Is this a bad thing?

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Posted: 4/23/2001 12:53:54 PM EDT

Is it bad to wait until after you get married to have sex?

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:13:08 PM EDT

[#1]

Yes. Very bad. Your new spouse needs to know upfront how badly she will be disapointed for the duration of your marriage.
Scott

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:17:45 PM EDT

[#2]

WARNING: RELIGIOUS CONTENT

Second ONLY to my decision to give my life to Jesus Christ, remaining sexually pure is the BEST decision I've made in my lifetime (of soon to be 34 years)

IMO, sexual purity PRIOR to marriage is the best way to guarantee a successful marriage for a lifetime.

I have absolutely NO fear of contracting AIDS, or any other STD.

I KNOW my wife is thinking of ME when we are in da bed - not some old flame.

I have no fear of some old flame showing up at my door with a child I fathered out of wedlock, ruining what I have now with my wife.

Is it a "bad" thing?? I don't think so. Is it hard to do?? Yes, absolutely. (God was my strength thru MANY a "hard" time, if ya knows what I means) Is it worth it?? I have ZERO regrets for my decision.

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:21:59 PM EDT

[#3]

What am I going to do if I never get married though?

What exactly would be the definition of "sex" in this case?

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:22:39 PM EDT

[#4]

Well said, Garandman.

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:30:01 PM EDT

[#5]

Bad? No. It is a waste however, and it's also potentially disastrous.
You tend to have unrealistic expectations and idealizations of the first person with whom you have sex. It's best to get those illusions out of the way BEFORE you get married so you can look at things more realistically.
WARNING: IRRELIGIOUS CONTENT BELOW
Personally I find the idea of sexual "purity" to be a ridiculous concept, although I know from whence it comes---you can see the same sort of behavior in chimps. The alpha male wants to make sure no other chimp sleeps with his harem so that he won't waste resources supporting another chimp's offspring.
This natural compunction was morphed through religious thought into the idea of sexual purity (though it's always been more strictly enforced for women than men).

Anyway, do what you are comfortable with on this subject. I don't recommend "sleeping around" simply because it's emotionally vacant and gets boring. But there's nothing wrong with having sex with someone you care about outside of marriage.

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:34:23 PM EDT

[#6]

Imbroglio, I think the technical term is Onanism. hound out

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:53:58 PM EDT

[#7]

Imbroglio,

Ask Clinton his definition of sex. Oral copulation doesn't count in his book. You could remain "pure" and still relieve that tension.

Now, all we gotta do is find you a woman.

Posted: 4/23/2001 1:55:25 PM EDT

[#8]

Originally Posted By Imbrog|io:
What am I going to do if I never get married though?

What exactly would be the definition of "sex" in this case?

View Quote

WARNING: MORE RELIGIOUS CONTENT

Unlike our former President, I define "sex" as anything that gratifies sexual desires. That's a pretty wide defintion.

As a Christian, I faced the same "What if I never get married" question. Its a scary one, ESPECIALLY when you believe that sex outside of marriage displeases God, who I try (and frequently fail) to always please and obey. I frequently prayed "Oh God, PLEEEEEEASE let me get married." [:D]

The good news is that IF I didn't get married, I had the assurance it was ONLY due to the fact that that is what God had planned for my life, and that I needed to be busy about whatever ELSE it was he had planned for my life. In short, He has a master plan for my life. If He can create the world, and keep it running, I can rest assured that He will make no mistakes in my life. that assurance is ONLY for believers in jesus Christ, however. Those who choose another path in life are kinda on their own (but are so by their own choice. Like they say "Its a free country.")

Oddly, the Bible says "It is better not to burn." Basically, it means, if you got it bad, REAL bad, go ahead and get married, as long as you do it with the intention of it being for a lifetime. God hates divorce. Sorry, but that's the way it is. His words - not mine.

Bottom line is this - you can ALWAYS get married. It may not be to a supermodel, or to playmate of the month, but there are plenty of eligible women out there, with "wonderful personalities." [:D] Don't fret - it will happen. [:D]

Hang in there. And remember this - once you make the decision to have carnal knowledge of a woman, you can NEVER go back to sexual purity. And I can't tell you the number of people that took that leap that wish they hadn't.

