My wife was raised by her Grandmother, a wonderfully sweet and nice lady.  She's 80 years old but can surf the net like a 13 year old.  She just sent this joke to me - LOL



A lady walks into the welfare office, trailed by 15 kids...
"WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they ALL YOURS???"

"Yes, they're all mine," the tired momma sighs, having heard that question a
thousand times before.

"Well," says the social worker, then you must be here to sign up. I'll need
all their names."

"This one is my oldest--he's Leroy."

"OK, and who's next?"

"Well, this one's Leroy, also." The social worker raises an eyebrow but
continues.  One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.  
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, also named Leroy!

"All right...I'm seeing a pattern here...Are they ALL named Leroy?"

"Well, yes--it's actually really convenient.  When it's time for dinner, I
just yell 'Leroy!' and they all come running.  And if I need to stop the kid
who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and the kid, who ever he
is, stops in his tracks.  It's the smartest idea I ever had, naming them all
Leroy."

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and
says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the
whole bunch?"

"Ah, that's easy, said the mother,  then I call them by their last names."

LMAO

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month.

My fiancee's mother is great. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me.

She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew how to deal with this situation.

I headed out the front door ...

There, leaning against my car was her husband. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test

I kept it to myself that I thought their "little test" was asinine bullsh!t, but I'm marrying their daughter, not them.

I also kept to myself that the reason that I was walking out to my car was to get a c0nd0m ...