We always hear "the rules" from the female side.  Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note these rules are all numbered 1 ON PURPOSE!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you.  Live with it.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!  Just say it!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, and you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
   
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!  
   
1. Sundays equals Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
   
1. Don't cut your hair, ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with
her.
   
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
   
1. Crying is blackmail
   
1. We don't remember dates. Boldly mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
   
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes, tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
good with your dress?
   
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
   
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is why you have girlfriends.
   
1. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
   
1. Check your oil please.
   
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
   
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
   
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
   
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
   
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
   
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first 2 months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
       
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
   
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
   
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like
nothing is wrong. We know you're lying, but it's not worth the hassle.
   
1. If you ask a question to which you don't want an answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
   
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as, navel lint, shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
   
1. You have enough clothes.
   
1. You have too many shoes.
   
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
   
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
   
1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't matter what the hell they're
saying anyway.
   
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind?
it's like camping.

I have told her Mojo...And she's still here after 14 years of wedded "bliss"....But she still doesn't listen! [:D]

She does!  And the only reason she does is because she won't delegate that task to our 11 year old son....I've told her....but she doesn't listen!

i like #1.    [:D]


actually, the last one is my favorite...

What is that you wrote? My eyes are sure getting bad!  You wouldn't know of a good optometrist would you? [:D]  I didn't say that I don't listen...My name is Stupid Tucker, not Stupid Fvcker!