customers, thefts, ect. Plenty of idiots coming in with no clue what they need, or demanding discounts for bs, or leaving their broken down shitboxes in the lot.
So, those who experience the joys of the world of retail from behind the register, come on in.

Fuuuuuuck. I really don't even know where to begin




I have no clue how some paces have stayed in business for so long with how things are run.




Shit getting stolen? - Cut back LP's hours.


Phones getting stolen from the rack in the isle in front of the door? - Let's put pallets of TVs there instead.


Saturday mornings are busiest time? - We should probably have everyone closing Tuesday night.  




Then there's the customers...


 

It sucks but it pays for school and gives me enough time off to work on my own business. I'll miss it in some sick way.

The best one of them all........ they want a refund   on  a part  over  90 days  (  that they have used )    that they haven't even paid for........  

Wut. Was it stolen then brought back?

 

Two separate families of disabled children (one girl, one a TImmah!) physically fighting over the "better" handicapped spot while in the store.  Their wheelchair bound kids looked to be the smartest of the bunch and prior to their physical engagement neither family knew each other.

Some sort of software engineer basically telling me to piss off when I asked if he needed help (we had to always ask and we were often secret shopped).  He wanted to take his picture with his product on the shelf (his mom had come with him...).  He had to sheepishly find me later and ask me where his software was because the douchebag genius couldn't find it.


Doctor who was stealing shit just to get a thrill out of it.  He was a hell of a klepto and seemed almost relieved when myself and another employee caught him red handed.  


Too many screaming customers to count.  I ruined your kid's Christmas because I didn't have the most popular electronic X in stock a week before Christmas.  I won't come to your durka, durka house to install some software or RAM.  No I won't negotiate price because this isn't some Moroccan Melon Mart.  The price is the same whether it's cash or credit.  I don't know why you don't have credit!  No we don't fix bullet holes in your computer tower.  Yes, we had lots of that product in the ad yesterday when the ad came out but there was a line of customers and they bought them...yesterday.  


Oh, and the "computer security" guy who was robbing our stores blind until I somehow caught onto his scheme and got him arrested.  His mother came to the store (she was a Hungarian immigrant, barely spoke English) and threatened the store manager for her son's arrest.  We all had a curse put upon us.  


Which led directly to the female store manager who was pretty hot but was stealing shit and selling it on the side to fund her drug habit.  She attempted to blame me for the missing products more than once until loss control nailed her.  Never found out what happened to her either.

Goes both ways.  Nothing like a salesman asking me if I have a 4 door vs a 2 door.    I need an oil filter.  Not a door.  

Was a store manager at target. Eye candy was nice as there was an upscale LA Fitness next door, but I had to deal with all the "can I talk to the manager" haircuts.

"Yeah, I bought this patio furniture here a year and a half ago. It sat outside near the beach in the FL humidity, now it's rusted. I demand a return.
Me: Go home and die.

Lol you guys have no idea.

Had a guy come in a couple days ago and told us a prison in Louisiana banned guns for their guards, so every night they release a team of Siberian wolves on the grounds to keep the prisoners from escaping.

For your sick pleasure!  

http://retailcustomersfromhell.tumblr.com/

Double tap

You would be suprised, some cars have slight differences in engine pars simply because of some asinine design difference. That, and the fucking retarded register computers are set up so that I cant even get to the part without every bit of useless info.

 

The people who try and get in after we close. Yelling through the door.

"Well I guess you don't want my money"

"No. We don't. "

I worked at a store in the mall as an assistant manager while going to school.  I frequently closed and the till started coming up short.  It was small amounts at first but increased over a time of about two weeks.  Obviously, one of the employees was stealing cash and not being very smart about it. I came in one afternoon to start my shift and the drawer didn't even have the starting amount for the day.  I close it out with a count, and call the district manager to cover my ass.  It was about $500 short.  Later that evening, I find a receipt on the manager's desk for a $480 leather sports jacket from the store directly across from ours.  I wasn't there in the morning when the DM confronted and fired her, but she came to work wearing the jacket.



ETA: That day, the drawer closed out exactly $20 over.  I was almost as frustrated with this as the shortages, but marked the amount in the log and made the deposit.  The district manager had put a $20 in the drawer to see if I was honest.  Dick.

