Have you ever had a family member pass away and...

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Have you ever had a family member pass away and... (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:04:30 AM EDT

...not shed a single tear?

It's not because I didn't love this person, I loved her very much. I just feel at peace with the whole situation. It just feels odd because everyone else around me is a complete mess.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:13:05 AM EDT

[#1]

My ,mother. Loved her dearly. She was 90 in decent health but, in her words, was ready to go. I shed many tears leaving her house not knowing how I was going to care for her. I din't want her to go to a nursing home so we started looking for a new house with more room so we could take her in. It was a blessing when she died in her sleep. No struggle, no fight to bring her back. Certainly a blessing from God.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:41:02 AM EDT

[#2]

Yes.

If you know it was coming and have contemplated it thoroughly , the passing of a loved one can be tearless.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:43:32 AM EDT

[#3]

I've only shed tears at the loss of 1 family member. Not because I'm a hardass or dickhead. I just wasn't close to the others. It's still sad, though.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:43:59 AM EDT

[#4]

Quote History

Quoted:
Yes.

If you know it was coming and have contemplated it thoroughly , the passing of a loved one can be tearless.

View Quote

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:47:30 AM EDT

[#5]

When I got word that my sister passed from a long fight with cancer at the age of 40, I didn't cry.

When I went to the church service, I didn't cry.

When we interred her and set her headstone, I didn't cry.

It wasn't until her next birthday that I felt the loss, and actually began to grieve. I cry every September 14, and it's been almost twenty years since she left us.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:47:43 AM EDT

[#6]

My grandmother. She had suffered for so long it was a relief to us and her. Though she was in the nursing home there were the ambulance rides to the ER, the late night calls from the nurses, the surgeries, the worry of how we would pay for it all and so on. When she was finally at peace so were we. We were worn out.

My cousins on the other hand didn't give two shits when my grandfather passed because all they saw was dollar signs. Fuck them.

Emotion can be expressed in different ways.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:51:11 AM EDT

[#7]

Dearly loved my mother. My oldest sister and I got along really good together, we thought the same and acted a lot alike. I was with both when they passed away. Long fights with cancer that they and we all knew they would not win. In the end I was at peace with their passing. They moved quietly on to the heavens.

Today....I miss them so much it brings tears to my eyes in typing this. I've been carrying my emotions on my shirt sleeve for over the last year so it's hard to even talk about them.

Miss and love you Mom and Karen!

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:11:15 AM EDT

[#8]

MIL died a few weeks ago not one tear. She had lost her mind in 2005 her death was too long in coming. Thought she was in Poland and WW II was going on. Kept thinking the Germans were going to get her. No way to live. Wife is happy she died.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:14:42 AM EDT

[#9]

Twice.

My Aunt was down syndrome. Her life was not always easy, but she always seemed happy.

My brother. We'd been estranged for almost 30 years, so he was practically a stranger to me.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:19:17 AM EDT

[#10]

My little sister passed away oct 11 2013....cryed my eyes out. She died in her sleep at 32 yers old. ..undiagnosed heart problem.

Then to make matters worse i had to pu my littl dog down the next day before a long drive to texas, his kidneys shut down

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:27:33 AM EDT

[#11]

All of them. Dieing is just a natural part of living

I've never lost a child though.

I cried when my doggies died though, so i know i'm not heartless.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:30:14 AM EDT

[#12]

No, but I don't think its abnormal

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:31:11 AM EDT

[#13]

Nope. Funeral homes, grave side services, the church service with the darn violins and especially the room your dog is in at the vet are designed to make the room get dusty. I fall for it every time.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:43:57 AM EDT

[#14]

Quote History

Quoted:

Yes.

If you know it was coming and have contemplated it thoroughly , the passing of a loved one can be tearless.

View Quote

This

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:47:26 AM EDT

[#15]

I've felt bad for a lot of relatives.....broke up,etc.

But......strangely enough, for my grandfather.....it was "okay", we saw it coming for awhile, he didn't like being in a nursing home.....overall......maybe it's a bit better than where he was.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:49:50 AM EDT

[#16]

When my grandmother died I was somewhat happy. She lived an awfully difficult final few years of life. Due to several strokes and her frail figure she could not move around well and her living situation was terrible. When I came back for the funeral I thought there house looked like that of an amateur hoarder. My cousins told me it was an improvement over what they discovered upon their arrival three days prior.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:53:15 AM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:

Yes.

If you know it was coming and have contemplated it thoroughly , the passing of a loved one can be tearless.