Posted: 4/23/2001 2:09:32 PM EDT

[#9]

Geez man, I have such damn stinkin bad luck that his plan for me must be punishment for all of the sins of mankind!

Posted: 4/23/2001 2:12:47 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Bad? No. It is a waste however, and it's also potentially disastrous.
You tend to have unrealistic expectations and idealizations of the first person with whom you have sex. It's best to get those illusions out of the way BEFORE you get married so you can look at things more realistically.
.

View Quote

what a crock of horse puckey!!!!!

I waited, and I don't regret it a bit. ZERO "unrealistic expectations."

If that were the case, and you were being logically honest and consistent, your advice would be to NEVER EVER have sex, and thereby avoid the disappointment all together. [;)]

Know what makes "unrealisitc expectations" re: sex in America today?? Television and movies, where you breath on her neck, and the woman explodes in orgasm. GET REAL.

Rather than "unrealistic expectations, " I have the sheer joy of now living with the woman with whom I first learned of the joy of sex. Its a journey we made together, and we'll share it for a lifetime. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

What premarital sex does is NOT shed Illusions, but creates a WORLD full of illusions for when you DO get married. God forbid your wife eventually "cools off" in the sack as almost ALWAYS happens in marriages of more than five years. You'll then think back to ol' Debbie does Dallas, who was REALLY "hot" and grow discontented with your wife. WHEN it gets bad enuf, you'll go get ya another "Debbie" and crap on your wife.

No, pre-marital sex DOES NOT help anything. That's a lie that people tell themselves, based on what the "experts" tell everyone else to justify the profligate lifestyle.

Posted: 4/23/2001 2:18:24 PM EDT

[#11]

Imbroglio-- that may be true. God is focusing on you to give the rest of us a vacation. I wish you luck carrying your burden. Think back, do you deserve this "luck".

Posted: 4/23/2001 2:35:05 PM EDT

[#12]

Imbrog, until that happy day you do get married, I think you should consider joining your local chapter of S.W.P. (Sex Without Partners).
You may have leadership potential!

Posted: 4/23/2001 2:42:48 PM EDT

[#13]

There is no way I would marry someone I haven't had sex with.
I have a very powerful sex drive, and someone who was willing to wait years for sex obviously doesn't. Also someone you are going to send the rest of your life you should be compatible sexually with.
I think I am average in the # of sex partners, (6), and my wife is the best I have ever had.
[smoke]
good luck.

Posted: 4/23/2001 3:12:43 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
I think I am average in the # of sex partners, (6), and my wife is the best I have ever had.
[smoke]
good luck.

View Quote

6?!?!?!! WHERE THE HELL DID THAT NUMBER COME FROM!!!! Man, I have NEVER even had the oportunity to kiss or even hold hands with a womenz. I better be in line to be the next Pope or something.

Posted: 4/23/2001 3:27:46 PM EDT

[#15]

Originally Posted By Imbrog|io:
Is it bad to wait until after you get married to have sex?

View Quote

At least your ? shows you are thinking about it.

No, it is not bad.

Garandman is right.

The bible says that pre-marital sex is a sin. Now, if you beleive the bible then you agree it is a sin. If not, it is still a sin and you'll just have to find out later on the damage it can actually cause to you as a person and to your eventual relationship(s).

I was raised to beleive that sex before marriage was wrong. But, being a red-blooded, all-American boy I was hot to go when I got my first opportunity to sexperiment with a certain young lady ready to do the same. I liked it but it was still a sin and it harmed me in certain ways.

I have been married twice. Had sex before marriage with the first wife. It was honestly a mistake. I may not be able to pinpoint results to my particular sins but those results, as a whole, are there nonetheless.

In between marriages I had sex with someone I did not intend to marry. Totally animal...but totally wrong.

Again, I even failed the Lord before my current marriage and had sex with my wife before we wed.

Honestly, it made our honeymon night less exciting.

All the right, wrong stuff is so easily misconstrued. Folks that don't beleive in particular sins give you their opinions as to why a certain thing is not a sin. Now, they either believe what they say or they enjoy what they do so much that they find a way to rationalize their actions.

It all comes down to what you beleive. Not what someone thinks for you.

