I'm in the process of laying down the kitchen tile, been drinking all day, and it looks kinda funny


What have I done

It's definitely an art.



The guys who do it good and do it right get some big bucks.

But double taps are easy!  

It's actually very easy, if you haven't been drinking all day.

Mortar consistency, setting the tiles properly with a rubber mallet, and snapping chalk lines as guides (don't use the stupid plastic spacer things).

Its the easiest job you will wish you paid someone else to do.





And you get to find out how square your house really is.

Laying pipe is more fun

Hmm, I guess thats two things I'm doing wrong So the plastic spacers are no good? My lines are mostly straight, but its a big pain in the ass

This is what I have been saying... "I'd rather be laying pipe"

It's not that they are worthless, it's just that tile manufacturers are allowed size error in the process.  I've seen some that state an error size of 3%.  On 12 inch tile (i.e. 11 3/4 with a 1/4 inch grout line) I've seen actual tile measurements of 11 11/16 to 11 13/16.  The spacers don't allow for the fact that you may have to play with your spacing a little.

The plastic spacers are fine. I did my laundry room, kitchen, and dining area with one foot square tiles, and they worked quite well.

You need to use a good mastic trowel (notched), apply enough mastic to do two or three rows at a time, don't make circles with the notched trowel so air-pockets are created, seat the tile firmly, and use the spacers. THEN drink the beer.

Thats what I've been doing, I'm gonna do a few more rows right now, finished some dinner...

Most important are mortar mix and tile setting. Without these, some of your tiles will be free floating and crack and/or the grout will continually crack.

The spacers are a waste of time and effort, don't even buy them.

No rooms are square - start off by finding the edge that you want to use as a guide, generally the most prominent wall. For each new row of tile, before putting mortar down, place the first and last tiles to align with the previous row, and snap a chalk line between them, which you will use as a guide for spreading your mortar, and to align the edge of each tile in that row.

I made very good money when I was a kid (15-18) doing high end tile work at 2.5-3 times the going rate for very picky customers. They would follow behind me a day later with straight edges and tapping all over every tile with a wooden dowel (reveals un-adhered tiles by change in sound)

Smash it all up and just do a mosaic on the floor.

LOL, drunk, laying tile, and duping himself...