User Panel
Posted: 12/14/2013 1:51:23 PM EDT
Dear Polly,
I feel sick just writing this, and I don't want to lose something good, so here goes: I'm a 34-year-old single mother of a beautiful, sweet, and healthy three-year-old boy. I never imagined having kids, but accidentally became pregnant three months into a destructive relationship. I kept the child and eventually got rid of the man (with the help of a domestic violence counselor and a restraining order), which was a healthy decision. You see, healthy decisions are not my forte. With a few exceptions, I usually date the damaged bad boy, the alcoholic who needs rescuing, or the tortured artist. I scrapped all that when I had my son, and haven't dated since removing baby daddy from my life 2 years ago. Until recently. Five months ago, I met a man at my sister's wedding (one of the groomsmen), and we connected. Talked all night, laughing like crazy, connected. We hugged briefly at the end of the evening and we both felt it was worth pursuing. He lives 1400 miles away from me, and we began an email correspondence, sharing our relationship history, likes and dislikes, and getting to know each other. We have a lot in common. We fell in love. We made plans for him to relocate to my city and move in together. We decided all this before spending a great deal of physical time with each other. He's visited once a month for the past five months, and the trips have gone from elated, nervous excitedness to awkward arguing and annoyance. He is sensitive, kind, attentive, and doting. He is so very patient and loving with my child. Because of these traits, I find myself feeling less attracted to him physically. He seems meek. It is truly something sick. I have a hard time looking at him on occasion, because every little quiver, every timid step, every noise he makes while eating makes my skin crawl. He follows me around and paws at me. He is far less experienced than I am in the bedroom, and yet I do not know how to let him know what I like, because he is not keeping up with me in that department. I don't have a lot going on, aside from an unsatisfying job, my son, and my love of animals. I don't have the financial resources to pursue hobbies or interests, and this man offers stability. I love him, but I'm not sure why I'm so uncontrollably moody around him, and why he has turned me off. He is so gentle—the gentle man I always thought I wanted, because underneath it all I'm gentle, too—but I'm pushing away and I don't know if I love myself enough to make this work. I have tried talking to him about this and he just apologizes and says he feels out of his element. He picks up on my annoyance which makes him feel uncomfortable, which triggers a neediness, which I find unattractive. I don't want my son to have a bad boy for a father figure, but I don't want to resent my lover over petty things. Are these petty things? Is love about being able to be annoyed by someone, and loving them anyway? I tell myself that I have a good man—and I don't want to lose him—but how can I really snap out of this? I feel terrible, ungrateful, and confused.? Thanks for listening. Annoyed View Quote http://www.theawl.com/2013/12/ask-polly-i-am-severely-chafed-by-my-gentle-compassionate-boyfriend |
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Child princess stuck in an adult body. She is entitled to whatever it is she wants...yet she oesnt know what that is.
Pretty prevelant, unfortunately. |
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women want men.
make sure you deliver. Because if you ain't it, she is going to find someone who is. regardless your relationship status. I applaud this woman for simply being honest. |
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View Quote Yep, women are fucking aliens. Frankly, I've not found many women who don't respond well to a hard slap across the ass... |
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It's my opinion/experience that a lot of women out there like bad boys. They are thrilling, exciting and most importantly they are looked at as projects. Projects as in those women think they are going to be "the" one to "fix" them.
Then after 2 or 3 kids they finally realise they can't..........? |
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She should dump him, put the child up for adoption, get herself sterilized, and be the low-down dirty whore she longs to be. The world would be a better place.
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Quoted:
Yes she does, she says it in the highlighted sentences, she's tired of her pussy boyfriend because she wants a real man in the house. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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yet she doesnt know what that is. Yes she does, she says it in the highlighted sentences, she's tired of her pussy boyfriend because she wants a real man in the house. The 'real man' that she had to get a restraining order against? |
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Quoted:
As Dr. Swingset would say... Bitch got the crazy gene. View Quote Nothing crazy about it. hard wired biology. women want to fuck a strong man to create strong children that will live. That shit is biological. they can overcome it mentally, at this woman has determined she must. But at the end of the day her body screams out for a strong man to protect her, provide for her, lead her, and, yes, fuck her ever living brains out. |
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Sometimes, often times, dating relationships don't work out. It is no ones fault, certainly not the woman's fault in the thread, but do go on Arfcom, don't disappoint.
