The Minnesota State Fair starts next week.

One thing I hate about the fair is that it's ground-zero for the lie-spewing Democrats and Green Party Freaks.

This year I will be wearing at least ONE anti-asshole shirt. I want it to be a GOOD one.

My requirements for this shirt (which will be professionally silkscreened by a friend) are as follows.

1. Needs to be tongue-in-cheek.
2. Needs to be very funny to those who
  vote to the right.
3. Needs to screw Dems and the Green Party.
4. Cannot get me thrown in jail.
5. Needs to piss off many people.

So far the best thing I have come-up with for the Governors race is a slogan on the back that says "VOTE GREEN - ELECT KEN PENTEL"

On the front it will say "VOTE 4 MOE" in large letters...On top of the large letters it will say "Im going to"...Under the large letters it will say "Because Im a Fucking Idiot"

Pentel is a SPOILER this year =)

As far as the Senate race, I would just use the same...Im going to vote for...WELLSTONE...Because Im a fucking Idiot.

Any other ideas?

I suggest you NOT have vulgarities on your shirt..

Otherwise you come across as a dipshit.

I suppose I could leave those out.

What would be a reasonable substitution?

..."I'm a total moron" might work.

Don't say "Because I'm an idiot/moron/etc." because that insults people who are THINKING about voting for that person...and now you have NOT PURSUADED them, but rather just showed that you are a rude person.

The Art of Persuasion does not include insults.  Therefore, just stick to clever and funny jabs that are backed with truth.  For instance, "NEWSFLASH:  In America, 80 million gun owners killed no one today."

It makes fun of the media's bias, and the anti-gunners insistence that gun owners are irresponsible, radicals, murderers, etc. etc.  But because it's witty yet true, it's persuasive.

I really liked that Abe Lincoln vs Clinton shirt that was posted here the other day!