I have decided that I need to post more to catch up to ETH so here I go:

You will never question your intelligence again, after you read these responses.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,"
-- Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson! for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees,"
-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president,"
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
-- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that ! are doing it."
-- Al Gore, Vice President

"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet,"
-- Former British foreign minister, Ernest Bevin.

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-- Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"
-- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

CONT.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,"
-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Keppel Enderbery

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
-- Dan Quayle

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
-- Dan Quayle, VP

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago!"
-- Dan Quayle, VP

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state.  It is a state that is by itself.  It is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
-- Dan Quayle, VP

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.  May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course,
that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-- Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Keving67

I don't know about the rest but the Mariah Carey quote is an urban legend.

I'm sorry, but I can't vouch fpor the originality of these qoutes.  I just got them in an email.

Keving67

if the Hillary one is true I would love a source. As a true resident of NY I need all the things I can get to discredit her in the fight to convince people not to re-elect her. Sadly I failed in the fight to not get her elected the first time [:(]

Sorry, but the Dan Quayle "Latin" quote is also an urban legend--- it started as a joke told by a reporter and has been repeated and embellished so many times that it's become 'fact.'

What about the recent quote from the Lib-Dem congresswoman visiting NASA?  They showed her the robot vehicle America landed on Mars and she asked if it could go over and see where the astronauts had landed.

Wrong world, genius.

Urban legends or not, they're funny as hell, and there really are people that stupid[:)].

Exactly, I even know a few of them this stupid.

Keving67

I thought it was Yogi Berra that said that.  Sportscasters quote it all the time. [:)]