Found this from when I was in the Army...thought yall might like it:

One day, the battalion commander issued the following order to his executive officer:
"Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will be visible in this area, an event which occurs only once every 75 years.  Have the men fall out in the batallion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them.  In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theatre and I will show them films of it."

The XO related the order to the adjuctant:
"By order of the colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area.  If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march them to the theatre where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years."

The adjuctant related the order to the company commander:
"By order of the Colonel, in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening, the phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theatre. In case of rain in the battalion area, the colonel will give another order, something which occurs every 75 years."

The CO passed on the directive to the First Sergeant:
"Tomorrow at 2000 hours, the colonel will appear in the theatre with Halley's Comet, something which happens every 75 years.  If it rains, the colonel will order the comet into the battalion area."

Top's announcement in the formation the next morning was:
"Whgen it rains tomorrow at 2000 hours, the phenomenal 75-year-old Colonel Halley will drive his Comet through the battalion area in fatigues."

[:D]