I've joked here many times about being a "redneck" but I honestly thought that wearing a tie to work exempted me from really being one.  Sadly, I'm reasonably sure I've crossed the threshold, at least according to this list.  I put a "*" next to the ones that apply.  I had to 'splain a few.  Do you guys think I crossed the line somewhere back?  [:(]

[b]You Know You're A. Redneck When ... 2002 Edition


*1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

*2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

*3. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

*4. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

5. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

*6. You think the Nutcracker is something you did off  the high dive.

7. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

8. Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

9. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

*10. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

*11. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

*12. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

13. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

14. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

15. You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

16. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

*17. You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

18. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

19. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

20. You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

21. You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

22. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

*23. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. [/b] [red](I included this even though I refuse to drive a car.)[/red][b]

*24. You have a rag for a gas cap.[/b] [red](not now, but I did.)[/red]
[b]
*25. Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.[/b][red] (Okay, not my [u]father[/u] . . . )[/red][b]

26. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

27. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

28. You can spit without opening your mouth.

29. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
it.

30. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

*31. You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

32. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the
side.

33. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

34. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

35. You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

36. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

37. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of Kmart.

38. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you
home.

39. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $10,000 worth of improvement.

*40. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

*41. You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"

42. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

*43. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

44. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take
them out to see what it is.

[/b]


[red]Edit:  I had to remove the "*" from #13 or face a painful death.  [/red][:P]

You might be a redneck...

If the Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas you have in the tank.

If your idea of a fancy meal is pork rinds and a six pack (or moonpies and RC Cola).

IF you don't understand why anybody would drive anything but a truck.

If you understand that the country song "All The Rage In Paris" does not refer to a European city.

If you know deep in your heart that Willie Nelson is the finest singer/singwriter of the last hundred years.

If you use phrases like "Ass Rot Boy!" and it doesn't have anything to do with body parts or decay.

[:D]

the only thing troubling me is the fact you were in denial. Is it time for a redneck intervention?

Only if it involves 'possums in a sack or "snipe hunting."  

THERES SOMETHING WORSE THEN REDNECKS AND BEEKEEPER IS IT. A REDNECK MODERATOR.
beekeeper, us long time rednecks prefer to be called children of the soil. j/k