Ever see the Jim Carey movie "Me, Myself & Irene"?

The scene where Jim Carey's wife is leaving him for the black midget, and as she's getting in to the car with the little guy, Jim Carey says to her "But wait, I thought you said you'ld eat whale blubber with me?" The midget pops his head out from the drivers seat, turns towards Jim Carey and says "Don't worry, she'll be eating blubber alright, just as soon as I free willie."

Oh my god, I fell off my couch when I heard that line!!!

How about sharing a few hilarious movie lines??

Me, Myself, and Irene:  "...come my little pussy fart..."

The Way Of The Gun:  "Someone shut that cunt up before I fuck start her head!!"

FMJ:  "Women and children!?!?  How can you shoot women and children!?!?"  "Easy, you just lead them a bit less!!"

Mall Rats:  "One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass.  True story, he bought the cat at the local mall so the whole fiasco was on the news.  He had to go to the emergency room to get it removed.  Then, the next week, I see him buying another cat,  so I say to him, 'Jesus Walter!! you know you're gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, so why don't you knock it off!?!?"

Mall Rats:  "One time, my cousin Walter was on this plane.  All of a sudden, the hydraulics failed.  He figures this is it and pulls it out and starts beating like mad.  Everyone else sees him and they all start beating off.  All of a sudden, the hydraulics kick back in and the plane rights itself.  Everyone puts away their pieces and gets off the plane, and no one ever mentions the phenomina again....true story."

Fifth Element:  "What's the red button do?"

That's it for now

"Candygram For Mongo!"

Or anything else from Blazing Saddles

From "Army of Darkness" ASH:Why are you doing this to me? Demon/doppleganger/whatever:Because your a goodie two shoes,your a goodie two shoes... ASH:(While pulling his double barreled shotgun slung around his back)Good,Bad, I'm the guy with the GUN!BLAM![shotgun] Or at the end of the movie:ASH:Give me some sugar baby![:X]

From Dogma when Jay wants proof the person is an angel and request for information no one knows.
Angel: You masterbate in the shower.
Jay: Everyone knows that. Tell me something no one knows.
Angel: You think of silent Bob when you do it.

Me, Myself & Irene:
No words, but the scene where the guy has the chicken up his ass. Funniest thing I have seen.

From "Army Of Darkness"

Princess: "But what of all those sweet words you spoke to me in private?"

Ash: "Awww, that's just what we call pillow talk, baby...."

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From "Platoon"

King: "There's a way out of anything. Just keep your pecker hard, and powder dry, and the world will turn."

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From "Friday"

Tucker to Cube: "Daaamn! You got to be a stupid muthaf**ka' to get fired on your day off."

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MP -- Wiper of other peoples bottoms, go away or I shall be forced to taunt you a second time.

The whole end courtroom scene in a Fish Called Wanda.
And also: "It's K-K-K-Ken, c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!"

Anything from "A Fish Called Wanda"

or "Office Space"

"you cant fight in here, this is the war room"

"no chance english bed-wetting types"
"i fart in your general direction"

or the greatest one of all time

old man-"judest priest barbra, its one of those flaming bags again"
old lady-"dont put it out with your boots ted"
old man-"dont tell me my buisness devil woman, call the fire dept. this ones outta control" stomp stomp sniff sniff "its poop again!!" "ill get you damn kids for this!!!, YOUR ALL GONNA DIE!!!!"

i almost stop breathing when i watch that, it is the funniest thing i have ever seen.

Full Metal Jacket:

"If I am going to die for a word, it is going to be poontang."

Call me an oldie,

From the original Terminator Movie:
Arnold:  "I'll be back."

Pulp Fiction (there are so many in this one),

"Aw man,  This is some repugnant-ass-shit!!!"  
Sam Jackson to John Travolta while cleaning up brain in the back seat of his car.

Tarantino to Sam Jackson:
"Did you see a sign outside saying 'dead-nigger storage?'  because I sure didn't see a sign saying 'dead-nigger storage!'"

Later...
Ving Rhames to Jackson...
"So go in there and chill them niggas out, 'cause I am sending the "Wolf,' di-rect-ly."
Jackson... "Shee-it-nee-gro,  that's all ya had to say!"

 In reference to a 58 Red Plymouth Fury...."You can't polish a turd!".....

  I wonder if that applies to scratches on an AR?  I know... I know... that is a low blow. OK, I take it back. After all, I have more than one of those.

Maybe we should knock and ask them to send the shapeshifter out? (HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW THIS ONE)