Garandman and I are certain enough in our beleifs to know what is what. In our school of thought just because one chooses not to acknowledge something as sin does not dismiss that thing as being a sin.

Wait if at all possible. You will find a closer relationship with your wife to be if you remain faithful to the union you truly want to have with that person.

Others will call me a prude.

Like I said above.......I have made this mistake many times and I can honestly say that for me it has always had its consequences.

Posted: 4/23/2001 3:36:32 PM EDT

[#16]

Pope Imbroglio I----- where do ya hang out? maybe you should find a better spot. what kinda girl you lookin for? age? what do you think the problem is?

Posted: 4/23/2001 3:51:32 PM EDT

[#17]

Imbrogl|o,
What makes you think there is sex AFTER marriage? You need to talk to some married guys. The only place there is sex is in OTHER guy's/gals lives, married or not. The big secret is that THERE IS NO SEX. That's why porn keeps the 'net alive--Onanism is the only sex, if you call it that. Depends on what the definition of "is" is. Bottom line, you're not missing as much as you think. Of course, it's like air--it only matters if you're not getting any. BTW, I am not religious, but Garandman is right. The nature of my job (23 years) is such that I hear LOTS of sob stories and most of them have to do with promiscuity. It just isn't all it's cracked up to be. Also, as intelligent as you seem to be here it is difficult for me to believe you can be so "backward" with the wimmins. Maybe stop trying so hard, if you are. They smell desperation and flee. Just be friendly and considerate--but be warned, it leads to marriage, even dancing if you're not careful! LOL Good luck!

Posted: 4/23/2001 3:55:21 PM EDT

[#18]

Since this is a persona choice, I can not tell you what is good or bad. I will however give you one piece of information to think about.

Say you get married. Things are going great. Then you find out that she was a gutter slut in high school, screwing everything that had a pulse. Having little to no regard for herself or the people she screwed.

That by itself isn't THAT bad, but when things take a turn for the worse in your relationship, you will think to yourself. Why the hell did I save myself for this.

Just keep that in the back of your mind.

Posted: 4/23/2001 4:05:26 PM EDT

[#19]

Ice15 has a good point. Try to hook up with a splittail that is equel (sp) to you in partners also in smarts, although you should be a little smarter than her.

Posted: 4/23/2001 4:08:39 PM EDT

[#20]

I know of several people who "waited" until marriage to have sex. But they waited by rushing into marriage just so they could have sex. Now they are wondering if that was the best decision to make.

I'm from a religious background and can't understand why I was always told sex isn't important and it can wait to marriage, don't have sex before your are married because it will ruin the relationship...ext. They make it sound as if sex is the most important thing in a no premarital sex marriage. So how can sex be not important that it can wait but then turn into the most important thing holding a marriage together? Just because you wait to have sex doesn't mean the relationship will last.

I also agree with RikWriter. TV, media, friends make such a big deal out of how great and wonder sex is. But sex isn't how it appears on the TV and it will leave you with an illusion of what sex is, making you want it. But no matter who it's with or if you waited or not it will definately be a disappointment from what you see on TV.

My advice is to wait as long as you can. After a failed long term relationship where we were waiting, I decided there was a right time not necessarily a right person.

Posted: 4/23/2001 4:28:48 PM EDT

[#21]

The only danger is the risk of suffering from a severe attack of OBU. I have heard of cases where it can be fatal.

OH, OBU is "Orgasm Back Up".

Just a feable attempt at humor to lighten things up a little. [:D}

Posted: 4/23/2001 5:43:51 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Imbrogl|o,
What makes you think there is sex AFTER marriage? You need to talk to some married guys. . . The big secret is that THERE IS NO SEX.

View Quote

Poor Imbrog|io is never going to have sex if that's true.

Posted: 4/23/2001 6:36:14 PM EDT

[#23]

Saving yourself for marriage I believe is a mistake.
As long as you care for the girl, take proper precautions and treat her right, a little pre-marital sex can be great.
I have been sexually active since before I could drive, but I left on friendly terms with all of them. We had fun and I don't regret any of my experiences.
My wife had sex before me and neither of us wish for our old flames, but both of us know we are both sexually & spiritually compatible.
I really wish you good luck, Imbro.

Posted: 4/23/2001 6:42:56 PM EDT

[#24]

Do you test drive a car before you buy it? buy a house site unseen?

