Newly instituted Homeland Security measures

Since the Taliban and many Al Quaida cannot stand nudity and consider it a
sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, this Saturday afternoon at
2:00 pm. eastern time, all North American women are asked to walk out of
their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti terrorist
effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house
to prove they think it's okay to see other women nude. And since the
Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is
further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.

The United States of America appreciates your efforts to root out
terrorists and applauds your participation. God Bless America!
 

I'm doing my part, got my lawn chair and cooler ready. [x]