Got hit at side of my heart and on my left leg....

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Got hit at side of my heart and on my left leg.... (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 4/18/2001 5:10:25 PM EDT

Both at same occasion, 9mm Parabellum was the caliber, four days in comma,I was in Service in the Brazilian Amazon, can't say much per "Classified Event"
Ed

Posted: 4/18/2001 5:13:21 PM EDT

[#1]

Hummm 2 posts total, Florida, AR,AK & UZI in his nicname. Do you suppose?[:D]

Posted: 4/18/2001 5:21:03 PM EDT

[#2]

OK Terrific!

Riiiiiight! Secret, Hush Hush stuff. We gotcha! Wink wink.

Posted: 4/18/2001 5:22:44 PM EDT

[#3]

Not sure, wouldn't his post have had this pic?
[;)]

[img]theguyshome.homestead.com/files/MattCombat.jpg[/img]

Posted: 4/18/2001 5:53:25 PM EDT

[#4]

I got hit up-side the head by a fetching English barmaid when I "nibbled" her...

Posted: 4/18/2001 5:55:20 PM EDT

[#5]

I was killed in Myanmar

Posted: 4/18/2001 6:10:14 PM EDT

[#6]

I too, suffered a fatal injury in service to my country. No, I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande

Posted: 4/18/2001 6:19:43 PM EDT

[#7]

Macho Grande is that near Mucho Gusto? I almost bought the farm on that sortie. We came in from the north below the radar. I didn't fly for years after that until I had to land an airliner after the crew ate some bad fish. Imagine my suprise when I saw my ex-girlfriend on the flight. Maybe you guys saw the film based on my experiences.

Ted

Posted: 4/18/2001 6:20:10 PM EDT

[#8]

I took a TOW Missile to the chest in order to save my beloved 1st sargeant.I was on lite duty for almost 2 full days.This happened as I was single handedly stemming the red tide of communist aggression.Like to tell you more but then I'd have to kill you.

Posted: 4/18/2001 6:38:52 PM EDT

[#9]

You serviced a Brazilian Amazon ???

Posted: 4/18/2001 6:45:38 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Both at same occasion, 9mm Parabellum was the caliber, four days in comma,I was in Service in the Brazilian Amazon, can't say much per "Classified Event"
Ed

View Quote

Four days in a comma???? Try spending a week in parentheses, or a month in Italics. You sissy lightweight.

I heard McUzi spent a month in a colon.[}:D]

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:14:12 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
I was killed in Myanmar

View Quote

Originally Posted By sherm8401

Quoted:
Both at same occasion, 9mm Parabellum was the caliber, four days in comma,I was in Service in the Brazilian Amazon, can't say much per "Classified Event"
Ed

View Quote

Four days in a comma???? Try spending a week in parentheses, or a month in Italics. You sissy lightweight.

I heard McUzi spent a month in a colon.

View Quote

You guys made me spit all over my computer screen.

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:19:29 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Both at same occasion, 9mm Parabellum was the caliber, four days in comma,I was in Service in the Brazilian Amazon, can't say much per "Classified Event"
Ed

View Quote

Four days in a comma???? Try spending a week in parentheses, or a month in Italics. You sissy lightweight.

I heard McUzi spent a month in a colon.[}:D]

View Quote

Oh my God, that is one of the funniest goddamned things I have ever read! My hat is off to you, sir!

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:21:06 PM EDT

[#13]

got me also.i'm wiping the mt.dew off the screen.mmk

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:23:36 PM EDT

[#14]

A witch turned me into a newt! (uh, I got better...)

Ni!!

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:25:49 PM EDT

[#15]

I lost a ball in a water hazard once and a damned aligator bit my hand off!

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:32:04 PM EDT

[#16]

Hey, I got thrown off a golf course once. They said I should'nt have been using the ball washer [b]that way[/b]. What do I know. They were dirty, I wanted to clean 'em.

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:34:14 PM EDT

[#17]

Sorry about the Mtn. Dew mmk. With more caffeine in it than most beverages, now your computer will be up all night.

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:34:47 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Hey, I got thrown off a golf course once. They said I should'nt have been using the ball washer [b]that way[/b]. What do I know. They were dirty, I wanted to clean 'em.

View Quote

Was it the kind of washer you "stroke" up and down or the crank kind(OUCH!)?

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:38:47 PM EDT

[#19]

Either way that's gonna leave a mark. Yikes!!

