For the love of God and all that is Holy.
Do not:  Throw every ever loving fucking tool in a fucking god damn fucking pile.
             Put your fucking daughter down for knowing how to fix your god damned ever loving red necked bullshit.
             Ask said daughter for a god damned cigarette, after having a god damn stroke and making said daughter pull up your fucking pants because you cant.   I swear to fucking God, there was a   milkman or mailman involved.  My fucking pinky finger is bigger than that.  Daughters aren't supposed to see that shit.  No wonder my mother laughs her ass off when you get the freak on  

You saved every god damned screw you ever came across, you think maybe I could find one god damned fucking wood screw in that pile you call a work bench?  In your fucking god damn tool bag, that's supposed to be in the ever loving car, A fucking Mazda of all things Holy....You have every goddamned fucking standard socket known to man....  Where in the deepest circle of Hell do you keep the fucking metric sockets?  When your left arm hurts and goes numb for months, take your sorry fucking ass to the fucking doctor.  
It took me god damn two mother fucking hours to find the fucking phillips attachment for the fucking drill that wasn't fucking charged, had to find the fucking battery and ever loving charger to charge fucking battery.  All so I could screw some god damned reflectors on a fucking telephone pole because my mother can't use the fucking mirrors on the god damned car.  

             Leave your shit a complete horrible mess, that fucking Einstein couldn't figure out.
             Ignore the fucking fact that "Wow, my left arm really hurts, numb, ect......."  
             Put your daughter down for knowing how to do shit, you sorry fucking sack of worthless piece of fucking shit.  Because now you're counting on me to fix all the fucking shit you were too drunk and lazy to do.  
             Put down the dudes I date, because well, daughters look up to their dad's and you set a horrible example.            
             Lock me out of the fucking gun cabinet.  My dad was supposed to teach me about guns.  Just because I'm a girl doesn't make me worthless.  When the owls or coyotes come for your stupid ass never shutting the fuck up dog, I'll just yell at them.  And i'll be happy because that damn piece of shit won't shut the fuck up.
             Do not under any circumstances, put your daughter down for having the balls to learn.  One day she may be pulling up your pants.  

Fuck!  

I'm way too old and grumpy to read that wall of text.  

Wow. Talk about daddy issues.
You forgot the part where he didn't hug you enough.

Not bad, could use a little more variety in the vulgarity, but overall, not bad at all.  I'll give it a 9/10.

I'm 52 and I love you.


Just kidding, I don't care what your "Fucking" issue is.

It's shrinkage.

Not bad.

well, at least i throw away all the extra screws at my house.  :D

Honey I think you need to PM PlaneJane and work up a strategy before going deeper with this thread.

Ouch.  Sorry your dad sucks.

Yep. Not sure about the rest but my dad puts all of my tools in a pile as well. I hate that shit dammit!

Did you get spanked a little hard as a kid?  

I see no courtroom doll reference in this thread yet
Speed

M'kay

I'd slap a bar of soap in your mouth little girl.

Tell us how you REALLY feel.

So do you have a bunch of tattoo's?

Want a candy bar? it's right here in my pocket

....and not enough as an adult.

OP is clearly not a member of The Greatest Generation.

Pics?

What round to put dad down?

Life sucks.  Get used to it.  Meanwhile, come here and give Daddy a kiss.

Clearly 8/10

 

are you a stripper?

One in 1000 men have a micropenis. Just so you know that it isn't that uncommon.



 

If you want, I will be happy to give you a virtual internet adoption.

Don't try so hard.

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Someone has to say it:

Pics?


-e- Foiled again!

I couldn't stand to have my tools all over the place

I'm wearing old spice after shave.......................just saying  

So, I gotta know.......Which one is Daddy?  

to much punk ass whining to read all that shit

My screwdriver is charged.
9/10 rant

only 29 uses of the work fuck
And here I thought Texas girls did everything bigger

Well shit, I went back and read it.  Waiting patiently for pics

Such a use of so many foul words is totally uneeded. Use your 3 or 4 brains cells and use other words.

Not a half bad god damned fucking rant. I'll give it a god damned fucking 8/10.













-2 for god damned fucking repetitive god damned fucking expletives.

I only do what I have to do around the house for my mom.
But dammit!  Did he have to be such an ass?  Really, how hard is it to flipping put a fucking screw driver back where it goes?
Do you really need those fifty million nails from great grandpa?  
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, get me started on the flipping greenhouse full of dead orchids and Bonsai.  That the fucking loser expects me to revive for him.  
Which reminds me, I have to track down a water leak in the greenhouse.......Fuck!!!!  It'll take the rest of the day just to find the tools for that.

Did someone huff all of the freon out of the fridge again?Really,I had to read this twice to even take a stab at what you were getting at.

It isn't the one on the right, EdSr only has boys.

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Sick, pitiful rant and a nasty, nasty thread.

tl dr

I assume this picture was taken in Oklahoma, or possibly just over the line in Arkansas

52 count as old fart?

Danny

Looks like not enough.

Shut yur face punk...

Glad I'm not her Daddy.

I wouldn't get any sleep knowing my daughter wants to kill me.

cliffnotes are your friend

Ya'll say what you want.  I don't really care.  I got it all off my chest and feel better.  If you must know, yes, the fucker beat me.  Hard.  
Full fisted punches.  Like pinning me down to hit me.  When I was little and couldn't fight back.  Now, I fight back.