Heh...that's pretty funny.
Here's my poop story. The other I happen to have a nice #2. After finishing my business (and flushing) I happen to look in the bowl and notice there's a 1/2" ball stuck to one side of the bowl.
Now, I don't know about you, but I've never had anything stick to the side of the bowl of any size before. A stain here and there, but those come off with a flush.
But a freakin' chunk, stuck? WTF? Ok, this has to be something for the sh!t hall of fame right here.
So I do the normal guy thing and go find a camera. Now, normally, I have my digital camera in the car. Go grab it, that would be super convenient. No batteries. Crap. takes a couple hours to charge, hook it up and go look for a film camera. Find film camera, no film.
Crap!!! What does it take to get a picture of Poop these days? I would go to the store, but I'm afraid it will fall of the side of the bowl while I'm gone. Wife's coming home soon, so I call her to go to the store and get some batteries and film.
I'm still waiting for her to get home and walking to the toilet every few minutes to check. It's been over an hour and I've been drinking, so I've got to pee. But I don't want to use the pot, cuz, man, I HAVE to get a picture!
Wife gets home, and the first thing she does is throw me the film, rush to the bathroom and go. I'm screaming "Noo!!!!" the whole time of course, and she's too desperate for a can that she ignores me of course.
Of course, when I made it back into the bathroom to check my favorite toilet decoration, it was gone. [:(]
The most proud moment in my shit history and it's flushed, just like that.