this is awesome:
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Principal - "Thank you for coming, Mr. Flagg"
R.F. - "What can I do for you?"
Principal - "Well, your Son, Lancaster, was playing some kind of game on the playground. Apparently, he was with friends acting like "Alien Hunters" and shooting each other with pretend guns."(holds index finger and thumb up)
R.F. - "................And?"
Principal - "Well, we don't feel that this is appropriate behavior. it was very dramatic."
R.F. - "............AND?!"
Principal - "They've been disallowed from playground activities for a week."
R.F. - (turns to Son) "Is what she says true?"
Lance - (Sobs)"Yes, Daddy"
R.F. - "OK. Now son, there are some people in this world called "Liberals". These people seem to think that they have the obligation to control everything and everyone that they don't agree with. If they are close to failing at this, then they try to hurt them in whatever way that hurts the most."
Principal - "Mr. Flagg, I really---"
R.F. - "Excuse me, but were any of your Grandparents in World War Two?"
Principal - "Yes, I had a Grandfather that---"
R.F. - "OK, did you ever think that your Grandpa, and the other men who bravely saved this world from the Nazis played "Cops-And-Robbers", or, "Cowboys-And-Indians" in their school's playgrounds?"
Principal - "I can't really speak for---"
R.F. - "Did you know that if they didn't learn how to simulate combat situations in their youth that they'd be baffled at the thought of warfare? And, the possible result would be that you'd be speaking German and your parents would be lampshades?"
Principal - "Sir, our playground---"
R.F. - "WAIT! Did you say this happened in a PLAY ground? Aren't kids supposed to PLAY in these places?"
Principal - "It was a display of violent---"
R.F. - "Did you think that by not allowing kids to be kids by playing and letting loose the stresses of daily life that you might be creating the next Harris and Kliebold?"
Principal - "Well..."
R.F. - "Son, you and I are going hunting on Saturday. Then we're going fishing on Sunday. After fishing, we'll go home and get cleaned up to go out for all the pizza and sodas you want. Ma'am, please get all the paperwork I need to sign to get my Son away from your Communist indoctrination that some might call a school. What you have done here is immoral and wrong and my son will have no more of it."
Principal - "Hunting?? Do you have GUNS in your home??"
R.F. - "More than I need, less than I want."