Posted: 4/23/2001 6:56:18 PM EDT

[#25]

Imbrog:

I think you need to go "undercover" and do research into the subject matter. You might want to post pics as the investigation progresses.

Posted: 4/23/2001 7:06:57 PM EDT

[#26]

Do you test drive a car before you buy it? buy a house site unseen?

View Quote

I'm sorry, but those analogies annoy me every time I hear them. They are excuses more than good analogies. Either you are comparing to an arranged marriage or mail-order bride where neither partner knows each other beforehand, or you are saying that marriage consists only of sex. Marriage is a friendship and partnership of which sex is only a part.

I know a lot about my girlfriend and what kind of person she is even though I've haven't had sex with her. In fact, I've found that physical involvement, while being really good for the relationship and a lot of fun, tends to distort my objectivity about her. That can be a good thing because it bonds us closer together, but I don't see how it adds a lot of value to knowing whether or not she is the one I want to marry. I know enough to know that there is good chemistry between us. I think that plus good communication and each of us caring about the other person is a good enough guarantee that the sex will be good if we do get married. And I believe that I am in a more objective state to make that decision than if I take a "test drive". Learning how to communicate and love each other is a much more informative test drive than sex.

I also don't see how the vulnerability and trust, which seem to me to be important requirements for having good sex, can be there as much without the commitment.

I'm counting on sex being better if I wait for marriage. But if it's not, or if I never do get married, I don't think sex is so important that I will have missed out on something fundamentally required to be human and enjoy life. Which is not to say that I don't want to have sex badly. I disagree wholeheartedly with Fallschirmjaeger's proposition that waiting for marriage to have sex means one has a low sex drive. Wanting something strongly doesn't mean that you lose all control over how you go about getting it.

Posted: 4/23/2001 7:22:03 PM EDT

[#27]

Lets see,

Sex is not the end all and be all of man.

Me and my Girlfriend enjoy ourselves, I buy the lingerie and she dances for me, it goes from there, we enjoy each others company, and like to have fun together, we equate sex as fun, not a moral obligation (though we are faithfull to each other, but that is out of respect for our love for one another, and the fact the we are both hopelessly anti-social)

You guys put too much thought into it sometimes, life is short, enjoy yourself.

Garandman, we are glad your a religious person, now QUIT CRAMMING IT DOWN OUR THROATS!

Posted: 4/23/2001 7:47:30 PM EDT

[#28]

Now I'm depressed.

Posted: 4/23/2001 8:08:16 PM EDT

[#29]

Imbro, have you tried renting? I never had the guts to do it, but two of my single friends have given up on American girls and are going to Amsterdam this summer.
It might take away that "deer in the headlights" look some virgins have.
Or Nevada if you can't afford Europe.

Posted: 4/23/2001 8:17:15 PM EDT

[#30]

OK, I am 21 years old. I am a college student, and I have slept with 5 women. Regrets? No. All good decisions? Of course not. I have played it "safe" if you know what I mean, and don't go sleeping around with the first woman I meet. While I have not "waited until marriage", I have had sex in mostly good relationships, and for that I'm happy about. But Imbrog|io, I HAVE TO ASK YOU a few questions.

1.) How old are you? You have complained that, not only have you not gotten any, but that you also hardly ever have the opportunity to kiss/touch anybody. If you are 18 or -, we don't care; I lost my virginity at 19, your hormones will have to deal.
2.) Sex after marriage is not a myth; my AR15 and Glock-toting, National Gaurd, Mustang-driving uncle, a real man's man if I do say so myself, has been married to his wife for 10 years. They are both about 33-37 years old, and have two young children. Although he mostly has his own time to himself, to watch movies and play w/ this guns, etc, he attributes most of his happiness w/ his wife to...
-spending quality time together one various occasions
-having a VERY HEALTHY, ACTIVE sex life

It has been scientifically proven that couples with healthier sex lives live longer lives. And I believe you can contribute that to "being more content" as well. Do not think that you have to find a whore to get some b/c marriage is a dead end, or that getting married off the bat is a sure fire way to get laid. Both have serious repercusions (sp).

