I'll go to work, make money, buy more guns.
I'll get a new truck.
I'll get a girlfriend.
I'll get a life.
I'll step down as moderator because everybody is behaving, and I am feeling sad nobody is posting good porno links anymore. (you wish!)
The apocalypse will take place, once and for all proving the wisdom of keeping BOBs.
The military and BATF approve civilian sales of a semiautomatic version of MetalStorm.
Sarah Brady rasps something about 20 foot long, 10,000lbs guns being the choice of criminals, but nobody can understand her through the coughing. She is offered another cigarette, then bums a light.
I'll die in a nuclear explosion, even though I am under my nuclear protection tarp. Tapco reimburses me for $23.98, but refuses to reimburse shipping costs because it wasn't in the original deal. I try to sue, but because of death induced loss of mental faculties and dexterity, I neither can tell EricTheHun the problem (he will have trouble understanding me) nor write the newspaper about it (I keep dropping the pencil). I try to call an AR15.com Army Fire Mission but Goatboy's new "Live Posters Only" policy (enforced through programming), my post keeps getting rejected. The worms get me. All the Pretty Girls of Austin mourn my untimely death with much knashing of teeth and wailing.
Osama calls off his Terrorism Death Squads because Ghandi called him up and convinced him of the righteousness of a more peaceful path. Osama calls GWB and offers his help in tracking down rogue terrorists.
McUzi wanders into South Central L.A. and is immediately set upon by angry blacks and Jews. McUzi barely escapes with his life, but his attackers got all his porno.
FrankTheSpank mainstreams what previously was considered a sick and disgusting fetish. Hundreds of movies are made about the fetish.
Thebeekeeper1 finally gets sick enough of all the teasing from the member IBTL, and locks the entire site. Not even Goatboy can figure out how he did it.
sig230 is the last moderator to purchase an AR15. DoubleFeed had purchased his a few days before Christmas '02.
FrankSquid takes the plunge and joins the Navy, entering the SEAL service and quickly rising to the top. He also runs the SEAL galley, serving his world famous fish.
Steyr AUG, Lordtrader and RBAD form a porno multimedia company.
Striker moves to Texas and buys a 1969 Dodge Charger, claiming it "creams an IROC on the quarter mile, and does it while never touching the ground. Landing's a bitch though."
Democratic Underground finally figures out that 2/3rds of their membership is moles from AR15.com. They subsequently attempt to infiltrate AR15.com, but upon opening the front page they all pass out from fright from the pictures of guns. They never come back.
President Lott thanks his supporters for helping through the tough times, and thanks God for a White Christmas.