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:41:22 PM EDT

[#20]

I've seen a few amazon women I would like to service, but unfortunatly, I lost all my fingers is the African jungles trying to put out the fires that were boiling my fellow mercenaries. cant believe those damned pigme's will eat something as ugly as an X US marine. Yea, I lost a ball once but it was'nt in any water hazard. found it about twenty minutes later, come to think of it, maybe it was a moist hazard because it did cost me dearly

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:42:47 PM EDT

[#21]

That up down one is pretty traumatic on my balls. But the crank is too, what with the stiff bristles and all. Either way, I don't seem to get as much distance out of my balls after a vigorous washing. Ther's gotta be a better way.

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:46:34 PM EDT

[#22]

It's a reassuring thought that there are this many lunatics that own guns in this country. I definitely sleep better at night knowing I'm not alone in this world!

all I can say is.....Thank You!
Thank you all!!!

John[heavy]

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:51:03 PM EDT

[#23]

I too have been killed, it's the worst if you get dismembered after being killed. Last time tha happened I only had Elmer's glue available to reasemble.... couldn't take a bath for a while, the glue would dissolve..

The last time I was killed I was by my computer reading about a guy caught in Italics, I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair backward.... [BD]

But seriously, wait its all coming back to me I was attacked by a guy in his pj's with his rubber knife..[}:)]

Posted: 4/18/2001 7:56:53 PM EDT

[#24]

I shot a squirrel once with my 22lr. and wounded it, the squirrel managed to crawl down it's hole. Being 100% commited to being able to confirm the kill I stupidly stuck my hand down into the hole, instead of being greated by a nice fuzzy warm corpse I was greated by a thousand razor sharp teeth of fury and anger. Within a split second that furry little bastard managed to remove 3 fingers and I was fortunate enough to be left with a thumb and a trigger finger.

I learned an important lesson that day, there is no death to awful or weapon too powerful for using to shoot squirrel.

I'm about to make a valuable addition to my cache of anti-squirrel weaponry, 9mm +P+P+P+P+P+P "CrazyBastardMagnumButtStomper" so that I'll send those little bastard squirrels packing straight for hell with as little fuss and as much mess as possible.

Posted: 4/18/2001 8:02:42 PM EDT

[#25]

i was in Italics once,but i didn't like it because the women had hairy armpits.mmk

Posted: 4/18/2001 8:06:37 PM EDT

[#26]

Man I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Posted: 4/18/2001 8:20:58 PM EDT

[#27]

Tell me about it...........[:D]

Posted: 4/18/2001 8:25:45 PM EDT

[#28]

Both at same occasion, 9mm Parabellum was the caliber, four days in comma,I was in Service in the Brazilian Amazon, can't say much per "Classified Event"
Ed

View Quote

Good, I got you... I thought I missed. I've been wondering for years since I left the amazon. My jennings broke after its one and only 9mm +P+ round had fired. I was quickly hauled out by a stealth helicopter. I was then detained by the Chinese and tortured for 8 years until I swam home from Beijing.

Just a warning if you go to Brazil: the Chinese and Afghanis are operating a top secret installation there.

Posted: 4/18/2001 8:39:30 PM EDT

[#29]

Yeah *scoff* I got shot back in 'Nam. Served in '73, born in '79. Yup, I was such a hotshot that I was raking charlies with .30 caliber before I was even born. Hell *sniff* I wasn't even an embryio yet, but man what a badass I was too. They called me "Single Cell Steve", that's right. Oh sure, I may have started as a rookie in the beginning, but I tell ya: when those cells started splittin' and forming early tissue matter, whooaaa boy look out ya Commie bastards. So damn small, they couldn't see me...got em every time.

Oh, as far as gettin shot, yeah I bullet fragment to my prenatal-underdeveloped kidney. Had to walk from camp to the med. outpost and back to camp, 10 miles, horizontal rain, uphill both ways....I was a tough ol' protozoan.

Jew~

Posted: 4/18/2001 11:13:36 PM EDT

[#30]

I was the guy that rode the A-bomb down in that Peter Sellers movie. Put me in a coma for 2 years...but I can't talk about it.

Posted: 4/18/2001 11:20:55 PM EDT

[#31]

Can't talk about it? Ken, BUBBE, your on film, I seen the whole thing myself. You went down like a champ, a hootin' an' a hollerin! I was so proud. I hope I can go out like that someday. You must have had good sunblock on.

Posted: 4/18/2001 11:23:57 PM EDT

[#32]

I had gas once.....it took nearly 3 whole TUMS before it went away!!