View Quote

This, plus a lot of distant relatives that don't give a shit about you like aunts and uncles. I have an older sister that I have not seen most of my life, never came to help when my dad got older and sick, told me to get a nurse. I'm pretty sure when it's her time it ain't gonna bother me.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:55:38 AM EDT

[#18]

My mother died of Parkinson's. For the last year or so of her life, it was her body, but her mind was gone. I did not shed a tear at her death. I miss her very much, and loved her with all my heart, but that disease took the most intelligent person I have ever known, or will ever know, and turned her into a blank stare. And I am quite sure she wanted to die, and it was the best thing for her.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:55:50 AM EDT

[#19]

Quote History

Quoted:
I've only shed tears at the loss of 1 family member. Not because I'm a hardass or dickhead. I just wasn't close to the others. It's still sad, though.

View Quote

+1

My grandmother died and I felt bad for my grandfather, but that's it.

She was a racist, manipulative, bible-thumping woman. She had a difficult life and she came from another era, so I didn't hate her but I also didn't shed any tears.

Posted: 10/5/2014 8:58:53 AM EDT

[#20]

My father suffered for nine years before he died. My mother went at 97 after 2 years in a coma, which was after 2 years of irrational decline.

Yeah, I had a cat die that made me cry. Humans, you can feel what they go through and see death as the goal.

Posted: 10/5/2014 9:01:56 AM EDT

[#21]

Yes.

Hospice made it easy for everyone to say good bye.

That is why I work for a hospice company now.

Posted: 10/5/2014 9:32:34 AM EDT

[#22]

Brother, Uncle, Aunt, Grandmother. Never cried for any. I was just glad they're pain was over.

Posted: 10/5/2014 9:34:34 AM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
Yes.

If you know it was coming and have contemplated it thoroughly , the passing of a loved one can be tearless.

View Quote

This.

People get and die, that's how it works. It's not like you didn't see coming.

Posted: 10/5/2014 9:49:53 AM EDT

[#24]

If I did shed a tear when my mom died I don't remember it. She had been sick with cancer for years and wasn't hurting or sick anymore.

Posted: 10/5/2014 9:56:17 AM EDT

[#25]

I haven't lost anyone close to me yet. I think I'll call my folks today because of this thread.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:03:00 AM EDT

[#26]

Yes. Death is a part of life. Often you see it coming and can prepare mentally prior to death. Does it suck? Yes. Does that mean I have to wallow around and sob? Not me

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:07:08 AM EDT

[#27]

My mother passed away at the age of 96, after having progressively worse Alzheimer's for the last 15 years of her life. Her death was almost like an imperceptible transition. It's as if she made it easy on herself and everyone around her.

My father, on the other hand, died suddenly of a heart attack at age 64. Although it was not entirely unexpected, I cried for days.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:10:53 AM EDT

[#28]

The ones that died of old age I didn't.

They lived full lives and died peacefully.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:11:01 AM EDT

[#29]

I cried when my dad passed because we had gotten distant with each other

I didnt cry for my mother because I knew it was coming and she chose

to end care. She was ready to get her suffering over.

I love her greatly

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:15:50 AM EDT

[#30]

My grandfather died at 97 fairly recently. For a number of reasons, I shed no tears. I felt very bad for my mother though. She was very close with him, despite his decidedly unlikeable personality.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:26:18 AM EDT

[#31]

Pop went from active and vital to a shell of what he was. Relief is what all his kids felt including me. Miss drinking a brew with him.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:30:04 AM EDT

[#32]

When I was told my mother passed away, I did not cry.

When I saw her being wheeled out of her room, I did not cry.

When we had my mother's service, I did not cry.

When we interred my mother, I did not cry.

About three months later, I was at home alone watching something on TV when I completely lost it and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

I still miss my mom, and it makes me sad that she's gone, but I did all the crying I needed to do that one day.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:30:51 AM EDT

[#33]

Sure

They were better off. And I don't mean that in a negative way. They were very sick, they were suffering, they were wasting away.
It was time for them to go, they had lived a full, productive, happy life.
I was happy that their suffering came to an end.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:31:43 AM EDT

[#34]

All four of my grand parents on my mom's side. Loved them all dearly New them all well. Never cried over any of them. I

don't know why though.

I still all these years later have many dreams with my grandpa and grandma in them. Almost never have a dream with my great grand parents in it.

My grandpa had polio during the epidemic, and in my dreams he is always walking with no crutches even though I never witnessed this in my life time. He died about 20 years ago, grandma died about 6 years ago in a hospital across the street from my house.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:34:07 AM EDT

[#35]

When one of my grandmothers passed. She'd been "off" for years, to the point that she wasn't allowed to show up at our house without an invitation and if she did I was to call my parents immediately so they could deal with it.