Please lord, please don't be 18 years old. If you're a grown man w/o nookie, then I do feel sorry for you, but I hope you're not a kid (despite your attitude, one never knows on the Internet). Nonetheless, heed my advice. IF ANYTHING ELSE, wait before you're in love to have sex. Although God won't appreciate me toying with morality on the issue, most will agree this is the most socially acceptable kind of sex, as opposed to sleeping around. As for actually getting you some, Jergen's and Rosy (and not O'Donell) are your best friends at the moment.

Sorry,
Jew~

Posted: 4/23/2001 8:22:22 PM EDT

[#31]

If all else, take Garandman's advice and consider yourself blessed to be a "do-it-yourselfer". If you do find yourself in love with the greatest woman in the world, whether you marry her or not, it will be the most enjoyable and worthwhile sex you have ever had; it will be meaningful. Patience is a Virtue, and waiting is a smart decision. Maybe when I'm 34 I'll have settled down and be as religiously sound as G.M., but until then I can always keep my wits, morals, and responsibilities in check. Sorry it has to go down like that, but that's life.

Jewbroni~

Posted: 4/23/2001 8:39:20 PM EDT

[#32]

Originally Posted By Imbrog|io:
Is it bad to wait until after you get married to have sex?

View Quote

Some questions:

1. Are you asking about:
a. Just yourself?
b. You and someone you're interested in but they want to wait?
c. You and someone who wants to do it but you're not sure, and you're thinking it might be better to wait?
d. You and someone, and you're both thinking about whether you should wait or not (e.g. you're both "on the same wavelength") ?

[b]or,[/b]

e. Is that workplace tease telling you it's a crock of s*** to wait, and sorta trying to wear your principles down? (Not that she actually wants to [u]do[/u] it with you)?

I once had a fling with a woman who later let me know that at the time the main attraction for her was the opportunity to get me to break away from the Lord. Won't bore you with the details, but it was a double no-no situation.

She knew that the God relationship was a real one for me (still is, but it was especially active then with worship, campus prayer groups, bible study, etc.). But to her mind, not a good one. In other words, she wanted to change me - 'for my own good'. The actual sex was almost irrelevant for her, once I wanted her enough.

Hope I'm not confusing you or failing to think of a different possibility, but there seems to be more to the question than meets the eye.

The comment comparing sex to air was a good one.

If you're unsure about whether you believe in waiting or not, wait until your convictions, whatever they may be, grow stronger.

If this question is not about paying for sex, when it comes to getting to meet and choose women to get to know better, try not to lead with your genitalia.

Just like with some women whose clocks are ticking so loudly it makes the guy feel like nothing more than a sperm bank, an aching groin can be a terrible problem for a good relationship.

[red][size=4]P.R.K.

Posted: 4/23/2001 8:55:32 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Imbrogl|o,
What makes you think there is sex AFTER marriage?

You need to talk to some married guys. The only place there is sex is in OTHER guy's/gals lives, married or not.

The big secret is that THERE IS NO SEX.

Bottom line, you're not missing as much as you think. It just isn't all it's cracked up to be LOL.

View Quote

Spoken like a truly happily married man.

I tell my wife all the time that she'd be screwin' my brains out if we were only seriously envolved instead of married.

She smiles cause she knows it is true.

With jobs, kids, houses, meals, cleaning, taxes and the NASDQ married womenz for the most part have no time or desire for sex.

Like I said....I know whats right and I am not even a desireable example of having practiced what I hear being preached but if I could do some of my escapades over I would choose not to have done them to begin with.

Just.....come to grips with yourself man! hehe and rent yo sef a videao wiff a womenz wiff great big ol breastesses

Posted: 4/23/2001 10:29:02 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

1.) How old are you? You have complained that, not only have you not gotten any, but that you also hardly ever have the opportunity to kiss/touch anybody. If you are 18 or -, we don't care; I lost my virginity at 19, your hormones will have to deal.[\quote]

I am old enough to buy a .38, but not old enough to collect social security.

Posted: 4/23/2001 10:49:18 PM EDT

[#35]

I think that if you feel in your heart that you love this woman then sex can be something to be shared. Everyone is right though, your expectations of what it is are probably wrong. I have had sex with a girl I didn't love and i did not do it again. we were dating for two years and she wanted to. I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, but I did it anyways. I am in love presently and when you are in love it is no longer having sex but sharing eachother. you will find more satisfaction if you love eachother than anything else.