Randall Flag

Posted: 4/19/2001 12:48:42 AM EDT

[#33]

I once was drawn and quartered , right after being beheaded. I thought to myself "This is enough". After I gathered my thoughts(and body parts) I quickly put my ninja training to good use. Yea that was me that wiped out that whole herd of Mongols singel handely , I later rode a lighting bolt, swam to the bottom of the sea, ate red hot coals, and yea I'm the guy who stopped the Iraqi APC with one shot from my .50. And don't even ask me about the
"classified" stuff.[:D]

Posted: 4/19/2001 2:26:52 AM EDT

[#34]

I pricked my finger once. But i never fingered my prick.

Posted: 4/19/2001 2:47:45 AM EDT

[#35]

uglygun,

Next time clear the hole with a M67 first, before you ever go stick you hand into ANY unknown holes!

Then look for whats left of the squirrel [xx(]

[grenade]

Posted: 4/19/2001 3:10:44 AM EDT

[#36]

I used to go out with this chick that was in Desert Storm. She never was wounded bad enough to be in a colon, but she did wind up in a period for a while.

I didn't know McUzi was in a colon.... That explains his web page: www.C:

Just kiddin McU... Hey!... Keep that f*ckin thing away from me!!!!

Posted: 4/19/2001 4:03:33 AM EDT

[#37]

What a way to start the day. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Thanks

Posted: 4/19/2001 4:44:09 AM EDT

[#38]

The nut..er...night crew!
You are a bunch of funny lunatics.
Keep it up,God knows I need a laugh![:)]

Posted: 4/19/2001 5:00:55 AM EDT

[#39]

I also got wounded in the gulf war. I was impaled by a paper clip that was planted by the Iraqie forces. It was meant for my CO but I saw it first and jumped on it saving his life. I was on a classified mission which involved lots of paperwork. It doesn't sound dangerous, but let me tell you, it was tough! I won the Congressional Medal of Honor for my sacrafice.

Posted: 4/19/2001 5:02:14 AM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Both at same occasion, 9mm Parabellum was the caliber, four days in comma,I was in Service in the Brazilian Amazon, can't say much per "Classified Event"
Ed

View Quote

Four days in a comma???? Try spending a week in parentheses, or a month in Italics. You sissy lightweight.

I heard McUzi spent a month in a colon.[}:D]

View Quote

Possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen here.

Posted: 4/19/2001 9:23:35 AM EDT

[#41]

Hey sherm8404, What kind of colon was that?
::::: or A$$hole???

Posted: 4/19/2001 10:45:17 AM EDT

[#42]

I personally stepped on 32 anti tank and a couple bouncing bettys' to save the patrons in the mall from certain death after a terroist laid them in front of Old Navy, luckily the Mayors son-who I saved in an earlier incident was there to sew my legs back on with fishing string(gander mountain was right next door) and zippers from the old navy fleece vest (i guess it really is 'hip to zip'). You did not read about this because old navy did not want the negative publicity-they have deep pockets...literaly, especially in their crew pants...which I invented.

Posted: 4/19/2001 11:31:30 AM EDT

[#43]

Originally Posted By madman kirk:
i was in Italics once,but i didn't like it because the women had hairy armpits.mmk

View Quote

Italics, eh?

Posted: 4/19/2001 12:07:31 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
Both at same occasion, 9mm Parabellum was the caliber, four days in comma,I was in Service in the Brazilian Amazon, can't say much per "Classified Event"
Ed

View Quote

I had heard that being shot by a 9mm was pesky and would leave a nasty bruise. I have never heard of anyone else being in a "comma." I did have a friend who was married to a woman named Dorothy (Dot for short) and he was in her when she had her period. Does that count for anything?

Posted: 4/19/2001 12:11:36 PM EDT

[#45]

Yeah, back when I was in "NAM" I was in a tough situtation. Charlie had wiped out my whole unit but I managed to take out 75 of 'em with my side arm but then I was out of ammo. All I had was my swiss army knife. So I pulled it out and opened it the the magnafying glass. I then used it and my flash light to create a laser death ray. I took 'em out. Charlie was begging me to stop. All this took place while I was eating my rations.

Posted: 4/19/2001 12:22:08 PM EDT

[#46]

My uncle Joe was an F4 pilot in Nam. He always had a 12 pack with him wherever he went. One day his plane got hit over Hanoi and he had to bail. He took his 1911, a very large knife, and his 12 pack. He drank the 12 pack while he drifted towards earth. When he hit the ground, he was surrounded by VC. He killed 7 of them with the 1911, 6 more with the knife, and the last 2 with his bare hands.
The moral of the story?????

Don't Fuck with Uncle Joe when he's Been Drinking!!!!

[beer]

Posted: 4/19/2001 12:28:05 PM EDT

[#47]

I was surrounded by a tribe of Indians at the Little Big Horn. Used all my rifle and pistol ammo and broke my knife. But I still attacked. Know what happened then?