No doubt about it, I'm a computer idiot. I'm hard on the hardware, my computers always start running slow pretty quickly. Protective software confuses me. Ad nauseum. Are there any PC laptops that are for me? I hear Macs may fit the bill, but I want to know if there are options.

As a friend once noted "your house is a place where computers go to die".

No.


If they're running Windows, it's not the computer's fault when it gets chock full of malware and viruses.  It's PICNIC.  (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer)

Your computer is your internet penis.  If you stick it in dirty sites, you just might catch something.  Avoidance and protection are the best methods of keeping your computer clean and running well.  Use antivirus software (I use AVG and it works well) and avoid shitty looking sites with tons of popups.

Avoiding shady sites is one thing I do well.

Yup they are called MacBooks

I am PC illiterate myself. That said my Toshiba has been going strong now for over 3 years.  I am fairly careless with it these days as I plan on upgrading soon and even now it is like new. Dumb luck I guess.

Nope. Every time someone makes something idiot proof, the world makes a better idiot.

Then why are you here?

Classic....

http://www.google.com/intl/en/chrome/devices/

-Foxxz

Just use a Linux live cd.  You get a clean copy of the OS every time you reboot.

All PCs are idiot proof - IF you set them up that way.  Unfortunately no one does.  Let me guess - you're running on the only account set up on the machine, you don't really know the name of the account, and there's no password or login screen.  You're running on an Administrator account, which means you have full permission to totally fuck Windows up.

What you need is a limited "User" account, or better yet a "Guest" account.  That way even if you deliberately try really hard you won't be able to fuck it up.  Have one of your computer literate friends set it up.

Windows 7 is a pretty good OS if you arent on that. "The" number one thing to remember and do, is:

1. never store anything to your local drive.

2. Keep up with your OS and driver discs so you can just format and reinstall whenever you like.

3. Learn how to back up to a removable drive things like your bookmarks

4. Surf all the porn you like, download game addons off Russian servers and don't worry.

Anyone that has data on their computer to lose, shouldn't own a computer. Or at least deserves to lose the data. Always save to a removable drive, always back up settings to a removable drive.

lol.. gonna suggest that to my parents next time I get to spend a saturday unfucking their computer.

I like Vaio's as long as someone else is buying them for me.  Kind of the Mac of the PC world.

However I am writing this on a Velocity Micro.  The most trouble free and crapware free computer I have ever used.  Excellent build quality too.  I would consider Velocity to be the true Mac of the PC world.

1. Choose a reliable brand.
2. Make sure the model you choose isn't junk.
3. Make sure you are getting decent hardware; sounds like you don't do anything gaming/video editing/photoshop so all you really need to worry about is a fast CPU, 6GB of RAM, and whatever size of HDD space you require. Possibly an SSD if you don't need much space. SSD = far faster and less likely to break than an HDD, but costs about 10 times as much per GB.
4. Download Microsoft Security Essentials, Malywarebytes and Spybot S&D.
5. Don't go to shady torrent websites.
6. Don't click on spam email.
7. Scan with the above programs every now and then. Current CPUs are fast enough to run this in the background while you do other things so there is no reason not to run them.
8. Download Crap Cleaner. Run the Cleaner and the Registry Cleaner every week.
9. If you have an HDD, defrag it every now and then.
10. Buy an external HDD. Make backups of data monthly. Buy DVDs. Burn data DVDs every now and then.

If you go with Apple:
1. Get ESET anti virus. It is free though not as full of a program when compared to MSE.
2. Don't go to shady websites, spam email ect.

If you suspect your PC is having issues:
1. Download CPUID Monitor. This will display your component parts. You can see if something is over heating.
2. Download HD Tune or Crystal HD. You can scan of issues of your HDD here.

this, most definitely the best advice in this thread.  my parents cannot seem to grasp the concept that the internet is a place full of malicious intent with regards to computer integrity and personal information.  

porn sites are a huge killer too.  if you're not internet savvy enough to keep your computer clean, this will be the biggest source of viruses you can get aside from downloading things of questionable origin.

also, download your windows updates regularly as they contain lots of security fixes.