The power went off in my whole neighborhood. I powered down my computers to keep my ups units from bleeding dry.
Belted on my pistol, grabbed my flashlight from my truck and lit up some candles. I realized that I had neglected
to load up "emergency mags" from the last time I got out to the range. So, by candlelight, I loaded about 20 mags
and grabbed a couple of bandoleers of green tip on strippers, the whole time pissed because I was caught unprepared.
After I was all loaded I put out the candle and sat in the dark pleased that there was a good moon tonight and see
clearly outside for a good distance.

That's when I began to think something was wrong with me. A year ago I wouldn't have reacted this way.
Am I now some kind of paranoid "gun freak"? What happened to me? The power goes out and I'm
wide-eyed over the fact I find myself with only 2800+ rounds of 5.56, I should have MORE!!! I only have enough
emergency food and water for maybe 5 days, but at least the tank in the truck is full.
I shouldn't have to feel this way. THIS IS AMERICA!
Do I need a shrink?

~s0ulzer0

No. I felt the same way last time my power went out and I kept thinking, "damn, the concrete on the Ma Deuce gun port is still wet". [:D]

Are you trying to get killed!!!! Never Never Never light a candle. You should be able to load those mags in total darkness. Then put on the night vision goggles and wait behind the sandbag enclosure in your safe room.

LOL! It's not that I fear anything, or can't protect myself and property.
It's that - "Wow. Something in me changed" thing. I never used to freak out and think that the shit was hitting.
[:D]

I think the constitution says you have a right to defend yourself. If you feal threatened, do so. If your not out looking for trouble whats the big deal.
Just remember, there isnt something behind every corner/blackout. There could be...
There was a huge explosion near my house several months ago. Probably a sonic boom or the local limestone pit blasting. It was late at night, unusual and very loud. The limestone pit blasting usually only rumbles the ground with no noise.
I got my pistol first thing and went to chat with the neighbours about the noise.
Do what makes YOU feel safe. its your right.

Relax!!

Nothing bad happened so learn from it.

Being prepared should make you feel better during a crisis.. Not worse.. By being prepared you can relax in the green/yellow level as below.

Follow the white,green, yellow, red. rule...

White - not prepared. Not paying attention .
       You never want to be here.

Green - Aware of your surroundings - no danger
       Be here most of the time

Yellow - Alert. Something has attracted your attention. You not ready to fight, but you are focused.

Red - Threat Identified/Verified - Fight's on!

This is used for self defense, but works for me in situations like yours.

Be prepared to handle a bad situation, but don't let the thoughts that lead you to be prepared, make you paranoid.

oh, and buy a generator.. :)

C.g.

I do the same thing, power goes out-safe comes open,then its on to the generator & flashlights.I think I got into this habit after the Loma-P earthquake I experienced in CA.I was on the east side of SJ (bad place)not much damage,but total chaos & looting.Helped stand guard at a pharmacy near Story & KIng (Bad place):)

It IS America indeed, and bad things have been happening to Old Lady Liberty lately. I do think its a very responsible thing to be prepared as you are, I just hope you never have to use your 'rations'. As far as a Major disaster occurring, its not a matter of IF but When. Portable nuclear devices being sold on the black market, Plans for a low yield nuclear device can be downloaded of the net. Small pox strains are being manipulated possibly in your neighbors garage, anthrax is here as well. I don't think your rations can help you in these situations, they might let you live another day. Its after the disaster is where your problem arises, looting,hoarding stores will be empty, the dollar will drop so your money wont even be able to buy goods. You will be a refugee. What do they do? They leave. Add some gold to your stash to be prepared.

In Oct. 2001 I was living in downtown milwaukee on the east side of town near the lake. At about 9:30 one night I started hearing what sounded like big explosions outside, so I started putting on some cloths (was in bed for the night already) to go out and check it out when the lights went out. Man, I about shit myself at that with how on edge i'd been since 9/11. I hit the little "tap light" thing I keep in the bedroom and got dressed asap, stuck my 9mm and three mags in my pants pockets, slaped on my coat, grabbed my backpack of "get out of dodge" shit and headed outside for my car. I got outside and noticed no other lights out in other buildings. I heard more explosions, and saw a big ass fireworks display going on down by the lake. Pretty funny, it turns out that one of the restaurant guys ( i lived in an apartment above a restaurant) had flipped the main breaker switch for the apartment section of the building when he went to reset one of the restaurant ones that had tripped.

So you sat in the dark loading 600rds into magazines and you wonder if there's something wrong?  I'll tell you what's wrong:

1)You should already have had a flashlight in the house.  Preferably in each room.  Going to your truck to get a flashlight?...Please, what if the zombies were out there?

2)You lit candles.  Hmmm...big fire danger there.  Remember the lantern that started the fire at Waco?  You need to get yourself down to the store and buy some chem lights.  Besides, it's rumored that the green glow will confuse canibal zombies long enough for you to take action.

3)You loaded 600rds worth of mags.  Well, I don't know your set-up, but if you have 2800rds, what are you going to do with the other 2200?  Get yourself some bandoliers and some ammo cans so you can at least load more when you do empty those mags on the radioactive canibal zombies.  

3a.)You only have 20mags?

Seriously, if you feel uneasy about your actions, go seek profesional help.  If you have to sit in the dark and load 20mags to feel better, but have to go out to the truck just to get a flashlight, then you either haven't prepared adequately, or all the recent events are menifesting themselves into extreme behavior that you normally don't do.  

There's nothing wrong with being prepared.  In fact directing you energy towards prparing can actually provide a focus to regain the feeling of control in your life.  Many people have experienced a feeling of "loss of control" due to all the recent events.  Filling mags in your case allowed you to gain back that control.  If you feel like you need help, it's time to get some.  

If filling mags makes you feel better, then fill them, but at least put a damn flashlight INSIDE the house[:D]

Ross

LOL! [:D]

I had a flashlight in the house, but the batteries were about dead, light very dim.
The one in my truck was changed recently.

Yes, I own more that 20 mags, but I about wore my LULA out! Plus I had some (not much) ammo-to-go on strippers.

I agree - I was not at all prepared adequately.
I would've been zombie food!!

Thanks for the hug Ross!
[:D]

Edit: 600rnds...DAMN! it didn't seem like that much at the time. The pile of little white boxes
doesn't look that big...

I dunno, your reaction seems pretty average to me. I usually hit the ground running, guns ablaze, dressed in nothing but shades, a German army coat, jackboots and a smile.


Bet you didn't need /that/ visual :)

I agree - I shouldn't feel "weird" about being prepared. But - I have learned I need to be
prepared adequately for the future.

Thanks All!