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American Women like douchebags.
Everyone should be aware of this by now. This is also why i am having a hard time getting the puss I wasn't brought up to talk to woman like they are shit and as a result i suffer |
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A lot of women want to be treated like crap, took me a long time to figure that out.
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Quoted:
Nothing crazy about it. hard wired biology. women want to fuck a strong man to create strong children that will live. That shit is biological. they can overcome it mentally, at this woman has determined she must. But at the end of the day her body screams out for a strong man to protect her, provide for her, lead her, and, yes, fuck her ever living brains out. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
As Dr. Swingset would say... Bitch got the crazy gene. Nothing crazy about it. hard wired biology. women want to fuck a strong man to create strong children that will live. That shit is biological. they can overcome it mentally, at this woman has determined she must. But at the end of the day her body screams out for a strong man to protect her, provide for her, lead her, and, yes, fuck her ever living brains out. Wisdom. |
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It's my opinion/experience that a lot of women out there like bad boys. View Quote You don't have to be a criminal to have your woman become infatuated with your masculinity. I always suggest that anyone interested in this sort of thing, should listen to the Black Phillip show. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hAmCjqVkFg&list=PLE55F580AB012D5E3 |
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Bitch needs to adopt the kid out to a sane family, Get fixed and go back to the abusive boyfriend......they deserve each other
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Dear Annoyed,
You can't have it both ways. Sincerely, Every 'Nice Guy' Ever. |
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Quoted:
The 'real man' that she had to get a restraining order against? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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yet she doesnt know what that is. Yes she does, she says it in the highlighted sentences, she's tired of her pussy boyfriend because she wants a real man in the house. The 'real man' that she had to get a restraining order against? I'm not saying she's a catch, but she's definitely right in her mindset. |
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Quoted:
She should dump him, put the child up for adoption, get herself sterilized, and be the low-down dirty whore she longs to be. The world would be a better place. View Quote Naw, he just needs to dominate her and then she can long for the other him while he's doing that. But seriously....he just has to read the cues for when she wants what she wants, then play to that. Dude is just lazy and not totally committed to her. |
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View Quote He ain't the type, I'd put money on it. If he is even remotely close to her age, then we have a good idea of the kind of guy he is. Her description of him just reinforces that. He's the kind of guy who after she dumps him, he'll send her 1,000 voicemails, texts, love-letters, etc begging to come back, how much he misses her, and all that horse-shit. |
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Quoted: Yes she does, she says it in the highlighted sentences, she's tired of her pussy boyfriend because she wants a real man in the house, or at least, she wants to be dicked by a real man. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: yet she doesnt know what that is. Yes she does, she says it in the highlighted sentences, she's tired of her pussy boyfriend because she wants a real man in the house, or at least, she wants to be dicked by a real man. She wants a real man to ravish her in bed until it blows up and ends terribly. She sounds like a friend of mine who makes poor choices as well. She always went after the bad boys and either cheat on or beaten. She is stubborn and will not listen to any man, anyone that doesn't have the strong outgoing in your face bad boy attitude gets walked on. It is a no win situation no matter what she does. |
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Quoted:
The 'real man' that she had to get a restraining order against? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
yet she doesnt know what that is. Yes she does, she says it in the highlighted sentences, she's tired of her pussy boyfriend because she wants a real man in the house. The 'real man' that she had to get a restraining order against? Weird ain't it? She really loved him except for the abuse and instability and being inattentive to her needs. |
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View Quote But is she into being choked? |
