Once upon a time I was the nightcrew NCOIC in a military shop.  Showtime was 1645, if you were late you had to go buy the shop doughnuts.

Well, we had this one lazy fellow who was a bit older than the average hard charger (he was ~24, I as a Sergeant at 21), he was also quite an idiot.

Well one day he was late, only about a few minutes.  I told him to go get them doughnuts.

He says "show me the order, show me where it says I  have to buy doughnuts if I'm late."

I told him I couldn't show him the order to buy doughnuts, but I would gladly show him the order to write him up for unauthorized absence.

UA, burn him!!!

Do any of you have a similar story?