How can I Iook a stripper in the eyes now? Or the girls at the birkenstock store.

strippers have eyes?

Innocence

How can I look at a girl's asshole now and not think "can I put my fist in that?"

Of course, that is where they cry

Never even knew they had anything above the titty line.

Grammar Nats, i.

You could always gouge the eyes out.

I thought it was pretty tame compared to what he/she could have posted.

You cretin

Old fart telling a similar yet somewhat unrelated story....



When we were at a gunshow out of town, we stopped in to eat at a diner for dinner. My brother, his wife(a doctor), Zach (employee) and myself. Me and Zach were on one side of the booth, brother and wife on the other side. Waitress stops by to give us menus and take our drink order. After she leaves Zach makes a comment about how hot the waitress was, and I tell him she is married as I took a quick glimpse at her hand and saw a ring.



Brother's wife says, "She was also very much pregnant." Zach and me had a WTF look on our face, and I asked her how the hell she could tell the waitress was pregnant? She replied, "Boys if you would look somewhere other than her boobs you might have noticed as well..." I said that I looked at her ring finger and Zach said we had both looked at her ass as she walked away to get drinks. Brother's wife sighed and told us to try and look harder next time.



Waitress comes back with our drinks, and Holy Hell, what do you know? If you actually looked at her she had a baby bump the size of a good watermelon.



 

A lesson in situational awareness?