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Same letter as above, with some male commentary:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/chicks-despise-niceguys/ Chicks Despise Niceguys December 14, 2013 by CH Horror is a woman’s secret id revealed. Unenlightened men recoil, and even the women who allow the full expression of their deepest feelings are revolted by the specter of their own fallen desire. I am severely chafed by my gentle, compassionate boyfriend. I feel sick just writing this, and I don’t want to lose something good, so here goes: I’m a 34-year-old single mother of a beautiful, sweet, and healthy three-year-old boy. I never imagined having kids, but accidentally became pregnant three months into a destructive relationship. I kept the child and eventually got rid of the man (with the help of a domestic violence counselor and a restraining order), which was a healthy decision. You see, healthy decisions are not my forte. With a few exceptions, I usually date the damaged bad boy, the alcoholic who needs rescuing, or the tortured artist. I scrapped all that when I had my son, and haven’t dated since removing baby daddy from my life 2 years ago. Until recently. Five months ago, I met a man at my sister’s wedding (one of the groomsmen), and we connected. Talked all night, laughing like crazy, connected. We hugged briefly at the end of the evening and we both felt it was worth pursuing. He lives 1400 miles away from me, and we began an email correspondence, sharing our relationship history, likes and dislikes, and getting to know each other. We have a lot in common. We fell in love. We made plans for him to relocate to my city and move in together. We decided all this before spending a great deal of physical time with each other. He’s visited once a month for the past five months, and the trips have gone from elated, nervous excitedness to awkward arguing and annoyance. He is sensitive, kind, attentive, and doting. He is so very patient and loving with my child. Because of these traits, I find myself feeling less attracted to him physically. He seems meek. It is truly something sick. I have a hard time looking at him on occasion, because every little quiver, every timid step, every noise he makes while eating makes my skin crawl. He follows me around and paws at me. He is far less experienced than I am in the bedroom, and yet I do not know how to let him know what I like, because he is not keeping up with me in that department. I don’t have a lot going on, aside from an unsatisfying job, my son, and my love of animals. I don’t have the financial resources to pursue hobbies or interests, and this man offers stability. I love him, but I’m not sure why I’m so uncontrollably moody around him, and why he has turned me off. He is so gentle—the gentle man I always thought I wanted, because underneath it all I’m gentle, too—but I’m pushing away and I don’t know if I love myself enough to make this work. I have tried talking to him about this and he just apologizes and says he feels out of his element. He picks up on my annoyance which makes him feel uncomfortable, which triggers a neediness, which I find unattractive. I don’t want my son to have a bad boy for a father figure, but I don’t want to resent my lover over petty things. Are these petty things? Is love about being able to be annoyed by someone, and loving them anyway? I tell myself that I have a good man—and I don’t want to lose him—but how can I really snap out of this? I feel terrible, ungrateful, and confused. A woman is as viscerally repulsed by a sensitive niceguy as a man is by a fat woman. If you want to know what a woman feels when a niceguy dotes on her in needy supplication, just remember how you feel when you see a land whale bend over in short shorts to pick up a donut crumb. The stimuli are different, but the disgust reflex is the same. And the reflex serves the same underlying reproductive purpose in both sexes: to avoid contamination of the egg with inferior sperm, and to avoid fertilizing and investing resources in inferior eggs. Most women aren’t capable of this sort of self-reflection, and with good reason; if women had to grapple with their malignant sexual natures on a regular basis, they might very well go crazy. Or crazier than they already are. From an evolutionary perspective, mental stopgaps (aka the hamster) that block access to understanding of primal limbic impulses is a useful adaptation for ensuring women capitalize when the superior seed of self-driven, aloof, challenging, emotionally distant and often unkind men is available to them. If you are a gentle, compassionate niceguy… a man of God…, a woman will become, inexplicably to you, cranky and moody if she’s in a relationship with you. You will be confused and wonder why she won’t listen to reason about all the good you do for her, and then you will blame her for your pain, unless you are an emasculated quasi-man, in which case you’ll direct the blame upon yourself. And through all the emotional ups and downs, the turmoil that is out of your control to manage, the cold sexlessness that feeds your spiraling resentment and unfocused rage, the microinsults that pile higher atop your wounded dignity with every increasingly despairing day together, the misplaced guilt that poisons your soul… through all that punishment, punishment that on some days will seem less bearable than the acute pain of physical torture, one demonic truth pulsates at the center of the chaos: She has as little power over her feelings as you do. But there is redemption, persecuted niceguy. You just have to know where to look. View Quote |
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Sounds like this guy might be a beta male. He needs to pee on her leg.
