It's 1:30 AM. You hear some rustling in your house. Upon investigation, you find this...

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - It's 1:30 AM. You hear some rustling in your house. Upon investigation, you find this... (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:38:07 PM EDT

Shes naked, drunk, and trying to crawl through your doggy door.

What do you do?

Story Link

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:39:48 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
http://kdfw.images.worldnow.com/images/22065700_BG1.jpg

Shes naked, drunk, and trying to crawl through your doggy door.

What do you do?

Story Link

Punt.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:39:52 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:

What do you do?

Is that a serious question?

You know what I would do...and what most here would do!

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:40:26 PM EDT

[#3]

I search for the dupe. But yeah, would hit.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:41:04 PM EDT

[#4]

Everyone knows that the only way through a doggy door is doggy style

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:43:02 PM EDT

[#5]

She only wanted to use the phone.

I would have let her use the phone. Duh.

Wait........In this scenario, am I single....... or what........

hmmmmm

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:43:33 PM EDT

[#6]

Set a 6 pack on the floor in front of her and ask how bad she wants it

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:43:36 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:

Punt.

This. Our a chair if I didn't have shoes on.

ETA: not guilty.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:44:44 PM EDT

[#8]

Not real guilty

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:45:38 PM EDT

[#9]

Crawling through the doggy door? Damn.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:45:43 PM EDT

[#10]

Make her airtight.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:46:15 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
http://kdfw.images.worldnow.com/images/22065700_BG1.jpg

Shes naked, drunk, and trying to crawl through your doggy door.

What do you do?

Story Link

Let her and see what happens from there.

I'm a young man that's single. I certainly wouldn't complain.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:46:17 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
http://kdfw.images.worldnow.com/images/22065700_BG1.jpg

Shes naked, drunk, and trying to crawl through your doggy door.

What do you do?

Story Link

Block the door, call the cops........and it might be wise to be watching the windows just in case she's a decoy.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
("Security alert, all decks. Female intruder, extremely dangerous. Security alert. All decks."--Spock, (w,stte), ST:TOS "That Which Survives")

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:47:34 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:

Quoted:
http://kdfw.images.worldnow.com/images/22065700_BG1.jpg

Shes naked, drunk, and trying to crawl through your doggy door.

What do you do?

Story Link

Block the door, call the cops........and it might be wise to be watching the windows just in case she's a decoy.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
("Security alert, all decks. Female intruder, extremely dangerous. Security alert. All decks."--Spock, (w,stte), ST:TOS "That Which Survives")

Wrong answer!

Spock? Really? Probably why he was still a virgin.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:50:24 PM EDT

[#14]

GD answer - Fuck 'er hurdurdur

Honest answer - Open the door for her, get her something to cover herself with, get her some water and saltines and see if I can get a family member's/roommate's phone number from her to let them know where to collect their stray. If I couldn't, then I'd contact the PD's non-emergency number and have them take care of it.

The last thing I need is a crazy, blacked-out female accusing me of rape or stealing/throwing up on my shit or something.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:53:23 PM EDT

[#15]

All i know is that I had an intruder so I gave them a whallop with my cricket bat.

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:55:08 PM EDT

[#16]

Does she have ID? Have her sign the consent form and get the party started

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:56:03 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Wrong answer!

Spock? Really? Probably why he was still a virgin.

Anyone in the world who uses female decoys, from pick pockets to terrorists and human bombers to assassination strike teams would love this crowd!
_________________________________________________________________________________
([After the mark gets picked by Harry by watching Sandy in a short skirt on an ascending escalator], "Beautiful," Harry looking up, "but I wouldn't break my neck over it.", (w,stte), "Harry in Your Pocket")

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:56:45 PM EDT

[#18]

Two to the chest, one to the head.

Good dose of protein shots if ya catch my drift

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:58:29 PM EDT

[#19]

take pic

post to ARFCOM with poll

???

Profit

Posted: 4/24/2013 11:59:32 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Make her airtight.