Posted: 4/23/2001 11:35:51 PM EDT

[#36]

Before I got married I had plenty of opportunities that I took advantage of and also plenty more that I didn't. I should have taken advantage of all of them...

Posted: 4/24/2001 12:21:12 AM EDT

[#37]

Go to bed, school starts in a few hours.

Posted: 4/24/2001 4:27:26 AM EDT

[#38]

Yes, Imgrog|io, and in the land of the free and home of the braves, I am afraid it's a bad thing. If a woman is younger than 18, she is protected by the law, and if she is above 45, she is protected by nature. Anything in between is a fair game.

Posted: 4/24/2001 4:31:33 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Garandman, we are glad your a religious person, now QUIT CRAMMING IT DOWN OUR THROATS!

View Quote

I gave due warning in BIG, BOLD LETTERS that religious content was to follow in my post. I did this in respect to those who requested I do so, so they could skip my posts.

I simply stated my opinion. You CHOSE to read it, when you could have skipped it. The ONLY reason I can see that you think I am trying to "cram" my religion down your throat is that my "opinion" is logically superior to yours, and you feel ill equipped to argue against it.

You see, its NOT *** MY *** opinion - its God's. And your arms are too short to box with God.

Don't feel badly. You are in the majority here. But sheer numbers has never made the majority right.

Posted: 4/24/2001 4:36:54 AM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

Say you get married. Things are going great. Then you find out that she was a gutter slut in high school, screwing everything that had a pulse. Having little to no regard for herself or the people she screwed.

That by itself isn't THAT bad, but when things take a turn for the worse in your relationship, you will think to yourself. Why the hell did I save myself for this.

.

View Quote

You must be into mail order brides.

Anyone who marries someone they know THAT LITTLE about DESERVES what they get.

You miss the fundamental point - sexual purity until marriage is NOT about doing what is best for yourself. Its about doing what is right.

If I were to advise people based on doing what is best for yourself, the advice I would give is to "do" as many women as possible.

Like Spike Lee says "Do the RIGHT thing."

Posted: 4/24/2001 4:36:55 AM EDT

[#41]

I have had sex with one woman- that is of course depending on what the definition if "is" is. and of course Rosie Palm and her five sisters. I can tell you I have tried to get more, but oh well....

Posted: 4/24/2001 5:31:41 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

what a crock of horse puckey!!!!!

I waited, and I don't regret it a bit. ZERO "unrealistic expectations."

View Quote

I said "Potentially." It didn't happen to you...I know people to whom it did happen.

What premarital sex does is NOT shed Illusions, but creates a WORLD full of illusions for when you DO get married. God forbid your wife eventually "cools off" in the sack as almost ALWAYS happens in marriages of more than five years. You'll then think back to ol' Debbie does Dallas, who was REALLY "hot" and grow discontented with your wife. WHEN it gets bad enuf, you'll go get ya another "Debbie" and crap on your wife.

View Quote

So what you're saying is, your marital sex life has cooled off and you're glad you don't have better memories so you won't be tempted to cheat?
You're a weird MF'er, no offense. That's about the strangest stretch of logic I think I have ever heard. Sounds more like an excuse to not have self-control enough to keep your marriage vows.

No, pre-marital sex DOES NOT help anything. That's a lie that people tell themselves, based on what the "experts" tell everyone else to justify the profligate lifestyle.

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Hardly. That is fundamentalist bullspit meant to make themselves feel better about lost opportunities and a wasted youth.

Posted: 4/24/2001 5:43:16 AM EDT

[#43]

I really shouldn't get into this but I have a few things to say.
For the most part I believe what Garandman said although I don't think I would be so absoulte. I think that having sex with someone other than your lifelong mate could cause harm in that it would give you a point of refference, if your lifemate doesn't match up, so what?
Ice15, You have a good point, but you may be the way for this person to see the faults of her ways. Its not always so important to be first, but to be the last and only.
Cleatus, gotta remember to practice safe sex, wear rubber gloves....LOL
just my 0.02 Ron

Posted: 4/24/2001 5:58:48 AM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
So what you're saying is, your marital sex life has cooled off and you're glad you don't have better memories so you won't be tempted to cheat?
You're a weird MF'er, no offense. That's about the strangest stretch of logic I think I have ever heard. Sounds more like an excuse to not have self-control enough to keep your marriage vows.