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'Instead of playing the stupid 'men need to be men' and the 'bitches be sluts card' I'm sticking with the communication, how the fuck does it work card.
He is far less experienced than I am in the bedroom, and yet I do not know how to let him know what I like, because he is not keeping up with me in that department. I'm going to take damaged good for 500, Alex. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Dear Annoyed, You'll be wanting a nice man when you hook up with Billy Badass. You can't have it both ways. Sincerely, Every 'Nice Guy' Ever. Deej nails it. He's wrong. She has the nice guy with the fiscal comfort, and she's getting ready to leave his ass. |
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need to find the dude and let him know this lady wants him for his money.
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Quoted: Nothing crazy about it. hard wired biology. women want to fuck a strong man to create strong children that will live. That shit is biological. they can overcome it mentally, at this woman has determined she must. But at the end of the day her body screams out for a strong man to protect her, provide for her, lead her, and, yes, fuck her ever living brains out. View Quote Many simply misinterpret douchebaggery for strength. Plenty of men do the same. |
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Quoted:
Same letter as above, with some male commentary: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/chicks-despise-niceguys/ View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Same letter as above, with some male commentary: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/chicks-despise-niceguys/ Chicks Despise Niceguys December 14, 2013 by CH Horror is a woman’s secret id revealed. Unenlightened men recoil, and even the women who allow the full expression of their deepest feelings are revolted by the specter of their own fallen desire. I am severely chafed by my gentle, compassionate boyfriend. I feel sick just writing this, and I don’t want to lose something good, so here goes: I’m a 34-year-old single mother of a beautiful, sweet, and healthy three-year-old boy. I never imagined having kids, but accidentally became pregnant three months into a destructive relationship. I kept the child and eventually got rid of the man (with the help of a domestic violence counselor and a restraining order), which was a healthy decision. You see, healthy decisions are not my forte. With a few exceptions, I usually date the damaged bad boy, the alcoholic who needs rescuing, or the tortured artist. I scrapped all that when I had my son, and haven’t dated since removing baby daddy from my life 2 years ago. Until recently. Five months ago, I met a man at my sister’s wedding (one of the groomsmen), and we connected. Talked all night, laughing like crazy, connected. We hugged briefly at the end of the evening and we both felt it was worth pursuing. He lives 1400 miles away from me, and we began an email correspondence, sharing our relationship history, likes and dislikes, and getting to know each other. We have a lot in common. We fell in love. We made plans for him to relocate to my city and move in together. We decided all this before spending a great deal of physical time with each other. He’s visited once a month for the past five months, and the trips have gone from elated, nervous excitedness to awkward arguing and annoyance. He is sensitive, kind, attentive, and doting. He is so very patient and loving with my child. Because of these traits, I find myself feeling less attracted to him physically. He seems meek. It is truly something sick. I have a hard time looking at him on occasion, because every little quiver, every timid step, every noise he makes while eating makes my skin crawl. He follows me around and paws at me. He is far less experienced than I am in the bedroom, and yet I do not know how to let him know what I like, because he is not keeping up with me in that department. I don’t have a lot going on, aside from an unsatisfying job, my son, and my love of animals. I don’t have the financial resources to pursue hobbies or interests, and this man offers stability. I love him, but I’m not sure why I’m so uncontrollably moody around him, and why he has turned me off. He is so gentle—the gentle man I always thought I wanted, because underneath it all I’m gentle, too—but I’m pushing away and I don’t know if I love myself enough to make this work. I have tried talking to him about this and he just apologizes and says he feels out of his element. He picks up on my annoyance which makes him feel uncomfortable, which triggers a neediness, which I find unattractive. I don’t want my son to have a bad boy for a father figure, but I don’t want to resent my lover over petty things. Are these petty things? Is love about being able to be annoyed by someone, and loving them anyway? I tell myself that I have a good man—and I don’t want to lose him—but how can I really snap out of this? I feel terrible, ungrateful, and confused. A woman is as viscerally repulsed by a sensitive niceguy as a man is by a fat woman. If you want to know what a woman feels when a niceguy dotes on her in needy supplication, just remember how you feel when you see a land whale bend over in short shorts to pick up a donut