Posted: 4/25/2013 12:01:22 AM EDT

[#21]

I would tell my wife... Can we keep it ?

Posted: 4/25/2013 12:11:33 AM EDT

[#22]

First reply wins again.

Posted: 4/25/2013 12:46:51 AM EDT

[#23]

Skeet skeet skeet!

Posted: 4/25/2013 12:47:45 AM EDT

[#24]

It rubs the lotion on its skin...

... or it gets the hose.

Posted: 4/25/2013 1:33:59 AM EDT

[#25]

I'd offer her some coffee and try to get to the bottom of the situation. Unless she became hostile, I'd be friendly. Would want someone to do the same if I were in a similar state.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 4/25/2013 1:35:57 AM EDT

[#26]

Make a phone call.
"Zed? Maynard. Yeah, the spider just caught a couple of flies."

Kharn

Posted: 4/25/2013 1:48:56 AM EDT

[#27]

And the nation's economy recovers with credit due to the high demand for doggie doors.

Posted: 4/25/2013 1:57:58 AM EDT

[#28]

Damn! And here I am with a wife and no basement!!!

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:08:10 AM EDT

[#29]

I'd enter her doggy door.

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:28:37 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

It rubs the lotion on its skin...
... or it gets the hose.

This

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:31:14 AM EDT

[#31]

People still have doggy doors?

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:31:38 AM EDT

[#32]

Is she stuck in the doggy door?

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:32:09 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
It rubs the lotion on its skin...

... or it gets the hose.

I came here to post this.

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:33:45 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

Quoted:

It rubs the lotion on its skin...
... or it gets the hose.

This

Give her a breathalyzer....

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:37:12 AM EDT

[#35]

We have a plague of those things around here. We have to hunt them and cull them out, because ............ they remember.

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:37:32 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:

What do you do?

Is that a serious question?

You know what I would do...and what most here would do!

Hit it and forget it

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:39:29 AM EDT

[#37]

Give the dog a bone?

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:40:54 AM EDT

[#38]

SIIHPAPP

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:41:29 AM EDT

[#39]

Call the cops.

Even if I were single she was too drunk to legally consent to sex so any sex could get you jailed for rape.

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:41:30 AM EDT

[#40]

Ask my wife if I can keep her?

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:44:08 AM EDT

[#41]

Thats a pretty good looking mug shot.

Not guilty.

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:46:29 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Make a phone call.
"Zed? Maynard. Yeah, the spider just caught a couple of flies."

Kharn

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:50:56 AM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
GD answer - Fuck 'er hurdurdur

Honest answer - Open the door for her, get her something to cover herself with, get her some water and saltines and see if I can get a family member's/roommate's phone number from her to let them know where to collect their stray. If I couldn't, then I'd contact the PD's non-emergency number and have them take care of it.
The last thing I need is a crazy, blacked-out female accusing me of rape or stealing/throwing up on my shit or something.

Get that logic out of here

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:51:44 AM EDT

[#44]

Call the cops and toss her a towel or blanket to cover up with.

Taking advantage of extremely drunk disoriented women isn't my thing.

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:52:25 AM EDT

[#45]

It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!

Posted: 4/25/2013 2:52:36 AM EDT

[#46]

I would show her the back door!

Posted: 4/25/2013 3:02:48 AM EDT

[#47]

Posted: 4/25/2013 3:11:40 AM EDT

[#48]

I would attempt to contact family/friends to pick her up first. If that failed, I'd call the cops, but not press charges.

Something similar happened to a friend of mine about 7 years ago. He just bought a house, and was walking home from the bar absolutely trashed. In his four block walk, he somehow went a block too far, walked into a house (that was unlocked) that looked like his, and passed out on the floor by the front door. Old guy came downstairs with a gun, but my friend was out cold. Cops took him for the night, and the old guy didn't press charges. If he had been charged, his tour with his band (which included 20 some countries) might have been halted due to entry issues.