There’s a crazy lady about a block from my house who feeds the squirrels – a LOT!  The city has refused to solve the situation (“why can’t we all just leave a poor little old lady alone” –grrr).  The density of these creatures has gone from cute to infestation and health hazard.  They’re trashing homes in the neighborhood.  How can I best manage this problem?  Here are my constraints:
a) I live in town.
b) I have two dogs that HATE cats.  Heck, I don’t like cats all that much myself.
c) My wife is a Disney victim.

Here’s what I’ve thought of so far, but maybe others have suggestions?

1) Blast them w/ firearms for food and fun.
Not an option, I’m well within the city limits.

2) Plink them quietly w/ a BB gun.
Not an option, too visible.  Besides, I’m not 15 anymore, nobody’s going to cut a 30+ yr old any slack on that.

3) Talk to the nice old lady.
Not an option, the old bitch has blown off everyone who’s asked her nicely, and not so nicely.

4) Wait for the old bat to die.
W/ today’s modern medicine?  I don’t think so.  And I’m just too nice a guy to hurry that process up.

5) Get a “barn cat”, which is fed a lean meal intermittently off the back stoop just enough to stay around.
My personal favorite, as it automatically solves the problem on its own, and I can claim I have no idea who’s cat that dreadful beast is.  Problem is, my wife is not so keen on the idea as she’s worried the cat will freeze to death during the winter but the dogs will freak if there’s a cat in the house.  That and I generally don’t like house cat’s (I got no patience for attitude from a creature living in MY house).  

6) Poison.
Hmm… But I’d like to avoid poisoning pets, my own and others, (want to be a good neighbor) and more importantly, the stench of rotting corpses.  Probably illegal?

7) Kill trap.
Messy.  Probably illegal?

8) Live trap
Pain in the ass, then what do I do?  Do I kill them in the garage while they’re in the trap?  How?  I’m not about to “release into the wild” so that they can just come right back.  And I’m not into cruelty either, so anything that looks painful/messy I’d rather not do.  See constraint c.

9) Other – AR15.com suggested ideas.
Well, have it boys (and girls), what are your thoughts?

When I moved into my surburban house 3 years ago, I had the same problem.  Neighbor (about 100 yards though the woods) fed the squirrels.  We had them everywhere--in the flower beds, on our roof.  

I have killed at least 100 of them in the last three years with pellets, CB caps and Colibiri .22s.  Now it is a rare occassion to see one in our yard.

My record was 5 in one day.  I snipe at them out of windows and shoot them out of trees.  I shot one off a branch at 50 yards once with a CB(my personal best).  Call me sick, but I just love to kill the little Fu@@ers!  Happy hunting!

Live traps aren't that much of pain.  Depending on what you use for bait you will probably catch more cats and racoons than anything.  If you release the squirrels several miles away they won't come back.

The problem is with the old lady feeding them there will always be more and more squirrels since the ample supply of food makes their chances of survival a lot better.

I would suggest live trapping to get rid of most the adults and a cat to eat any of the offspring.  The dogs will adapt to the cat, as long as you reinforce that the cat belongs there.  The cat will do pretty good defending itself as well.  I've seen a 10 pound cat put a 70 pound black lab in it's place.

Use them for cheap entertainment!
Buy a Yankee Flipper bird feeder, they are "squirrel proof". When a squirrel climbs on
it, a motor is activated that spins them around and tosses them thru the air!

I'm about to get one myself - too many squirrels in my yard, maybe it'll scare'em off!

[:D]

[url]http://www.yankeeflipper.com/droll/index.cfm[/url]

I believe there are electronic devices that emit sounds (not audible to the human ear) that will drive them away. Check The Home Depot.

ARH

Buy me a planeticket outthere and Ill take care of your problem, besides my Pellet gun is the only thing a 16 year old can own.(but it is full auto and I didnt even have to buy a tax stamp or a lisence for it)

There's a quaint couple next house over with a feed-the-squirrels fixation.  We got lots of trees and they have ears of corn for the little bastards to eat.  Everyone in the neighborhood can't stand that quirk but the couple are good neighbors in every other respect.  Sooo...one of my neighbors is a former County Sheriff who, when he was in the Army, was one of the 10th Mountain Division line ski-troopers who tested AR's in Alaska in the 1950's.  He's a good shot.  So we have a scout-sniper team for squirrels.  One of us keeps lookout for neighbors while the other snipes rodents.  We just built a cantilevered deck on the back of his house.  Trees canopy our backyards and it's like a shooting gallery up there.  We call it Harry's Treehouse and it's a great place to shoot.  [X]

You know the answer.
Time to host a AR15.com shoot on the homested. [BD]

Really, setup a sniper setup from inside the house,
BB the suckers till the bodies hit the floor!

c-rock

A friend use to have trouble with squirrels and he got some clay owl figures and put one at each corner of his house.  The squirrels went away and he didn't have to shoot one of them.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but his wife was also a "Disney victim" and wouldn't allow it.  I think he found them at a feed and seed supply place.

Get yourseld a couple of Pythons or Boas and let them go to town. [:D]

Owl decoys are a good idea.  You'll likely scare the squirrels away from the immediate vicinity.  However you'll also ATTRACT crows.  LOTS of crows.  Lots of NOISY crows that won't go away till the owl decoys go away.  Pick your poison.

Why would and how could anyone complain about you firing a Benjamin? Unless you are in CA, NJ, MD, or IL there shouldn't be a problem. You are going to eat what you kill right?

We don't have crows here, but there were a bunch of magpies that use to come around and harass the decoys.  They were noisey, but didn't nest in his attic or destroy anything.  Seems like the lesser of the two evils if you can put up with the noise.

mount a skeet thrower on the deck railing.
cock it.  make sure you have a long rope to the trigger bar.  Bait the arm where you would put the clay bird.  Let the rodents get used to eating off of it. Then when you want some good entertainment let one climb aboard and then launch em.
If you live in the peoples republic of California you will probably get life in prison with out parole.  Make sure you do this during hunting season and with a license.  @ least you will have some defense.

I would blantly shoot them with a BB gun in broad daylight. Who cares if that old bitch sees you ?

Heh, fellow's I'd LOVE to go plink them w/ CB's, oh man would I ever - Man, I'd have paid extra for the house if we were outside town.  But only a year ago some kid in town was doing just that and ended up blinding a lady who was working in her garden 1/2 a mile away.  Took out vision in both her eyes (freak hit I guess) -  real sob story.  Going to be a tough sell explaining why it's OK officer, I know what I'm doing.  

I live deep in town, you can pretty much assume 80% of all fired shots are going to hit a house - or worse.  Plinking them just ain't an option - too many legal troubles and too much liability.  In this setting, it's also just plain unsafe/irresponsible shooting.

But wow, some really cool other options.

I still like the thought of a barn cat.  I wonder if I can make a heated dog-house for the winter....

Use a live trap. When you catch one bring the cage in and drop it in a container of water and drown the tree rats. When it has drown take it out and toss it in the street in front of the old ladies house. She will think it got run over by a truck. Snares work real well for other animals. Maybe a micro sized snare would be handy and they will stop struggling after only a few minutes.  One more thing dont ask me how I know these things work.

I had the same problem when we moved into our new house, I used a live trap, I caught 19 of the bastards in three months. I took them about five miles away and released them. Killing them was not an option, have wife & kids, would not have gone over very well.   Good luck.