THE MAN CODE:

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat."

2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father,
priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without
recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call
BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.)

6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

7. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is
forbidden.

8. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional .

9. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

10. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission

11. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

12. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see
nothin.'

13. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

14. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

15 Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

16 If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin," then you may sit back and enjoy.

17 Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weightlifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

20 Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

21 If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him ... too gay.

22 Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a resounding "FUCK OFF!", you are absolved of your responsibility.

23 The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just friends" have carnal, drunken, monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

yep, that about sums it up!

CAREFUL ON YOUR RESPONSES, GUYS!!!!

It was posted by LADY_glock!!!

She could be a TIPS agent, (of sorts), reporting back to your significant other!!!

Lady_glock, please make sure when you report back to my girlfriend that I found this a peculiar post and was offended by the references it makes about men...

mug

[;)]

ilikelegs:  only if her ears are like handles...

No pony tails for me, thanks, pull a littl etoo hard on the hair and you could lose something mighty dear to you.  Ears on the other hand are just cartilige and can be yanked on to your hearts content...

[shock]



[:D]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's why there's the toothless clause for the mythical 3 footer. Mute remains an option though.

Gentlemen, there's been a serious breech of security - a member of the opposition has acquired a classified document!

LOL!

Shhhhhhh.... I wont tell!!!!  [8)]

Just call me "Ilikehooters".

How about it?

???
[>:/]

We need more Az chicks out at the October shoot. LADY_Glock you going?

Sure!!!!!  I'll show up.

(Mental note)

She must never meet my wife...she knows to much.


[:D]

#24

Man must buy a safe.  Not only to keep the bad guys out, but so the lovely wife does not know exacty how much stuff you really have.

#25

Tell your wife what you have sold.

Tell your friends what you have bought.

[b]26. During a barbeque, it is customary to make sure that your buddy manning the barbeque never has a beer less than half full. It is the other party goers responsibility to make sure he doesn't go dry, thus preventing accidental burning of the food due to inattention to the grill.[/b]






Edited to change 24 to 26.

I like rule 23.

Definitely faggy.  [:\]