This weekend at happy hour, a large group of friends and I were sitting on the patio eating appetizers and drinking spirits.
An irrational acting man (read: drunk/drugged up loser) came over and leaned over the brick wall. He was boisterous and disorderly, yelling about George Bush, and how he loved "chocolate women, vanilla women, oriental women...." Everyone laughed, and resumed their conversations.
The guy then jumps the wall, and kneels down in front of my sister and my girlfriend. He grabs their hands and attempts to kiss them, while yelling "I'm getting a rise in my Levi's! Rise In MY LEVI'S!!!"
Great. Now I have to do something. I tell him that he needs to move along. No response.
I tell him to leave. He gets up, and says, "Okay, okay." But he stays there mumbling to the women.
I then tell him to "Get the F^ck out of here! NOW!" He's starting to move away, back towards the wall. Then he turns and says under his breath, "I'm going to kick your ass."
I asked him to repeat himself, and he takes up a boxing-type stance as he repeats himself. Then he cocks his hand back like he's going to attempt one of those big ole haymaker punches.
I closed in on him, tossed him over the brick wall, and watched him fall about 8 feet onto his back (the wall was deeper on his side). I watched over him ready to pounce, if he acted up, or presented a threat, but it was clearly over.
That's when the liberal came to his rescue! She cried out in horror, "What are you doing?! Leave him alone!" She scrambled over the wall, and went to help him up. She is leering over at me, telling the man that _I_ am the a$$hole. He latches onto her and she gives him a hug, but looks a bit frightened when he doesn't want to let go.
She chats with him for a bit and then comes back into the bar, with this noble look as if she just saved the world with her caring.
The manager didn't call police or kick us out or anything. He seemed pleased that I had rid his establishment of the worthless piece of $hit.