 

 

Waay back in the day I worked sporting goods at Kmart.  One early Sunday I get a call asking about returning a "defective" kid's bicycle.  We were trying to compete smith Walmart by having a pretty liberal return policy so I told the guy to bring it in and we'd look at it.  Bout an hour later I get called to the front of the store and see this crackhead arguing with one of the cashiers.  It was the bike guy.  Problem was it looked to be ten years old and held together by rust.  I told him there was no way he would see a dime from us for it.  Fucker went off called me every name in the book.  Manager called the cops on him and forced him to leave.  What a dumbass.

Nothing like going into an auto parts store trying to get something for a race car!

I want 24 NGK blah blah blah

What car

Its a race car

what kind of car is it

93 dodge daytona

what engine

784 inch hemi headed chevy

Its not in the system

no shit get my plugs

you should put a rotary in it

fucking kill yourself

Wife worked LP for years at Sears.

Busted a cop thrill stealing. Gunbelt and all with the standard TPD off duty shirt over it.
She shit a brick and after calling TPD LP was worried TPD would stop responding to calls for assistance.
Sgt came out and thanked them. Made the paper and the guy was fired

Stopped at the store one day. Saw my wife and another guy chase some Canadians out of the store.
I followed and walked into a cloud of mace just outside. Wife and other LP were completely blind, thieves fled back to Canada

Chronic shoplifter was IDd by the wife. She stood by the door and asked the guy to drop the stuff because she had no backup. Guy walked past an open door and punched her in the face. The video made the national news (pre internet days). My friends in NY saw it and called me.
Guy had skipped parole and had a huge rap sheet, Got 7 years, was released and 6 weeks later dragged a lady by her purse under his stolen car.

Her co worker got slammed between an exit door and the frame by a guy stealing a huge craftsman tool kit. Bashed her head open with the box while she was trapped.

I don't have a full race car, but my car gets some retarded questions/responses:

Automatic transmission? No, it only came in a manual.

Big block? It's not from the 70's, so no.

You should get some 255 Mishimatozza tires. It sits on 305's, why would I get smaller tires?

Do you race it? Well the cone scuff, 5 point harness, bar, and seat kind of gives it away.

I bet you run from the cops. No, you can't outrun motorola.

I bet you have a ton of speeding tickets. No, I'm not retarded.

I bet you get tons of bitches. No, generally don't troll for gold diggers.

Did your daddy buy it for you (or "Does your daddy know you have his car" -police). Well since the title is in my name, the insurance is in my name, and the registration is in my name, and my name is on the bill of sale in the glove box you would probably get a very suprised look from my dad, a dodge guy, about this being his car. (had to keep the BoS there for years because some jackwads with badges kept pulling me over running for stolen car/making sure I had permission to drive from dad -I was over 21, pulled over 4 times in 3 months)

I have a few but it was me that usually defused someone else's situation.   In the mean time here are some retail rules I made up..  There are a few more but have not added them in yet.


I have worked in retail sales off and on part time or full time for the last 14 years, from a drug store right after school, to a indoor shooting range, to a full service high end sporting goods store.

Here are some of the rules which I have come to realize.

1. If you fart, a customer, usually a good looking female will make a b-line to you, or appear out of nowhere in your cloud of proud.

2. The further you are from your area, the more likely you will be called back the minute you get the furthest away you can be. Even if for the last two hours there were no customers, and the two hours after you are called back there will be no customers.

3. You always get a phone call when you are taking a dump.

4. You always get another phone call when you are already on the phone.

5. If you promise it, it will not happen.

6. If you say you dont have it, without checking, you will have it, and the customer will find it and bring it to your attention. Sometimes not in the nicest way.

7. All customers play at a pro-level of whatever sport they are currently talking to you about.

8. When covering another department, you will be asked the most obscure questions possible about things you know nothing about, nor anyone else will know, because the product in question has not been made for 50 years.

9. Customers from other states will be appaled that you dont carry a certain item that is specific to a 3 acre region in the city/state/county they are from 3000miles away. IE.. dont ask me for muskie rods in Arizona.

Worked at a Subway 10 years ago.  