crumb. The stimuli are different, but the disgust reflex is the same. And the reflex serves the same underlying reproductive purpose in both sexes: to avoid contamination of the egg with inferior sperm, and to avoid fertilizing and investing resources in inferior eggs. Most women aren’t capable of this sort of self-reflection, and with good reason; if women had to grapple with their malignant sexual natures on a regular basis, they might very well go crazy. Or crazier than they already are. From an evolutionary perspective, mental stopgaps (aka the hamster) that block access to understanding of primal limbic impulses is a useful adaptation for ensuring women capitalize when the superior seed of self-driven, aloof, challenging, emotionally distant and often unkind men is available to them. If you are a gentle, compassionate niceguy… a man of God…, a woman will become, inexplicably to you, cranky and moody if she’s in a relationship with you. You will be confused and wonder why she won’t listen to reason about all the good you do for her, and then you will blame her for your pain, unless you are an emasculated quasi-man, in which case you’ll direct the blame upon yourself. And through all the emotional ups and downs, the turmoil that is out of your control to manage, the cold sexlessness that feeds your spiraling resentment and unfocused rage, the microinsults that pile higher atop your wounded dignity with every increasingly despairing day together, the misplaced guilt that poisons your soul… through all that punishment, punishment that on some days will seem less bearable than the acute pain of physical torture, one demonic truth pulsates at the center of the chaos: She has as little power over her feelings as you do. But there is redemption, persecuted niceguy. You just have to know where to look. |
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Quoted:
He's wrong. She has the nice guy with the fiscal comfort, and she's getting ready to leave his ass. View Quote How so? She's gone around with Billy Badass, she's used to having a badass, and she pined for a nice guy, has him, but he's 'too nice.'" It's a line I've heard so many times before. So yeah, she's stupid to leave him. Cannot have it both ways. |
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Since I am older than most on this board, I have seen a lot life.
I notice that there is a group of women who are attracted to "bad boys" because they find something attractive in the danger and unpredictability of this kind of man. Often they hold kind, gentle, loving, dependable men in contempt and view them as being "boring." So then they bitch when the dangerous, unpredictable man knocks the shit out of them or runs around with other women. They may eventually grow out of this stage and want to settle down, but by then they have usually been knocked up two or three times by two or more of these dangerous, exciting, unstable bad boys and they are carrying a LOT of baggage with them. One of my secretaries out at Hanford, Washington some years back was a perfect example of this. She got knocked up in high school and had a short, unsuccessful marriage with that guy. Then, she took up with a divorced, alcoholic truck driver who was, himself, divorced with several previous kids. and she promptly got knocked up by him and ended up divorced again because he could not provide the material wealth she wanted to live in. So, every time we would hire a new, young scientist, she would find a way to discreetly ask me if he was married as she was obviously looking for a new sugar daddy who had a good income to support her and her kids. Trust me, she was definitely very good looking but one look in those crazy brown eyes and you saw TROUBLE there. These women often wake up when they approach middle age and then regret their situation often. Sometimes they do get lucky and hook a kind, gentle, decent, stable, loving man that treats them like a queen. Sometimes they don't and continue to struggle for the rest of their lives. I guess every decision in life has consequences, no? |
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Quoted:
Many simply misinterpret douchebaggery for strength. Plenty of men do the same. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Nothing crazy about it. hard wired biology. women want to fuck a strong man to create strong children that will live. That shit is biological. they can overcome it mentally, at this woman has determined she must. But at the end of the day her body screams out for a strong man to protect her, provide for her, lead her, and, yes, fuck her ever living brains out. Many simply misinterpret douchebaggery for strength. Plenty of men do the same. I am not justifying her douchebag attraction. I am explaining her being repulsed by the beta male. |
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So she likes asshole and is dating a wimp. She is not smart enough to see there is some room there in the middle? She doesnt have to go from one extreme to the other.
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A lot of guys like getting treated like shit too.
It's nothing new |
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Sounds like he needs to take a training course from a pimp named slickback. Raise up that pimp hand foo.
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