I'm the shy, quiet type. Not a real party animal. 52,6'1", about 200lb. I'm not ugly but I'm no Charles Bronson either [haha]. Guess I could start hangin out at bars but shit, haven't done that since I was in my 20s. My hobby was my family but the divorce and the kids wanting to live with the ex took care of that. How does an introvert become an extrovert? To all you extroverts out there, how come your not introverts?

So, all you jocks, cool guys, ex high school quarter backs, cocky bastards, how do you do it?  

Those types of people are probably not hanging around an internet site on a Saturday night. [:|]

Wow.

I am introverted in the extreme ,and usta "TURN IT ON"for any sharp looking lady, but lets face it Bullshit is bullshit and at 50 you shouldn't have to do that anymore... Just be yourself, someone will like you.. Dress up , go to a nice establishment, buy a lady who is single a drink and just be yourself.  No problem... Maturity.. You have that and that is what a WOMAN wants..
If they are flirting with you in the extreme leave them be, they think you have money... If they are just themselves then that should work out all right...

Just my .02cents worth.

Oh yeah and watch out for late 20 somethings/30 somethings looking for a sugar daddy..

Get yourself an equal age lady and show her whats some real lovin is about.[;)]


Ben

It don't think its possible. It's always seemed to me as though people just naturally tend towards the situations that they're comfortable with.

Some people function in "extrovert" situations, others don't. If you do, then you'll probably find yourself drifting into it as the other parts of your daily routine change. If you don't, it won't. Simple as that.

Drink lots of booze. When I went to Cheetahs at first hardly any of the really nice womenz would come over to me because I am so shy, but after about 5 beers everything changed. I was talking to them alot and they were crawling all over me, 2 at a time even! Cost me $600 for all of those lap dances though.

Liquid courage [img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/boozer.gif[/img]

Church, supermarkets, etc. There are groups that specialize in setting up middle-aged singles. I know a guy who did that and met a good girl.

If all else fails, you can order one of those 20 year-old mail order girls.

Go out whenever possible.

Take action, dont be a wall flower. When you get to the bar scope out the women. Spot one who is alone or with a single girlfriend (never more than a pair). Make eye contact and smile, mouth the word "hello". If she appears receptive approach her right away. If you wait to long you become creepy stalker guy.

Say hello and ask her what her name is. Dont automatically give her your name, make her ask for it. She will if she is interested and it's a way to judge her interest. Make small talk, dont buy her a drink unless you have been talking at least 20mins and she is giving you green light signals like playing with her hair and touching your arm.

Ask her for her HOME phone number, memorize it, and then YOU end the conversation and walk away.
Dont approach her again that night.

Call her in 3 - 5 days to ask her out.

Simple isnt it.

I got reamed for mentioning mail order brides last year.. still always an option.

I was an introvert when I was younger but now I could give a rats azz what people think so I talk to everyone.

John

.....You pay for pussy one way or the other.{WAKEUP}At least if its with $ .. you get it.THEN THEY GO AWAY!And cant try to take more than 1/2 your stuff.

STAY OUT OF BARS!!  The whole atmosphere in those places is so yucky that an introverted guy is going to feel overwhelmed.  I won't go into the type of people you'll meet in a bar.  Sure, some of them are nice folks, just like you.  And many of them are the scum of the earth, and how the hell do you tell the difference when the music's so loud, the air is so smoky, and you've got a couple of drinks in you.

When I was single some years back, I found a church that sponsered a nondenominational singles group,  that was built around a weekly evening program, followed by some of the group adjourning to a local pub.  On weekends there were group sponsered social activities; rafting, house parties, hiking, etc.

Groups such as this offer a low pressure way to encounter new folks in general, not just potential dates.  I made far more "pals", both male and female, than I found women to date,  but those I did end up dating were people I'd had met and experienced in general social ways before I ever thought about asking them out.

See if you can find such a group where you are. I promise you, meeting folks in such a way is a lot less stressful than hanging out in bars.