View Quote

Cooled off?? HARDLY [:D] Trust me, there. [;)] My poor wife. [:D]

Am I glad I don't have memories of other women?? DEFINITELY.

Yes, I am a weird blankety-blank. In the Bible, Christ told me I would be regarded as such .

re: strange logic

What's "strange" about making a logical connection betweeen promiscuity BEFORE marriage having a causal effect on promiscuity AFTER marriage?? If you are sexually pure BEFORE marriage, wouldn't you think that would increase your chances of being sexually pure AFTER marriage?? If you don't "get" that, then I can't explain it to you.

As far as being an excuse for a lack of self-control, you are ABSOLUTELY right. What you don't understand is that I don't hold to these beliefs becasue I believe myself to be superior to other people, but that I know my own weaknesses - weaknesses that are common to us all. Left to myself, I would be the biggest hound dog on the planet. I have a sin nature that likes to do what pleases me, just as anyone else does.

But I KNOW right from wrong, as God clearly delineates it in His Bible. Having given myself to Him for His service, I attempt to do right thru the strength that HE gives me. Could I be a big time sex fiend?? You bet. But since Christ died and rose for me, I owe Him a debt of service that compels me to obey Him in matters of sexual purity.

Posted: 4/24/2001 6:49:00 AM EDT

[#45]

Do all you can, then do the good ones again. Also over 100 & trying for more..

Posted: 4/24/2001 8:28:56 AM EDT

[#46]

Wrong to have sex with the woman your going to marry? Maybe. Wrong to have sex with someone else's woman? Heck no. How else you going to know if you have the right one?

Posted: 4/24/2001 8:31:10 AM EDT

[#47]

[roll eyes]

Posted: 4/24/2001 9:12:40 AM EDT

[#48]

I will not give advice on the waiting part, I didnt and dont know the reasons why. It seems to have worked for some like Garandman.
I got it wet as soon as I could make it happen, I`ve been with way more than I can remember, cant remember faces or names of over three quarters of them, the ones I do remember were outstanding. When I met my wife we were obsobed by sex for most of the day, every day. I knew I found something that tweeked my willie. I have found that catholics, christians, and jews are more subdued in bed. Jews especialy. They dont like to go the extra mile. I dont know how Clinton got that fat Jew woman under his desk. He sure did pay for it though.
As for std I`ve had minor things but nothing life threatening, just shots.
Memories are all we have at the end of the day, I have a album full.
I do have a strong sex drive and know that I would be a cheating man if I married the girl I wanted to marry in High school.
We both waited for marriage, well she did. She started to string me along and I got pissed and joined the Army. She was pregnant by a mutal friend from the church we went to, by the time I was halfway through basic training.

Posted: 4/24/2001 9:49:54 AM EDT

[#49]

We both waited for marriage, well she did. She started to string me along and I got pissed and joined the Army. She was pregnant by a mutal friend from the church we went to, by the time I was halfway through basic training. [/quote]

This is phenomenon I have never understood about us guys. This chick dumped on this guy & he joined the Army. Is there a question on the sign-up form that you check (Joining due to woman troubles?) and they send you to a shitty assignment? Then as we get older, we see the dudes that work out in the shop do the same thing. The ol' lady screws him over, gets the doublewide & the rug rats. First thing the guy does is drinks a shit pot full & loses his job (or quits). This serves no purpouse either.
Bottom line is we are self destructive when women get involved.

Posted: 4/24/2001 10:09:08 AM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
What's "strange" about making a logical connection betweeen promiscuity BEFORE marriage having a causal effect on promiscuity AFTER marriage??

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The whole concept of equating having premarital sex with being promiscuous is a strange and illogical one.

If you are sexually pure BEFORE marriage, wouldn't you think that would increase your chances of being sexually pure AFTER marriage??

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No, because if you were not experienced before marriage then you don't know what you were missing...adds to the "grass is always greener" effect.

But I KNOW right from wrong, as God clearly delineates it in His Bible.

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No, you do NOT know. You believe. Big difference.