I got to snoop around the specs:

If you want to safe a file in Word, the suggested filename is "last will.doc"

Comes with a 42 inch monitor.

In the chicken game, you don't shoot the birds, you feed them.

Speakers are set to max. volume by the OEM

In Solitaire, you can chose between the backrounds "Normandy" or "Pacific".

Special Service: Life-Time warranty.

The mouse is a force-feedback model that adjusts movements to correct Parkinsons.

No "Buy now, pay later" option.

If no key is pressed for 15 minutes, a call to 911 will be initiated.

Krap!  I broke my hip trying to carry that damn monitor up the stairs.

Where's my glasses?  I tried to call 911, but I can't find the "no" key to hold down for 15 minutes.......