Oh yeah, almost forgot---Parents Without Partners is a good way to meet new folks. If you're anywhere near a metropolitan area, there's bound to be a chapter around.  Check the phone book.[:D]

We offer several different lives for sale, and we can arrange attractive financing.  We also have a "Lease a Life" program.  Call us at 1-800-GET-LIFE.  [:D]

rain,

i'm sorry to hear of your situation. i can't imagine what it would be like to lose wife and kids. the adjustment has to enormous. but fortunately you still have a life. sounds as if you are looking to modify the lifestyle. that's much easier i think.

despite the many opinions here to the contrary, i definitely believe an intorvert can become an extrovert...or at the very least, much less introverted. the key is wanting to do so, and also finding a genuine satisfaction in talking to other people. i'd also say the "cocky bastard" is not the attitude you are going for. a lot of times that is just a front to cover insecurity. friendly and sincere is the way to go.

another important aspect is to try and understand why you consider yourself an introvert. is it due to lack of interest in others? would you rather be doing your own thing? discomfort from meeting new people or unfamilair places? if you would like to be the type of person that can walk up and start a conversation with anyone, it's likely that you can. it might take a little time before it becomes second nature though. just based on your post, i have no doubt you can do it though.

id be curious to know what you would like to get out of the whole process. is it just going out and talking to women? or meeting people you can add to your life in a positive way, i've rebuilt my lifestyle several times over the years and i'll be happy to share my thoughts and experiences.

don't rule out the bars either. they are an excellent place to practice and experiment.

Don't pay for puntang, that's what beer and bars are for.  If she's ugly, you drink, if you're ugly, you get her to drink.  In no time, she'll be boffing the knob and you'll be misty eyed while reminiscing over the days of when you could raise the family honor for a curtain call!

Bottom line is to get over the ex and practice in the bars for awhile.  Stay away from strip clubs and go for the younger crowd places, where you'll find people getting out of work for happy hour or something.  If you're in some dive, it won't be likely to find a good woman.

Getting more outgoing just means releasing your old bad habits of being "proper."  If you worry about what you say or what other people think about you, you'll always be a turtle, but if you take some chances and be funny or say something you might not ordinarily say, then there's more of a chance of thumping like a bunny!  

Just take some chances you normally would not take.  See where they lead, and modify what you do accordingly.  STOP modifying once you wake up with 4 playboy bunnies in bed with you.  Anything less of that needs work!

Don't ask me why but in my experience women seem to like older men. It seems quite perverted to me, people like Catherine Zeta Jones who bags "father figure" types. Or Woody Allen and his step daughter. I mean it's perverted, but it also means you still have hope. I once asked a girl why she likes older guys, she's like, they have more experience, they could teach me. If you ask me that's fvcked up. Just head over to your local college and pick some of them up. I'm sure you could teach them a thing or two.

Been There...    Done That...   At 55...   Three things worked great...
#1 - Internet personals...   Got lots of dates..   Some were great, some not..   Always make the first outing a short coffee or something..
#2 - Supermarkets...   Ask food/ cooking advise of any good lookin' ones without rings..
#3 - Chick Magnet..  Get one of these (pic below) and walk it in parks, trails, lakes etc..  Works great..  

[img]http://www.printroom.com/_vti_bin/ViewImage.dll?userid=bigyeti&album_id=76841&image_id=49&courtesy=1[/img]

College girls, yeah, now thats what i'm talkin about.

I did become a minister, over the net with the ULC, no big deal.

When I first meant my future ex wife, it was in a grocery store.

I gave up going to church when I was about 18 [catholic] Didn't give up believing tho.

Sometimes I think all I want out of life now is a series of meaningless one night stands.

But something is holding me back. Don't know if its my morals or my being an introvert.

As a person who was once very shy, I would say that in order to get a life, you must first realize that you don't need one. If you are desperate and go out looking for a life, you probably won't get one. Instead, you must be confident in who you are. Take pleasure in doing the things you enjoy, like shooting for example. Just be confident and be yourself, and you will meet people. You might not find many women in activites like shooting, but if you do, it's sure to be an interesting relationship.

And if all else fails, there's always AR15.com [whacko]

I'll rent her out by the hour...[;)]

Have you ever thought about joining a gym?  You can get in shape and still meet the ladies!  Good Luck, I'm sure it will work out for you.

I dont know what it's like at the gyms you go to, but around here meeting women at the gym is complicated. You are dealing with two sets of social rules, Gym ettiqute and Dating ettiqute, way to many social landmines to step on.
Those who are there to seriously work out get pissed off pretty fast at the guys who are there to pick up women and are just getting in the way.

Pratice your people skills/small talk at the bar. Get phone numbers even if you dont plan to call. You are doing it for practise. So when you meet someone you are genuinely interested in a non-bar setting you wont be so nervous & rusty.