During a really bad lunch rush,  I had a customer scream at me because I was making his sandwich too fast.  Really struck a nerve so I threw his sandwich in the trash and told him to leave.   I thought I'd lose my job over it.   Mgmt didn't even seem to care - we had enough problems finding employees to work for minimum wage.

My first job was Harts back in high school. Shoe department.

I got sick of finding filthy used ass shoes that had been swapped out for new ones. Happened often. Fucking thieves.

The following happened daily also but I have a specific story that I remember well. People trying to return absolutely filthy dirty torn up trash. Shoe departments, at least used to be, run by an outside company so we had final say, not the store.

I get called to service desk by store manager about a return. Guy with a pair of kids shoes that looked like they came off Tiny Tim. Huge altercation but I wouldn't accept them. When it came down to it I told the guy they didn't even come from Harts. We actually marked every pair of shoes with a code for the price. As shoes were marked down we would change the code so we knew exactly what they sold for when someone tried returning without a receipt. There was no code, they were trash, and we didn't even sell that shoe in first place. He blew a gasket and had to be escorted out.

I worked for Mervyn's for the Christmas season back in high school. Had a customer get mad because I laughed when he asked another associate if he could buy the display sheet/comforter set because it was the last one. Hell, I was 17 and had never heard of doing that. Had one of the managers get mad because I was wearing slacks that were the same color as blue jeans. She called me on a dress code violation (we could not wear jeans), and I called her on her nearsightedness. Had a customer yell at me when their credit card was declined, like it's my fault they cannot manage their card balances.

When I worked for Autozone, we had a woman come in to return some parts. I don't recall the exact amount, but it was somewhere around $500. I got the assistant manager's ok to do the refund, as she had a receipt from a different autozone. As she is walking out the door with her refund, the manager comes out from the back to stop her. Turns out that he had just been on the phone with the manager from the Autozone that she had bought the parts from. She had used a rubber check, and had pulled the same scam before. Anyway, the manager ran out, telling her that her check bounced and that the parts were considered stolen. He took pics of her car and came back in and called the cops.

The dipshits that came in with their home-grown dirt track race cars were the worst. "I need a fuel pump for my '73 Maverick, it has a V-8." After I look it up and get the part, they tell me that it's not the right part because they have a "Chevy 350 in there". Really, fucktard, you could have mentioned that at the start of this little transaction!

Or they would send their wives/girlfriends in with a parts list, then we'd get a call 45 minutes later because Princess came home with the "wrong part". Or the guys that thought Autozone is a full-service garage and want us to diagnose all their little auto problems.

When I worked at Pizza Hut, we'd get the people who would eat the entire pizza, save one slice, then ask for their money back because that one slice had a hair on it. One lady would call in once a week, order the same thing for pickup (at the time we did not deliver), then call half an hour later to complain about the pizza. After a few weeks of this, the manager finally told her that she was not getting any more free pizza unless she brought the old one in so we could see what the issue was. Another woman would come in and order a medium pan supreme and a diet coke...and then eat the whole pizza by herself in one sitting. On Sunday, all the church people would come in for lunch after the service and not tip because the waitresses were working on the Sabbath.

believe it or not. it does matter on some cars...  dodge/chrysler/mitsubishi were well known for stupid shit.  2 door and 4 door both have a 2.2..... 2 door is a mitsu engine. 4 door was a dodge engine.

stupid stupid.

Holy shit. I thought my 10 hour shift last night was bad. Today is when we get our weekly shipment and it was a doozy. Good 3 times what we usually get. That in of itself is no biggie, but its tax return season and everyone with a shitbox car and a refund is making thier way to my little corner of hell with a vauge idea of what they want. Right when I started at noon it was like Noahs flood. At one point right after I got off the phone with one customer lines one and two ring. Get done with those and the whole damn tree lights up. It is at this time that everyone with a car in my little town decided to walk in the door. My manager is busy with customers needing parts, Im answering the non stop phones and my line of customers waiting to check out is growing by the second. To make matters worse, I find myself holding back a case of mexican food diarrhea.







I didnt make it to the porcelain retreat at the back of the store until 6 pm. I (or rather, my rear) will never be the same again.