A newspaper is a daily marvel, even a miracle. There are 1,730
of them published daily in the United States with a combined
circulation of nearly 62 million. Limitless possibilities exist
for error, human and mechanical. Add the crushing pressure of
deadlines, and it's surprising there aren't more mistakes.

When goofs do occur, editors scurry to print corrections, even
though we often prefer the misprint to the corrected version.
Here just a few samples:

1. IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting
enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make
the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words
"state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

2. It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt
Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

3. There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which
stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting.
It should have been trap shooting.

4.From a California bar association's newsletter: Correction --
the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will
be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please orrect to read "12 noon."

5. We apologize to our readers who received, through an
unfortunate computer error, the chest measurements of members
of the Female Wrestlers Association instead of the figures
on the sales of soybeans to foreign countries.

6. In Frank Washburn's March column, Rebecca Varney was erroneously
identified as a bookmaker. She is a typesetter.

7. There are two important corrections to the information in the
update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program.
First, the program will include meditation, not medication.
Second, it is experiential, not experimental.

8. Our article about Jewish burial customs contained an error:
Mourners' clothing is rent -- that is, torn -- not rented.

9. In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter
Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department
is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo."
We apologize for our mistake.

10. Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's
Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited. There is nothing to be
gained in trying to explain how this error occurred.

11. Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar
Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a
typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective
on the police farce.

12. Yesterday we mistakenly reported that a talk was given by
a bottle-scared hero. We apologize for the error. We obviously
meant that the talk was given by a battle-scarred hero.

13. In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler
Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca.
The Gazette regrets the error.

14. Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed
sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting
inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

15. In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number
of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's Southwestern
chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21,
jalapeno peppers.

16. The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton,
which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake
which we wish to correct.

Wwooo, my eyes are watering...

Fun-nee!


ByteTheBullet  (-: