Things I Have Learned About Texas!

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
(They do this in Louisiana too.)

Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.

Possums will eat anything.

Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.

Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their house.

You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

Texas has 5 seasons:
Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
Winter, Dec. 2 to Feb 15

The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until Oct 2.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Texans really don't have an accent.

When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.

Fixinto is one word.

A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.

The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's supper.

Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.

Backards and forards means I know everything about you.

'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

And the most important thing......

There's no place I'd rather be than TEXAS!

More Texanisms:

You (we) know you're from Texas if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store.

6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, plant, or animal.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.

9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.

10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

11. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

12. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

13. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

16. You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."

17. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.

18. You know whether another Texan is from east, west, north, or south Texas
as soon as they open their mouth.

19. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

20. Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as " goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."

21. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

22. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.

23. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Texas.


And just because I like playing with the pirahna:
[img]http://www.pvponline.com/archive/2001/pvp20011218.gif[/img]

"He needed killin'" is a valid, legal defense.

FM on a road sign means "Farm to Market road."

Whats a Farm To Market road?

it's exactly what it sounds like.

When an armadillo is startled, it's first reaction is to jump about two feet into the air. This is a good fact to know if you happen to run accross on in the middle of the night. [:D]
Here are some more.
[url]http://www.swfa.com/texan.html[/url]

You need to get out more.

Farm to Market Road originally meant a one lane paved "slab" road.  You could always tell which direction the closest town was because that was the side of the road that was paved.  That was so loaded farm wagons wouldn't get stuck in the mud going into town "Farm to Market" when it rained.  If you crossed a FM slab you'd know which way to turn to get to town.

If the weather was just a little wet oncoming traffic would each put their outside tires in the dirt and keep the inside tires on the pavement.

If it was REALLY muddy the traffic coming INTO town had the right of way and each half mile there was a paved double-wide stretch of pavement.  The outbound traffic had to pull onto the wider part and await the inbound traffic to pass.  Or back up to the closest passing lane and let the inbound traffic have the right of way.

Texas Country Etiquitte.

two more...

The turn signal is a option at the dealer, and it cost $10,000

Speed limit = posted + 20

If you are speaking to a Texan about kicking another man's ass, and the guy is an ass kicker himself, the Texan might reply, "You might as well try jacking off a mountain lion."

I think I got that one right. he he

You can drive 12 hours in one direction and never leave the State of Texas.

Along those lines, if you find yourself west of San Antonio with a quarter tank of gas and come across a gas station, FILL UP THEN!  That "Last station for 100 miles" sign isn't a joke.  There's a whole lot of nothing between San Antonio and El Paso.

Red clay is harder to wash off than cured concrete.

Football is more popular than all other sports combined, especially at the High School and College levels.

State Troopers do not have a sense of humor.  And if they stop you and you're away from home or from out of state, be fully prepared to drive to the nearest county post office to mail in your fine via check as they escourt you.

If you find yourself eating in the valley and they tell you it's fajita (beef), it's probably not and it's best you don't know what it really is.

In Austin, the only thing worse than an Aggie is a Sooner.

In College Station, the only thing worse than a T-sip (Longhorn) is losing to them.  BTW, Hookem Horns! [}:D]

When tragedy strikes, like the A&M bonfire collapes, the Aggies and the Longhorns can put aside their stupid rivalry and act like normal human beings.

At any given time, even in the middle of nowhere, you're probably pretty close to an important historical marker.

Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas...

I live directly off of one, but they're cutting down all my beautiful trees to expand it. [:(]

Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas...

I don't claim to be an expert on this subject, but afaik, in California the roads are either paved or unpaved. I never heard of a road where they pave just one side. If an unpaved road tends to get muddy in winter, they may poor gravel on it.

One-lane "Slabs" are getting rare in Texas these days being replaced over the years by better roads.  The slabs were built during the Depression and earlier when Model-T's and farm tractors were the major forms of transportation.  I remember the days farm families used to ride into town on a tractor-pulled wagon on Saturday to do their shopping.  You have to know where to look for them.  One of them goes thru our place on the prairie.  And there's one of the "Pull-off's" across the street from one of our houses that was used in the movie "Bonnie and Clyde" back in the 1960's.  They used it since B&C actually used is as a getaway road after robbing a bank(s).  A great grandfather was sheriff then and when police in Dallas called to tell him B&C were coming his way he told them if they wanted them they could chase them.