Kharn

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:39:16 AM EDT

[#36]

Brother killed himself in a jail cell waiting to be formally charged with second-degree sexual assault, three counts risk of injury to a minor and two counts of employing a minor in an obscene performance.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:40:28 AM EDT

[#37]

I'm have never been a real emotional person and when my mother passed I never shed a tear. She had fought cancer for over a year and when she passed, I actually felt relief for her. I felt bad and even asked my wife the hell was wrong with me.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:43:46 AM EDT

[#38]

Boys don't cry

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:47:00 AM EDT

[#39]

Both of my parents. They were in their 90s, in poor health and severe pain. Both were not only ready, but eager to go.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:48:46 AM EDT

[#40]

My father passed away a few years ago. He had not been a part of my life for over 25 years so to me I lost him years ago.

Posted: 10/5/2014 10:55:32 AM EDT

[#41]

This particular one OD'd on Viagra & cocaine.
Was a mule here in Plano. He helped destroy several people's lives.
Good riddance.

Posted: 10/5/2014 11:00:01 AM EDT

[#42]

GD never cries.

Posted: 10/5/2014 6:36:23 PM EDT

[#43]

Didn't cry when Mom passed or at her funeral. She had fought stage 4 colon cancer for a year and the inevitable was happening. The wife and I were at her bedside as she passed and witnessed her peaceful passing. If anything it was a sense of relief that she was no longer in pain and that her struggle was over.

Dad's passing was also something expected, because the doctors told him he would eventually have a fatal heart attack if he didn't give up smoking. He kept smoking, even after two heart attacks, which was a self imposed death sentence in the late 1970s/early 1980s. With today's medical technology, he'd still be alive in those circumstances because all he needed was probably a couple of stents.

Again, it was almost a relief that the inevitable had finally taken place. I didn't cry over his death, but at his funeral when they folded the flag from his casket I almost lost it. I've found over the years and too many more funerals with military honors, that seeing the flag being folded is what gets to me most and will draw tears if I don't work to hold it back.

Posted: 10/5/2014 6:42:31 PM EDT

[#44]

Yes. My libtard commie fucking loser of an uncle, who hates capitalism, openly wishes death on gun owners and Republicans. Would love to choke out Sara Palin's down's son and Thinks the Tea Party people are the evil spawn of Satan and would love to see their children all thrown into woodchippers along with their bibles. he's a self loathing fucking loser who lives a jealous and bitter life due to his inability to be something. He's a 60 year old dope smoking buffoon who can't even lay off the weed long enough to land a job at Mickey D's. Fuck him and his kind.

Oh wait......I forgot. He's not dead yet.

Consider me a placeholder for this thread.

Posted: 10/5/2014 6:45:18 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
...not shed a single tear?

It's not because I didn't love this person, I loved her very much. I just feel at peace with the whole situation. It just feels odd because everyone else around me is a complete mess.

View Quote

I understand the mentality, but no, I've always cried. I didn't exactly lose my mind, but I cried.

Posted: 10/5/2014 6:49:04 PM EDT

[#46]

Yes, my Grandmother. She had been battling metastatic breast cancer and was in terrible pain. We all told her it was okay to go. I still miss going out to see her every June to celebrate her Birthday.

Posted: 10/5/2014 6:55:37 PM EDT

[#47]

My first wife was killed in a car wreck...it fucked me up emotional for several years. All others deaths in families are easy to deal with.

If something happened to one of my kids that's on a different level.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:02:31 PM EDT

[#48]

One grand father, Two grand mothers. Three uncles, 3 aunts, one as recently as last week. Daughter has miscarried twice

I don't cry.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:02:51 PM EDT

[#49]

My mother was gone long before her body stopped working. Cancer is a fuckin bitch. I miss my mom every day and I still tear up now and then at what she is missing out on in my life (my beautiful granddaughter being the biggest) but I did not cry the day she passed. In fact, it was a relief that her suffering was over. I simply kissed her goodbye on the forehead and awaited the funeral home.

Posted: 10/5/2014 7:07:44 PM EDT

[#50]

Lost both Mom and Dad about 6 months apart, never cried once.
They had lived a good full life, health declined rapidly , I was expecting it, they are in a much better place.

On the other hand ,
Lost a neice at 6 months old, almost 30 years ago - lump in my throat, watery eyes right now
same with a nephew, killed at 14, 5 years now.

ETA: correction, I did shed some tears at Dad's graveside service, when Taps were blown (Taps ALWAYS get a few tears, don't really know why)

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Have you ever had a family member pass away and... (Page 1 of 2)

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