After spending another morning throwing up all the acid in my stomach because I took my medicine too late I decided its time to look into surgery.

I know my options are these:
Linx
Fundoplication
TIF

I'd really like to hear from someone who has had the linx or TIF as I can't handle another surgery that takes me out for months like fundoplication.

Before you get surgery, my advice is to get a gastric emptying study done - This will determine if you have slow gastric emptying (food stays in stomach longer and can cause or contribute to the GERD).

I was about to have a Nissen Fundoplication when the surgeon said - should do that first - because if I tied it off on the top and its slow in the emptying, I could be in for painful experience - food stays in stomach too long causing irritation and pain and ulcers causing worse problems.

So ask for that if you haven't already.  I have to do 2X nexium per day and that really suppresses reflux as I have "high" reflux - goes higher and acid needs more cutting down that normal.  Also try motility drugs like motillium - can find it without prescription at inhousepharmacy

Motillium-Domperidone link

I always thought the Stretta Procedure looked to be the least invasive

The idea that large percentages of the population need to be on medications because their stomachs make too much acid or they have weak esophageal sphincters is ridiculous.  

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/gerd-symptoms-causes-natural-remedies/#axzz2yR9Dm6Jp

I have never even HEARD of someone who continued to have GERD after a month or so on the Paleo diet.  I'm not saying it's 100%, but ala the aliens guy it may as well be 100%.  

I dated a girl who had her colon removed because of ulcerative colitis, and she still had symptoms.  Take some time to let that soak in.  
The first time she ever felt normal was the first Saturday she had a big breakfast of bacon and eggs.  It made a nearly instant difference to not eat waffles for breakfast.  

The TLDR summary is that you have two choices-

1) Stay thin effortlessly and not be on medications for diabetes, cholesterol, blood pressure, and GERD while lowering your risk for heart disease and cancer.  The price is you'll have to do the work of learning a bunch of different ways to enjoy produce and meat.  

2) Still eat mac and cheese, and deal with all that heinous shit up there.  

Some people really dig mac and cheese though.  

Both of those are completely new to me. Thank you!
Seems as though gastroparesis could be entirely possible. Even better is that the stretta seems to help it! I guess I have some things to talk to the doctor about.

Tried the paleo diet after a coworker claimed it was a god send. Though it did help a little it did not help enough.

Paleo diet may help but not fix a hiatal hernia.

Interesting.  Assuming it's not a structural defect like hiatal hernia, there are tweaks to make as mentioned in the article.  If it's a gut flora problem that's not going to turn around overnight.  

Good luck.