Now I'm a reasonable guy and I understand people aren't perfect. If your phone goes off during military honors at a funeral please quickly and quietly silence your ringer.

If you choose to answer said phone and then talk during TAPS I reserve the right to break said phone in half, knee you in your assigned reproductive organ, and curb stomp your face as a valuable lesson to others.

Brought to you by your friendly funeral service professional and the letter q.

You forgot about ramming the broken phone bits into their ass.